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Bdsm Rules
Ideas & Inspiration for Power Exchange Relationships
BDSM Rules and Ideas for Master/slave Dynamics
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Master/slave Rules & Insights Submitted by Others
Marcia
23 October 2020 at 11:17 am - Reply
Liliana - BDSM Rules
25 October 2020 at 9:50 pm - Reply
Peter
14 November 2020 at 3:16 am - Reply
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In BDSM, a Master/slave (M/s) relationship is a beautiful, cherished connection where one person transfers authority and power to the other. Master leads and slave obeys and follows. Such a lifestyle is founded on good communication, respect and earned trust.
The extent to which control is given will depend on the parties involved. Although, it can be controversial as to whether one may have limits and still refer to themselves as M/s. Regardless, especially in the beginning, it’s strongly advisable to set limits and boundaries and to communicate in detail about all issues.
Every dynamic will look different, depending on the needs and wants of those involved. Some may be only service oriented, without any sexual connection or kink activities whilst others may prefer more of a guidance type role, whether part time or 24/7.
Whatever your preferences, here are some rules and ideas you may like to consider.
Save your favorite rules to your “ Saved Rules List ” with the heart icon ♥
Here are some some quick rule ideas which have been submitted by others. If no name or title is mentioned, the person wished to remain anonymous.
Some are written in a formal way so you can simply add them to your contract or agreement if you have one. If not, use them for ideas any way you wish.
I use posture and dress codes, with hidden (or not) toys, clamps, etc.
It shows the pride My slave girl has to be her own self and serving me.
Protect the Property
Obey without Hesitation
Be Transparent
Live, Laugh, Love: Trust, Respect, Care
I believe in one rule, what I say is the last word! And any time we have lifestyle guest then everything is done in high protocol!
Master may expect sub to serve in public or private, alone or in front of others where such service is socially acceptable.
The appeal comes from the ability to spice things a little more than usual. To observe how far a sub will go to serve me, even in an indirect manner.
At home, slave is always to be naked or one layer of clothing and some form of collar.
Why: slave always knows her position.
Rule: His submissive will care for her/Their children above all else. She will see to their immediate needs and do her best to raise them to be kind, courteous and well mannered, as well as to be able to advocate for themselves in a respectful manner.
Why: Her duties and successes as a mother reflect not only upon her, but also upon her Master whom she takes pleasure in serving.
When I come home slave must always kneel before me and offer herself to me.
Rule 1 – The slave, as my property, is to take care of my property physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally at all times so as to be ready to serve at all times.
This rule supersedes all other instructions and rules, even those given by the Master.
Have times where slave can suggest or choose something for both Master and sub to do that she really wants and enjoys.
Again, it is important for the submissive to be happy.
Master’s expectations to be realistic so that slave can mostly achieve her duties or tasks.
MASTER MUST respect his sub. It’s nonsense the idea only the sub must respect her Dominant.
Jokes, sometimes, are more handy than shouts.
Anytime His submissive receives a swat to her ass she is to thank her Master and ask if she may have another please.
Since she is a masochist and enjoys the swats and spankings he gives, she is reminded of her place by having to express gratitude and request another every time.
I am restricted to monthly requests in writing for personal hygiene items, whatever I may need for the month.
Pushes me to plan ahead and reminds me that I am fully owned, Master is in control.
Our favorite rule is that the submissive (lillepusen) is to obey every single task on the “daily task schedule” to the best of her abilities.
She will also send a nude photo (or if instructed in clothes) while preforming her duties.
She is also to greet her Master in a sitting posture, naked, in the hallway upon His arrival.
On failure to do so, or not met her tasks, she will be severely punished, and Master chooses how, where and the duration of the punishment.
~ Master Pravum and submissive lillepusen
Master must be a Teacher, Protector and Mentor to slave /sub.
Slave must always be clean and shaved and pleasant smelling – perfumed.
Why: shows readiness for her Master to take her whenever he needs to or wants her.
Wear chastity device. Only free when used by Dominant.
Keep clean and tidy, ready to serve anytime.
Aim to be a 24/7 slave if possible.
slave is owned by Sir, which means He controls anything and she enjoys it or will learn to.
slave agrees to be used by Master, sexually and otherwise, in any manner He sees fit.
Having said that the submissive recognizes, and the Dominant agrees, that she is NOT a doormat and that there is a difference between use and abuse, and while the former is undertaken by choice as a way of pleasing Sir, and thereby bringing joy and happiness to slave, the latter is unacceptable.
slave recognizes and agrees that Master trains subs and slaves and there may come a time when He does so while the sub is under His patronage or while collared to Sir.
The submissive agrees to Master’s choice in training another slave and agrees to willfully participate in the training of such new sub to the level of hard limits described elsewhere herein.
My favorite thing has been the slave’s Veto.
I am the Master in our relationship and my slave has had abusive partners in the past.
Having a dynamic is something she has both want and need for but it has been difficult for her to trust anyone.
The Veto has been a powerful tool for making her feel safe and able to remain in control where it matters most.
Having access to the Veto has even made it possible for her to feel open and safe in other aspects of her life and was a crucial part for helping her heal.
