Bdsm Good Girl

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Bdsm Good Girl
By Gigi Engle Published: Dec 30, 2020
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Gigi Engle is a writer, certified sexologist, sex coach, and sex educator. Her work regularly appears in many publications including Brides, Marie Claire, Elle Magazine, Teen Vogue, Glamour and Women's Health.
This content is imported from OpenWeb. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.
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The terms means something completely different in BDSM than in real life.
In real life, if someone called you a “brat,” that would be super not OK. You’d probably call them a dick and walk away. But in BDSM, being a brat has different implications.
One of the things that makes BDSM play so much fun is the ability to take on roles or personalities that might be opposite or exaggerated versions of who you are in real life. Maybe you work hard all day as a teacher, so when it comes to sex, you just want to be told what to do for once. Or maybe you’re used to having a mean boss who tells you what to do all day, so when you’re engaging in BDSM, you like to be stripped down naked and humiliated with a paddle emblazoned with the word “slut” on it. BDSM is exceptionally versatile; while the roles you can play are endless, one of the most interesting among BDSM lovers is the "brat."
A brat is a consensual role the submissive takes on because they enjoy being a little bit of an as*hole to their dominant partner, (also stylized as Dom, with a capital D), which of course can lead to some consensual punishment , such as a spanking. *wink wink*
“A brat is a submissive who loves to playfully push buttons and ‘break’ rules. They behave this way to deliberately provoke attention from their Dominant,” says Charyn Pfeuffer, sex and relationships writer and author of 101 Ways to Rock Online Dating . It’s less about being a complete jerk; it’s more playful. “Think sassy and mischievous, versus straight-up disobedient,” Pfeuffer adds.
Brats love “poking the bear,” or provoking their Dom. Taylor Sparks, an erotic educator and founder of Organic Loven , the largest BIPOC-owned online intimacy shop, says a brat might purposely burn something in the oven as a way to get a response: "Yes, I burned your bread...so what are you going to do about it?” she offers as an example.
While being a brat is one role in the umbrella category of “submissive,” you don’t need to be a brat to be a submissive.
Masochist: Someone who enjoys having pain inflicted on them.
Baby girl/baby boy: Usually enjoys being treated gently and with care. This is part of a Daddy/Mommy Dom/sub dynamic.
Good girl/Good boy: A submissive who gets off on pleasing their sub and following orders (essentially the exact opposite of a brat).
Slave: A submissive who is the servant to their Dom. This dynamic can include sex, but it doesn’t have to be sexual. Some consensual slaves enjoy being completely at the disposal of their Dom, with no sex involved.
The "tamer" is the role the Dom takes on with their brat. There are many ways to play that role: Maybe you’re a mean teacher, a cranky boss, or a fed-up Daddy. Or maybe you’re just a straight up Dom who tames their brat, without any frills—there is no end to the possibilities.
“They will punish the brat when they display bad behavior," says Daniel Saynt, founder and chief conspirator of The New Society for Wellness . "This may include restraints or impact play. A tamer's job is to bring the brat to submission."
An important aspect of the brat-tamer's job is earning the brat's respect, explains Kenneth Play , sex hacker and creator of the Sex Hacker Pro Series . A tamer needs to maintain control and not get flustered by their brat’s naughty behaviors. “Some brats really like to provoke the dom; this is where sexual confidence really matters,” he says. “That’s why I always recommend doms to have their sexual education preceded with experience. Because if you fold at this moment, that’s when it’s over. It’s a way of proving that you can keep your sh*t together under pressure.”
Of course, if you know you enjoy the brat/brat-tamer dynamic, the bratty behavior probably won't upset you in a “real” way. After all, everything in BDSM is negotiated and must be consensual. Being a brat-tamer “isn’t about controlling your partner or being resentful of their bratty tendencies, but recognizing the playfulness of the dynamic and finding mutual pleasure in an erotic tug of war,” says Lorrae Bradbury , a sex coach and founder of the sex-positive site, Slutty Girl Problems.
It’s important to note once again that all "acting out" and "taming" between a Dom and sub is consensual, and that everyone must understand the agreed-upon boundaries.
The brat acts out in a way that is a fit for the dynamic with their tamer. “A brat knows exactly how to get under their Dominant’s skin,” says Pfeuffer. “They could talk back, ignore commands, or even start a physical altercation.”
