Bdsm Interview

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Bdsm Interview
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a submissive? Or what is would feel like to be at the complete mercy of another?
Well, Ms Nighteyes, a 30-year-old submissive from Melbourne, Victoria, knows first hand. Her story is fascinating and is the first in a series of interviews I’m conducting to get a glimpse into the taboo and often misunderstood world of BDSM. (You can find the interview with her Dominant here! )
Hello Ms Nighteyes, it’s great to meet you! You are truly living one of my fantasies. Now, my goal here is to give all the interested folk out there a sneaky peek into the world of slaves and masters, aka submissives and dominants.
So firstly, can you describe your sexuality?
I am a bisexual, polyamorous (nonmonogamous) woman. I see polyamory as a part of my sexual identity, not just a relationship style choice.
Now that I am engaging in BDSM and have a better understanding of my identity, a lot of things in my past (as early as puberty) now “make sense”. I was only able to engage in the practice actively 18 months ago after ending a long-term monogamous/vanilla relationship. It was something that I wanted to explore for quite a while. I was in a short term relationship with a man who said he would be willing to give BDSM a go. The one scene we role-played was enough for me to seek out an experienced dominant and begin the journey.
How many dominants/masters do you have at the moment?
I only have one Dominant and I prefer it that way. I don’t personally feel like I can offer my all and fully submit to more than one person at a time.
How do you address your master and how long have you been in a relationship with him for?
I call him Daddy and we’ve been in a relationship for 8 months.
Hehe I like it! And are you in a relationship outside of BDSM?
I am in two relationships at the moment. One is with my Dominant, the other with a Switchy male who takes on a submissive role within our dynamic relationship. I have recently found that vanilla relationships no longer satisfy me since exploring my kinks, so I don’t know that I could ever have another relationship outside of BDSM.
Do all your BDSM sessions end in sex?
I’ve had BDSM sessions as a Dominant that do not end in sex. They have had a focus on rope, sensation or impact play (smacking of the skin) without it being sexual. My BDSM sessions with Daddy are generally always sexual in nature.
Is pain always a part of your sessions, and do you enjoy pain?
I’m a masochist, so I enjoy playing with pain, but it’s only one type of play in BDSM. Not all submissives are masochists, and not all Dominants are sadists. We tend to do some level of spanking at least in our sessions, but a structured impact play scene doesn’t happen as often. When it does, it’ll often be a spanking, belt, flogger or cane (if I’m being punished because I don’t like the cane). I think you’re either masochistic or not. You should never aim to “get used to” something if it’s not a type of play that is satisfying or appealing to you. For me, I go into subspace during impact, and it is very cathartic.
Have you had any formal training? Like in Shibari for example.
I have not taken formal training or classes in any areas of dominance, but I’m looking forward to Shibari classes after our local COVID lockdowns ease. I have been using online resources to learn Shibari until I can join a class in person.
Do you have a dungeon in your home?
Do your family and friends know about this side of you?
I have a handful of friends that know about my engagement in BDSM but more so about me being polyamorous. I have hinted to a couple of my immediate family members about kink, and they have been supportive.
What’s the biggest misconception about BDSM, and what you do?
The first thing that comes to mind was when I told some friends about the lifestyle, their first reaction was, “What, like 50 Shades of Grey?” And follow up questions like, “What do you wear? Is it leather and latex like the movies?”. There has been a big misconception in my personal experience of people only imagining the “dungeon BDSM” aesthetic and imagining that it’s largely about costume, whips and chains. I have to explain to them what things actually look like in a 24/7 D/s dynamic and how much of it is in fact, the psychological side of things, not the physical.
Can you elaborate on that for me? Tell me about a typical night or weekend with Daddy?
I don’t think there is such a thing as a “normal” encounter with Daddy, as each session is so different. Play is often the first thing we do when we are together, followed by ample aftercare. In the evening, we might watch a movie together with Him sitting on the couch, and me collared, sitting on the floor at His feet. In the morning one of our routines is that I make and serve Him His morning coffee in bed.
Describe your relationship with your Daddy? Are you in love with him?
Daddy and I do not live together, but we are in a 24/7 dynamic relationship. We are polyamorous, and each has other partners. I am His owned submissive. I am his alpha submissive. The terminology we use for that is that I am “His Luna” which relates to wolves and the title of the alpha female in the pack. We have a conventional relationship in terms of being partners who date and do regular, vanilla things, but our sub/Dom dynamic is always present. I do love my Daddy very much. Some might say I am “obsessed” with Him.
Do you trust Daddy unconditionally?
I tend to see Daddy one or two nights a week, and we play every time we are together.