Standby- A command I use for my girl to stand in the corner, nearby, attentive in case I need her.
KneelBy – Same as above, but in a kneeling position.
Purpose: sometimes she needs to be patient and pay attention to what I am doing, especially if I am preparing a scene. I want her to see and take note, but from a distance.
slave agrees to undertake massage training, particularly erotic massage, via short-term course, video training or other such training.
Erotic massage training assists in providing focus to the submissive in her ability to relax her Dom and further serve Him and bring joy to Him which in turn brings joy to her.
Secondarily, should the sub show affinity and talent in massage, Sir agrees to provide formal massage training via a school or other form of formal training to assist slave in obtaining her massage certification/licensing.
Such in-depth training further allows the sub in pleasuring her Dom and also provides for a means of earning income should Sir become ill or otherwise disabled.
The primary duty of this Submissive is to please.
I shall attend to every physical and emotional need of my Dominant.
I shall behave as HIS rock, plaything, sex slave, fuck- toy, lover, personal assistant, comforter always & forever, whenever needed physically and emotionally, remain loyal and honest, as well as wait on my Dominant as desired.
I shall always check on my Lord & Master Dominant periodically, approximately every 2.5-3 hours to see if HE wants me to please HIM or if HE wants to use me however HE wants.
I shall use any means to get HIS attention and present myself using erotic means so HE only sees me.
The Lord & Master Dominant has the ability to disrupt this time schedule whenever HE wants.
Reasoning – it is vitally important that your submissive not only knows their place, but they must appreciate what they learn to crave so much. It is a joyful service that they embark on. Selfless yet rewarding for both.
Master has final say on everything (final say on what we eat, what I wear, what I buy with my money even).
I am allowed to say what I’d like and why.
If I don’t add why I like my idea better than His then it’s His say and if I do say why I like my idea better than His I may or may not get what I wanted.
I like this rule because before I was in this relationship with my Master I’d always eventually hate most of my choices I made and now I don’t have to think of my many worries.
My Master worries for me and all I have to do is do as I’m told, no thinking.
Because I am a VERY Caring Dom/Master I INSIST on Rules that deal with the Health of My Slave. I make SURE She takes care of herself, takes her meds, Eats Correctly, Gets Enough Sleep, etc. but ALSO Enough LOVE and Comfort and Emotional Support!
I make sure she showers regularly, Shaves, Puts on Make-Up, because she is BEAUTIFUL and I want her to SEE and KNOW that at ALL TIMES and I want OTHERS to see that too!
When she LOOKS GOOD I KNOW She FEELS GOOD! And WANTS to take better care of herself! If SHE isn’t doing well… then I Don’t do well!
I also make it sort of a “Ritual” to shave her while she is Bound and Gagged, often Blind-folded as well, because in addition to the shaving I also tease her and “Edge” Her until she can’t stand it anymore! But she KNOWS She will ALWAYS be given HOT LOVE and made to CUM Over and Over again!
Her “TREAT” for Cumming as many times as I demand is My Cum for her to taste and enjoy. I’ve been told mine is sort of “Sweet” tasting?!
ALSO I am a Dom that MUST FIRST Have “LOVE” and “TRUST” and “EMOTIONAL SECURITY” before the BDSM/Master-Slave stuff begins!
With her day collar we have a rule. If the chain gets broken for any reason we have a conversation about our relationship and decide if we want to continue or end it. If we continue with our relationship we redo a whole new contract to our new preferences. Doing this I've noticed helps with building our communication.
This is very interesting. I like the ideas presented.
My relationship isn’t as formal, but I am completely devoted. Sir gave me a necklace 2 years ago. It is not a formal day collar, but I see it as such. I do not wear it ALL the time but most all. In August I was very stressed at work and working 12-15 hours 26 days in a row and I lost the necklace. I feel Part of me is missing. Even if a replacement is purchased it will not be the same.
Thank you for your kind words Marcia. I’m so sorry to hear about your necklace. I really hope it turns up for you soon…and I also hope you got to have a much deserved break.
One of the things that have been said is the need to talk, and I wholeheartedly agree. I remember many years ago, a slave asked why I wanted her naked around the home, my answer was that it would remind her of her slavery, but more importantly, as she was shaved down below, I found her beautiful and loved looking at her. She accepted this.
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Ideas & Inspiration for Power Exchange Relationships
BDSM Rules and Ideas for Punishment
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Punishment Rules & Insights Submitted by Others
alldevo
6 July 2020 at 5:06 pm - Reply
rebeccakarenina
13 July 2020 at 8:58 pm - Reply
Larry Woeller
18 February 2021 at 5:17 pm - Reply
Ron
14 June 2021 at 5:23 pm - Reply
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Oooh, punishment! It is possibly the most exciting, yet quite misunderstood aspect of power exchange relationships.
Before getting into rules and ideas, it’s important to highlight what this tactic actually is and when it’s appropriate to use it:
Punishment is a tool that may be used for discipline and training of a submissive or slave.
There is a difference between discipline and punishment.
Discipline is the umbrella term that involves training a submissive to carry out tasks and holding themselves exactly the way the Dominant expects using tools such as rewards, correction, and punishment.
