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Panda Gossips > Love & Relationships > Rules & Definition Of A Dominant Submissive Relationship
Definition of a dominant-submissive relationship
What is a dominant-submissive relationship all about?
Do dominant-submissive relationships really work?
The 10 rules of a dominant-submissive relationship
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A dominant-submissive relationship rules and answers to know


Dominant-submissive (D/s or Dom/sub) is part of a broader category referred to as BDSM. D/s is all about power as opposed to the physical sensation involved in BDSM. If you are in a D/s relationship you either submit to your partner or dominate them psychologically.

In short, one partner dominates the other because he/she has more power in the relationship. Most people like this type of relationship because of the dynamic power involved. In today’s culture, sex and power are mixed together and that’s why most women fall for more powerful men, while men fantasize about being powerful and therefore irresistible.

First and foremost, a Dom/sub relationship is an energy dynamic between two partners. The Dominant leads, guides, and protects the submissive. The submissive is the baby girl or servant who pleases the dominant. Most D/s partners limit their dynamic to sexual activities but the truth is the relationship may be applied in interesting ways beyond sex. For instance, the dominant can create a simple rule for the submissive such as asking for permission to go out on weekends.
The dynamic may as well be a set of strict rules and complex responsibilities that make the dominant feel more in control of the body and mind of the submissive. But do not confuse the Dom/sub relationship for a master/slave setting. D/s is a lifestyle. If someone tells you they are in a Dom/sub relationship, you should know that their life, especially the sex aspect of it, entails power play. Such partners may switch their roles as they please - a man can dominate for a while and then become submissive at some point.

In most cases, the D/s relationship happens occasionally in pre-arranged scenes which don’t have to always involve sex. Those pre-arranged scenes are about power exchange. For instance, if the woman is the submissive partner, she can give her man a massage, serve him food, and take any order from him. The dominant partner can sometimes restrain the submissive one or discipline them. Different couples play different power-based roles e.g. pirate and captive; teacher and student; or a cop and a criminal. 
Some partners can maintain their power dynamic for longer periods of time such as during a holiday while others take on a long-term arrangement (one is dominant and the other is submissive throughout their lifetime). These couples live a completely normal human life; their relationships are not really different from the rest.
There are people who just love to dominate while others prefer being submissive. So, yes, D/s relationships work for such people. If both parties are in the relationship willingly, it means that there will be no conflicts as far as power is concerned.

But like any other relationships, one D/s may work differently than another D/s. The only common thing about the relationships is that there is a dominant and a submissive partner. The D/s flavor is naturally determined by the specific individual you are partnering with.

The core of a Dom/sub relationship is the fact that the dominant takes full control of everything. Note that domination involves taking and not giving so the dominant expects to be pleased in whatever way they like by the submissive. Basically, the dominant expects nothing short of obedience. The summed up roles of domination include:

1. Taking responsibilities
2. Being in full control
3. Prioritizing their desires and choices
4. Performing duties to their submissive partner
5. Demanding compliance and obedience
The submissive delights in submitting to their partners. Their joy is not all about being dominated in bed; their fundamental desire is to please their dominant. The ideal definition of a submissive partner is the one who elevates their partner’s needs above theirs. As the submissive, you may not like the idea of being punished but it doesn’t mean you will resist it. You accept another human being's control over you in a variety of ways, such as complying with your dominant’s demands in bed. Sometimes, you will not give your opinions until your dominant states theirs. Basically, these are the roles of the submissive:

1. Elevating the desires of the dominant above theirs
2. Accepting to be controlled
3. Expressing the desire to please the dominant
This is something everyone who is interested in Dom/sub relationship wants to know. First of all, there are no hard or fast rules; the partners create their own principles regarding what to comply with, what to avoid, and how to enforce the rules. The whole D/s concept is based on a set of standards, some of which are deep-rooted in the power dynamic, and the rest are implemented as reactions to the dynamic.

If you are considering a Dom/sub relationship, you must understand first the objectives of these rules so you don’t commit ignorant blunders. Here come the D/s rules.

This is the groundwork for any trusting relationship. If you close the doors to open communication, it won’t work as expected. You must talk about the fundamentals before you delve into a D/s relationship. The key factors you must discuss include health, sexual needs, boundaries, likes/dislikes, and experiences. Your partner is not a mind-reader so you need to speak up about your expectations, contracts, and rules. Continued communication is what will keep the relationship moving.

Make time to discuss issues freely and learn how to read your partners signals or safe words. Honest dynamic and interaction go a long way. For instance, if you are the dominant type and want to push the limits of your submissive, you will require particular information to understand her boundaries. The only way you can understand their limits is through effective communication. You want to exercise power in a positive and constructive manner. So, more information will enable you to accomplish your roles better. To get the right information, you need to be honest as you interact with your partner.
If you are the dominant partner, always leave your submissive begging for more rather than making them wish you hadn’t gone an extra mile. For this matter, let it be clear as far as your fantasies are concerned so you can determine what is practical or not. Not all the BDSM films can be put into practice; you don’t need to copy all of them.

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