Bdsm Protocols

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Bdsm Protocols

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BDSM protocol is all about behaviors. In BDSM, it can be used in so many different ways that it can be difficult to understand or grasp, but protocol can be very valuable and rewarding. So what is it? Let’s find out.
Protocol is a predetermined way for one to behave in a specific time, place, or occasion.
There are three different levels/types of protocol: low protocol , medium protocol , and high protocol . These levels set the expected formality for a designated time, place, or occasion.
Invisible protocols are all about discretion in a vanilla place or around vanilla people, including kids. They are discreetly being active in your dynamic, even in places where other people are unaware of the power exchange between you and your partner. A specific discreet honorific can also be assigned and used in the place of your usual one.
It could be as simple as the submissive wearing an article of clothing or color that the Dominant picked out. Or it could be the submissive waiting for the Dominant to begin to eat before they do. Another example may be walking behind the Dominant and letting the Dominant open the door. The submissive then walks through the doorway and steps to the side. They wait for the Dominant to enter before they fall back in line behind the Dominant. (The reason for this is that the Dominant is the first one to greet someone. Also, if someone were to approach and ask something, they are the one who is presented with the question or choice, instead of the submissive.)
Protocols help determine and set the expected level of formality, and they keep everyone’s expectations on the same page. Protocols also help distinguish power exchange even outside of a scene.
Protocols can be used anywhere, any time, and any place as long as the protocols are negotiated before and agreed upon. Don’t forget a safeword should be used if a protocol threatens a limit you may have.
Negotiate and discuss all protocols. Negotiate and discuss when, where, and how long all protocols are expected to be followed. Do not assume one knows what is expected. Communicate , communicate, communicate.
Some people enjoy the expectations and challenges of high protocol so much that they incorporate some of the higher protocol behaviors into their everyday dynamic.
To add high protocol elements to a dynamic, you can incorporate permissions, like needing to get permission from the Dominant before completing an action, for example, furniture permissions or bathroom permissions. Ask permission before being able to sit in a chair or on a piece of furniture. Ask permission before using the restroom. (Set up a fail-safe with this. I.e., If no response within 5 mins of asking, assume permission has been granted. Also, do not participate in this protocol if any existing medical conditions that affect the bladder exist.) You can set up permissions for many things: getting dressed, getting into bed, eating or drinking, entering a room, or even asking for another spanking, etc.
Other Hp dynamic elements can include etiquette expectations. For example, the submissive gets the Dominant a drink. When they bring the Dominant their drink, they are expected to lower their eyes, bend at the waist in a bow, and extend the drink towards the Dominant while waiting for them to take the drink. I’ve also seen this action altered to have the submissive kneel, lower their eyes, and extend the drink towards the Dominant. 
High protocol dynamics should be discussed thoroughly and negotiated and renegotiated often. I’ve seen instances where people who enjoy the idea of high protocol have tried to incorporate it into their dynamic and struggle with it because it’s too demanding. So make sure you communicate what you struggle with regarding HP.
If it’s regarding a BDSM event, the event will state high protocol if high protocol is expected. As far as medium protocol, I’d advise that if no protocol is listed for an event, go with medium protocol.
If it’s regarding a dynamic, then it’s the Dominant’s responsibility to make sure the submissive understands what kind of protocol is expected for when, where, and how long.
It’s important to add that you might not like some of the examples I’ve listed, but you may still enjoy high protocol. The protocol that your dynamic takes part in is up to you and your partner(s).
High protocol is a fantastic way to help maintain roles and power exchange. As well as helping one know what’s expected when and where. Don’t let the facade of high protocol scare you away from implementing elements into your dynamic. It might be exactly what you need. And remember, be kinky and stay curious!
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leathermate
on 7 September 2021 at 20:25