When my relationship ended with my first dominant, I was telling a friend about it and said (half in jest), “You don’t know any good Doms, do you?” and she said that she did and put us in contact with each other.
I am very much an experimentalist, so I don’t have a lot of hard limits. I feel like I’d be willing to try just about anything to personally experience it and decide if I liked it. The couple of things I draw the line at (currently) are scat play, needle play, blood play and vomit.
I am actually a Switch! (A Switch is someone that alternates between being submissive and Dominant.) When I first started exploring BDSM, I thought I was wholly a submissive. It wasn’t until some group play with another female submissive that I discovered some my switchiness. Daddy noticed it and pointed it out to me. We explored it some more in group settings, and Daddy provided opportunities for me to experiment with my Dominant side. I now have two relationships with submissive types.
What is your favourite BDSM activity?
I am a masochist, so I thoroughly enjoy impact play. You can’t really beat an OTK (Over The Knee) spanking or a good flogging. I do enjoy rope play (from both the Dom and sub side). I recently got to experience a day of TPE (Total Power Exchange) with Daddy, and we did some furniture training for the first time. I adored the experience of being His table, shelf and footstool.
Lucky Daddy! Do you two ever have vanilla sex?
No! In our 24/7 dynamic as two people that identify as kinky, we don’t really have a kink “off switch”. We ARE kinky, not just people who do kinky things or have kinky sex. Even when we do seemingly vanilla things, the dynamic between us is always present and tangible. It makes all sex kinky because no matter what, it’s sex with my Daddy.
I’m a highly sexual person, but I’m also pretty demisexual in that I can’t express those urges with just any old person. I need to have a strong connection with them. I don’t think I have an off-switch when it comes to Daddy. In fact, it’s in my Rules that I will always be available for His use.
Blue. It’s one that Daddy and I use. We use the traffic light system in play (Green = everything is ok, Yellow = pause and check-in required, Red = stop the scene, begin aftercare). Blue is a signal that we’d like to step outside of our dynamic roles to discuss something. It can be called in a scene, but we have also used it out of scenes to signal that we need to have an important conversation. This is especially important for us in a 24/7 dynamic.
How active are you in the community?
I like to attend kink events when they are running. It’s something I really look forward to after our lockdowns end. There is a fantastic local Shibari event that runs in a bar each month, plus a monthly kink event at a club that I enjoy going to. I also have a kinky Instagram account (@ms_nighteyes) that I post on daily. I have connected with so many people through my account that it feels like its own little online kink community.
Most peoples ideas of this world will come from 50 Shades of Grey. What did you think of that portrayal?
I liked that it introduced the world of kink to so many people who may never have otherwise looked into it. The movie itself is filled with ethical flaws and cringeworthy moments when you are knowledgeable about the lifestyle. Points for trying?
So what is your favourite portrayal of a BDSM relationship then?
I really loved the movie “Secretary”. Like 50 shades, there are very clear consent issues, but it is heartwarming to watch two people discovering their kink identities within their connection.
I have a long list of kinks and types of play that I enjoy. My main ones would be impact, rope, DDLG (Daddy Dom/little girl) and breeding.
What’s the craziest thing that’s happened to you whilst BDSM’ing?
I can’t think of anything too “crazy”, but a fun little moment that comes to mind was when Daddy enforced a protocol that I had to drop to my knees in a bar until He gave me permission to return to my seat. The wait staff came over to ask me to return to my seat, and I remember looking at Him and asking him if I was allowed to.
So you gave them a great story to tell! What inspires you in the BDSM world?
Something that continues to inspire me is when I see people embracing their kinks, rejecting shame and exploring a side of themselves that has lay undiscovered or repressed for so long. It takes bravery to step into the lifestyle if your environment hasn’t been an overly sex-positive one.
What resources would you recommend to newcomers?
There are so many great books to read, podcasts to listen to and accounts to follow to find educational and kink supportive content. I think an important thing to find first is a community of like-minded people who can help guide you as you explore. Never underestimate the power of a mentor relationship with someone more experienced.
And lastly, what advice would you have for anyone looking to get into the scene?
Do your research, read, talk to real-life people living the lifestyle, network, focus on introspection, self-discovery and growth. BDSM, in practice, has the power to reshape the way you view gender roles, power exchange, communication in relationships, sex and so much more. Take things slow and enjoy the ride!
Thanks for your time today. It’s been a real eye-opener, and I’m sure it’s made our readers a touch jealous.
You can follow Ms Nighteyes on here @ms_nighteyes To read the follow up interview with her Dominant, click here!
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Interview With Suzy – Dr. Lomp’s BDSM Model

Q: What is your real name?
A: Suzy is real, but my last name is other of course.