Since any type of D/s relationship involves some type of service or submission, you could say that discipline (training a sub) is a must within any power exchange dynamic, whereas retribution is completely optional.
Disciplinary action in this context is not something hot or sexy. It is used in order to deter bad behavior .
The type of punishment used may be positive in nature (adding adverse stimuli such as inflicting pain or corner time) or negative (taking away positive stimuli such as privileges and toys).
You don’t need to incorporate penalties in order to have a satisfying D/s relationship. It is completely optional . Some people cannot tolerate being punished so it may be a hard limit for them.
This should be discussed before entering into any dynamic.
If chastisement is an essential tool for a Dominant, they may not be wanting to dabble with a sub who imposes this as a hard limit.
What can you use instead? Or in addition to negative consequences? Rewards (positive reinforcement) provide an effective incentive to be good, obey, or to change behavior.
No punishment should ever be administered without first negotiating. It’s best to specify and agree in detail what penalties are allowed at the outset of the relationship or dynamic.
Potential sanctions are not just limited to spanking. It can be anything that the sub does not enjoy; a consequence to teach them a lesson .
It is done for an intended purpose, not for fun or enjoyment (as opposed to “funishment”).
Typically, neither the Dom nor the sub will actually enjoy punishing the submissive. It may however help a sub alleviate feelings of guilt associated with disappointing a Dominant and therefore act as a cathartic event.
In this way, you can even play out that it’s a privilege for the s-type and make them beg for forgiveness and to be punished for a contravention.
Non-corporeal examples such as corner time, writing lines etc. are very effective tools at your disposal (subject to consent of course).
Whatever tool is used, consistency is key.
Compare the above to a scene – where spanking, caning, or some other impact play is an enjoyable experience for both parties. In this case, it shouldn’t be referred to as “punishment”. You are not punishing the sub for something they’ve done. Instead, it is negotiated play; a scene for enjoyment . Your sub shouldn’t feel like they’ve done something wrong when you’re just engaging in s/m play.
Funishment (the fun kind of punishment) is a sort of mock retribution. It’s fun to use when you are playing around with each other and the Dominant asserts themselves in a frolicsome way.
Being playful and poking fun at your Dominant is completely different from openly defying their authority .
So, for example, when I’m given an order that I don’t really want to do, sometimes I’ll jokingly pout and show my displeasure at the task in a way that’s fun and lighthearted but will always follow through with commands . When I pout and comply, for us, it reinforces Sir’s authority. It makes Sir feel like, “yep, I’ve still got it. I can still make her do things that she doesn’t really want to do and she’ll obey”.
Mucking around like this may not be acceptable to other Dominants so be sure to talk about the type of power exchange you are both seeking.
Here are some rules and ideas for punishment within a power exchange relationship:
Save your favorite rules to your “ Saved Rules List ” with the heart icon ♥
Here are some some quick rule ideas for behavior training in D/s relationships.
They are written in a formal way so you can simply add them to your contract or agreement if you have one. If not, use them for ideas any way you wish.
Immediately prior to (or following) punishment, the Dominant shall explain to the submissive why he’s being punished.
Before using punishment, the submissive will be given a chance to “get out of jail free” if she makes the Dominant laugh.
Master may in his absolute discretion postpone any punishment to a later time or date. slave will always be informed of an impending punishment and its reasons.
The Dominant will never punish when angry or in the heat of the moment.
If need be, the Dominant may take a step back from the situation to collect themselves for a few hours or even days.
The sub shall be advised of the Dominant’s feelings and intentions of punishment. (Plus, anticipation adds to the severity/intensity of the impending punishment).
After punishment has been administered, the Dominant will have a conversation with the submissive to make sure they are okay and that they understand why punishment took place.
If in at any time, slave feels she is being punished unfairly, she shall advise Master immediately.
Master shall then take the time to assess whether:
(a) slave was advised of the rule she has breached; and
(b) whether Master’s instructions were clear enough in the circumstances.
Where the submissive commits a breach outside of the Dominant’s presence or knowledge, the sub shall confess such transgression to the dominant without delay and shall await the Dominant’s decision for punishment.
The Dominant shall take into consideration the severity of the crime together with the period of time that has elapsed between the time of the breach to the time of confession.
The parties agree to create a list of allowable punishments. When punishment is warranted, the Dom will always keep negotiated limits and allowable punishments in mind when creating a punishment for the sub.
Within 48 hours of receiving punishment, the submissive will write a journal entry about the breach of rules (from the time the contravention occurred to now writing the journal).
The journal entry will be handed over to the Dominant within the 48 hours, who will then read it and arrange for a loving and tender conversation with the submissive.
Once the parties have finalized a punishment event, through discussion, journaling and closure, neither the breach nor the act of punishment may be raised for discussion other than for constructive reasons.
Constructive reasons include requesting changes to the current dynamic or relationship rules.
I keep track of the number of spankings in a notebook she has the responsibility to keep.
If she funny, pleasing, … or some other nice reason, I add one.
But, if she is bratty or has done something bad, I remove a certain number of spankin
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