LeatherBigWolf
on 8 September 2021 at 08:57


Scott
on 14 September 2021 at 22:10


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What are BDSM Protocols and why are they so important? Is it a buzz word in the community, or does people understand what do they stand for and their importance ? In this series of articles we will explore the basics in Verbal, Behavioral, Postural and Gear Protocol.
BDSM Protocols vary depending on the situation, and they are divided in three stages or level of Protocol. You can find out more in the article “ Levels of Protocol in BDSM “.
Let’s start off with what are Protocols and the difference between Protocol and Etiquette .
Protocols are more situational and specific to action . They regulate the way to speak , to sit , to stand , to execute certain routine jobs, and so on.
Protocols are divided into a set of basic and ground Protocols that actually consist in the very fabric that Leather life is made of, in the actions, and then into a set of personal Protocols that a Master might have in His Household, as an example His own set of House Rules. His House Rules are unique to His own Leather Family.
An example of Protocol is “When the slave gets home, slave needs to fully undress, fold its clothing and store them properly, and then wait on Kneel Down Position for Master’s inspection or Orders”.
Etiquettes in Leather and BDSM are a set of rules that apply to everybody , and are especially important to interact in harmony amongst different Leather families, clubs, groups and individuals. They are affected and reflect cultures, backgrounds and situations.
Etiquettes are about “ good manners ” between Dom, between men, between Leathermen in general.
An example of Etiquette is the custom of calling each other “Sir” even amongst Masters and Sirs.
Now that we have a clearer understanding of the difference between BDSM Protocols and Etiquette, let’s spend a few words on the why of Protocols. If you’ve been reading frequently the articles on our website, you’ll know that we particularly care about the why of things.
Protocols create and guarantee a framework that doesn’t have to do with a reduction of freedom for kinksters; they are simply natural consequences of the power dynamics between Domination and submission, hardcoded through generations of BDSM relationships. Protocols and Etiquette give a physical form and expression to the mutual feelings of being part of a lifestyle which is regulated by actions, meanings and agreements that make our experience real and made out of connection.
Protocols will feel good and relieving for those who genuinely align to Leather lifestyle and serious BDSM, which means to people who need to feel that their feelings about Domination and submissions reflect in real life in every moment , not just necessarily in the playroom.
Protocols will feel like a nuisance or a threat to people who are less likely to be genuine about BDSM, or to those who have little to no experience in this lifestyle.
At this point of your journey, you will have noticed that verbal expression (be it written or vocal ) is pretty important in BDSM and Leather. Submissives tend to call Dominants “ Sir “, and Dominants tend to call submissives “ boy ” (this happens much more lately, where there is an leveling and simplification of verbal protocols, due to leather and kink becoming popular and lived often as a social game).
But verbal expression Protocols vary much more than that, and they are fundamental to any serious and experienced BDSM person who wants quality connections. Verbal Protocols are extremely important, especially written ones , and here comes why. Good Form is Discipline , and Discipline requires commitment and effort; commitment and effort equal to Respect. It’s a form of Respect that as stated in the article “ Should you call a stranger SIR? ” doesn’t just have to do with your partner, it mainly has to do with the respect you have for yourself.
To make it short, you’re not just showing respect to your partner’s identity; you’re also honoring your own identity in the process . Regardless of the fact that you might know well or just want to get to know the person you’re talking to, you should always display a good form in the way you express yourself . This is paramount, as an example, if you are a submissive looking for a Master . That shows you honor your partner and first of all you honor your identity, which proves that you believe in it, which indicates that you might be a serious and experienced person to engage with .
Just like speaking and writing in a specific way is part of a base set of widely recognized Protocols in Leather and BDSM, also the way you behave will say a lot about your self consciousness on your role , and how seriously you believe in who you are.
This list of behavioral Protocols apply both to Dominants and submissives, as technically a younger Dominant should honor and Respect hierarchy towards an older Dominant or Master (something of course you don’t get to see a lot these days, thanks of a younger generation who has completely lost the value of respect of elders). So lets start from this:
Another very important aspect of behavioral Protocol in BDSM and Leather lifestyle is posture. The way you stand and position your body also speaks to the Dominants are you and qualifies not only your identity, but your adherence to your beliefs. Once again, this will immediately qualify you as a more reliable submissive than any gear you could buy.
There are several other body positions commands and Protocols that apply to High Protocol, but they wont’ be discussed here as this is material for a different article.
Sir Lupus displaying a Full Informal Present kneel Position
Protocols affect and reflect your identity also in the way you dress (and you don’t dress) in public, private and High Protocol Situations. Nowadays there is a widely spread idea that the gear we wear is simply a commercial item that you buy when you want to hope for a different cock to hunt in the next circuit event. Truly though, for people who care about it, gear has a a specific meaning and symbology, and determined Protocols apply to it.
SIR, thank YOU for taking the time and trouble to post another very helpful blog – it is much appreciated by this slave, SIR.
SIR, this slave is very motivated to Submit and Serve by adherence to the strict protocols and etiquette YOU have set out – they help this slave feel it is part of the LEATHER BDSM Community and makes sure it is ALWAYS mindful of its own status in the hierarchy as well as the respect its Superiors deserve and must always receive from it, SIR.
SIR, this slave always wants to show a MASTER that HE comes first in everything, both large and seemingly small, this helps this slave supress its ego, shows the Respect due to a LEATHER MASTER and signals to other MASTERS that it takes its submission seriously, SIR.
SIR this slave is very aware that everything it does must indicate its desire to Submit and Serve and adopting the correct and acceptable posture is an import element in this which it must always keep to the front of its mind so that, when in the presence of a MASTER, it never forgets its slave status and signals it understands the Superiority of its LEATHER MASTER, and this slaves Obedience to HIM, SIR.
SIR, an important aspect of this slave’s status is making its body, as well as its mind, is ready to be of use to its LEATHER MASTER at all times and a central aspect of this is making sure that its fuck hole is always ready to take its MASTER’S Cock which is a privilege and an honour, SIR
Fantastic commend from you as usual slave. You will make a lucky Master very happy. Keep working like this, I’m proud of you!
Buonasera, bellissimo articolo, ed ancora una volta, mi sono stupito del come mai io già tante cose del protocollo le sappia senza che nessuno mi abbia addestrato ancora.
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My name is Sköll and I’m LeatherBigWolf’s Leather boy in Training. In this article I talk about my fear of Bondage and how Sir helped me out of it.