Q: How old are you, what is your profession, how do you spend your weekdays?
A: I am 22 years old; I work as a nurse in a hospital. I spend my evenings in a go-go bar as a dancer. On my day off I spend time with my friends and hobbies.


Q: What are your hobbies?
A: I love arts, such as music, painting and the process of creation itself. In my free time I go to concerts and tryouts. In addition I read a lot.


Q: What would you like to work with in the future, what skills do you have?
A: I would love to take up psychology or something human-centered. I speak German, English; also I would like to learn Russian. In the last few years I played in several bands and participated in the creation of some musical web-pages. I also love to write album reviews, interview bands, shoot pictures on concerts. Sometimes I organize them also, alongside with festivals. I love to help amateur bands improve (giving them tips about their album and artwork). Lately I began to write blogs, give fashion tips and keep myself updated in these matters. I am planning to write a book, mainly about myself because a lot of cool stuff happened to me that might interest others.


Q: When did you start acting? Do you play in other type of movies?
A: I believe I started 3 years ago. I never acted in other genre films-and never will. I am only interested in BDSM.


Q: Why only BDSM?
A: Why not? I am asked a lot about this, but it is hard to explain exactly. You have to experience it. For me this love started when I was a child. Obviously I did not do this to pleasure myself but I remember I bit myself a lot and tried different methods to cause minor pains to myself. I always got involved in fights at the kindergarten. To be honest I fear pain and the punishment hurts a lot but the desire to please my Lord end the spiritual freedom afterwards always worth the pain.


Q: What is a shooting like? Are you girls afraid before it starts? Personally, are you nervous?
A: The shooting requires a lot of preparation from both the staff and us. In the morning, when I arrive to the shooting I listen music, talk to the other girls, in general I am calm. When I have to sit down for the make-up I become noticeably strained, until it is done. After that I get calm again because I absolutely trust my Lord and I know he would never cross the line. Although I get furious when the other girls whine and get nervous. Long ago I was whiny too but I got used to the action.


Q: These strange marks and the tattoos are real?
A: Of course. They define who I am and are part of my life. I will have more tattoos.


Q: What can you tell us about your personal life?
A: Well, I am single. For now I don’t want to change that. A relationship requires a lot of time and energy and I am not ready for that kind of commitment.


Q: What kind of guys do you like? From which movie star do you melt away?
A: No question, I love dominant guys. I don’t care much about the looks but he has to have a strong and powerful presence. I love guys who do not take no as an answer and know how to do whatever they want with me but does not treat me like an object. It is hard to find a guy like this. I don’t melt away from movie starts easily. As a child I fell in love with the front man of Red Hot Chili Peppers. Later he grew a mustache and the pink cloud flew away.


Q: Will the community see you in new movies?
A: Yes I plan to play in more movies. For now I would like to stay on the side-lines, playing as supporting actor. I’ll tell you a secret: I am planning a huge comeback. I leave the rest to your imagination.


Q: Is there anything in particular that you would like to try in BDSM?
A: There is a lot, I couldn’t list them all. I would like to develop my skills, endure more pain. For now my goal is to let others punish me besides my Lord. It is not as easy as it might sound because it is hard to accept others. Additionally lately I am interested in needles and knives. Once you start BDSM, you have to be careful. You have to have someone you can trust and who cares about you because after a while you become greedy, you starve for more. In times like this an experienced partner is a must.


Q: Would you accept a “blind date” for the right sum? The kind where you wait for your torturer naked (whom you choose) who can torture you for a limited time without a safe word?
A: I would do that with one person only. This is not about the money but the trust. I have some fears about bounding it is a very vulnerable condition. If you take away the sense of safety by removing the safe word it can lead to panic quickly. In these situations good communication is a must, even without words. All you need is one glimpse and you know all will be fine.

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