Protocol, Rules, and Rituals in BDSM
In all social contexts, there is a more or less pronounced code of conduct. In a power-shift relationship, the code of conduct can be clarified with rules.
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Ideas & Inspiration for Power Exchange Relationships


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Whether you’re into kink, power exchange, dominant and submissive relationships, Master/slave dynamics, 24/7 total power exchange or any other type of BDSM interaction, rules play a vital part in keeping your interactions safe and fun.
BDSM Rules refers to any agreed-upon regulation, which governs conduct or protocol (how a party must behave or respond) in a particular circumstance. Rules may be written or verbal.
They can cover anything from daily rituals and chores within D/s dynamics to preconditions, safe words, limits and aftercare for a kink play scene. Consent is a huge part of developing and enforcing rules in BDSM dynamics, even in Master slave relationships.
Even though to the outside eye, it appears the D-type (the person in charge) is making all the rules in a healthy dynamic or scene, all rules have been pre-negotiated, even if via blanket consent (not recommended for beginners).
Having rules provides multiple benefits, including:
The first step to instituting rules within your power exchange relationship is to first think about what you would each like from the arrangement. What aspects are you willing to give control over? When will the power imbalance apply? Then, discuss all the possibilities with your proposed partner.
It helps to have your rules in writing, so you can see everything that’s been agreed to. The easiest way to do this is to draw up some kind of agreement or use a BDSM Contract.
Once you’ve come to an agreement and have set a commencement date, you may like to have some kind of “commencement ceremony” to signify the start. It will help you get into the mindset and step into your roles.
Unless you’ve experienced the type of interaction before, there is no sure way to know whether you’ll enjoy a certain rule or not. Fantasy can be deceiving and can end up being very different from reality.
The only way to know is to implement the rule and see how it feels. Do you enjoy it? Does it deepen your power exchange? Does it help you follow through with your goals? This is where check-ins are important.
You can set yourself a time (perhaps once a week?) to discuss how you’re feeling about certain rules and to propose any changes you’d like to make or remove some rules altogether. Don’t feel bad if a rule you deeply yearned for ends up being not what you expected. It happens all the time. Having the ability to communicate and adapt is what will keep your relationship strong and meaningful.
In addition to check-ins, daily journaling is also highly recommended. This is different from keeping a diary. A journal is used to express how you felt throughout the day as opposed to just listing things you’ve done. When a submissive presents their daily (honest) thoughts to the Dominant partner, the Dom is able to get insights to tweaking rules to suit the dynamic.
Without enforcement, there’s not much point in having rules. If a rule is broken and goes unnoticed or unpunished, this will ultimately lead to the demise of the power exchange.
In general, there are three ways to inspire observance: warning, punishment and incentives.
For a beginner sub, a newly introduced requirement or a minor infraction you may consider simply correcting the sub or giving a warning.
A repeat offence may warrant compelling observance using agreed methods of punishment such as spanking, corner time or denial of privileges.
Rewards are a great way of offering an incentive for compliance and balancing the negative emotional effects which may be associated with punishment. If a sub is only ever punished and never rewarded, there’s not much motivation to be or continue being a “good” submissive. Rewards can be anything enjoyed by the s-type such as gifts, massages or even just time with the Dominant partner.
In a very general sense, these are some common types of rules you can create:
Protocols – these are rules that govern how the slave is to behave or react in a given situation. For example, if the sub is approached by another person in a flirtatious way, what are the steps they must take (if any)?
Rituals – within a power exchange dynamic, you can set up rituals for special repeat events and stipulate what protocols are to apply before, during and after the ritual. For example, rituals for Master coming home, morning coffee, dinner, inspections or preparations for outings.
Etiquette – polite and appropriate behavior such as eating at the table or using “please” and “thank you”.
Chores – routine tasks assigned to the submissive such as house cleaning, cooking dinner, running errands.
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