Oh, but there’s more. A brat “may minimize their partners' masculinity/sexuality or try to humiliate their tamer,” Saynt says. “When a tamer tells them a command, they might refuse and fold their arms in opposition. They may have a temper tantrum and refuse to comply with their partners demands. When the brat acts out, the tamer takes action.”
“For brats, it’s often important to explain the philosophy behind being bratty, and explore how brattiness is playful fun rather than intentionally disruptive, to familiarize the partner with the concepts,” Bradbury says.
Bradbury points out that being a “brat” is usually something that comes naturally. “Being a brat is often more of a personality trait than a type of [BDSM] play activity, so it’s important to show up as your authentic self during play and navigating new connections, to find partners who are more naturally aligned to play with your desires and personality,” she explains. This means that doing bratty, cheeky things should feel natural to you, and in the same vein, a tamer should feel inclined and turned on by taking on this role.
One of the fun parts of being a brat is that it’s super accessible to anyone. “Talk about the [brat] fantasy and start off by bringing it into your every day,” Saynt suggests. “If your partner asks you to do something like 'pass the remote,' refuse [to do so].”
When you’re first starting out, being really clear that this is part of the “game” can be very helpful. “Speak in a higher octave and engage your inner brat,” Saynt says. “Say things like ‘What are you gonna do about it?’ [and] then take your punishment like the spoiled princess [or prince] you know you can be.”
Since this dynamic hinges on pushing and playing with “limits,” Play says that communication in a brat/brat-tamer dynamic is really important. Everyone should feel safe within the erotic game. “This applies to both sides; it’s just as important that the sub makes the dom feel safe to play this type of game as it is for the dom to check in with the sub,” he says.
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The world of BDSM contains not only its own sex acts (Is smelling a foot sex? Sure, if it gets you off!), but its own highly-robust vocabulary, too. Since all that terminology can be intimidating for newcomers, let’s start with the basics: “BDSM” stands for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism—the core pillars of kinky fun. Beyond that, there’s a whole language to describe the consensual power exchange practices that take place under the BDSM umbrella . Whatever you're into, just make sure to snuggle and practice lots of aftercare when it's all said and done, especially if anyone involved is a painslut and needs ice after some impact play.
At press time, “kink” is not a language you can learn on Duolingo, so here’s a handy glossary of some of the most common BDSM terms, from A to Z.
A is for Aftercare Aftercare is the practice of checking in with one another after a scene (or “play session,” a.k.a., the time in which the BDSM happens) to make sure all parties feel nice and chill about what just went down. The dominant partner may bring the submissive ice for any bruises, but it’s important to know that aftercare involves emotional care as well as physical. BDSM releases endorphins, which can lead to both dominants and submissives experiencing a “drop.” Aftercare can help prevent that. There’s often cuddling and always conversation; kinksters need love too.
B is for Bondage Bondage is the act of tying one another up. In most cases the dominant partner is restraining the submissive using ropes, handcuffs, Velcro, specialty hooks, clasps, or simply a belt if you’re on a budget.
C is for Cuckold We can’t let the alt-right ruin the term “cuck” for us. Traditionally, a cuck is a man who enjoys, often for submissive and erotic humiliation reasons, watching another man have sex with his wife. In a cuckolding scene, the other man invited to have sex with the wife is a “bull.” Female cucks are referred to as “cuck queens,” but people of all genders can be cucks.
D is for D/S D/S refers to dominance and submission, the crux of a BDSM relationship. While kinky people can be on a spectrum (see: “ Switch ”), typically you’re either dominant or submissive. If you take away one fact from this guide, it should be that even though the dominant partner in D/S relationship may be slapping, name-calling, and spitting on the submissive, BDSM and D/S relationships are all about erotic power exchange, not one person having power over another. The submissive gets to set their boundaries, and everything is pre-negotiated. The submissive likes getting slapped (see also: “Painslut”).
E is for Edgeplay Edgeplay refers to the risky shit—the more taboo (or baddest bitch, depending on who you’re talking to) end of the spectrum of BDSM activities. Everyone’s definition of edgeplay is a little different, but blood or knife play is a good example. If there’s actually a chance of real physical harm, it’s likely edgeplay. Only get bloody with a partner who knows what they’re doing without a doubt and has been tested for STIs. You don’t have to get maimed to enjoy BDSM.
F is for Foot Fetish One of the most common fetishes out there, a foot fetish is an attraction—often a need—for feet. Foot fetishists may enjoy worshiping a foot, kissing it, smelling it, massaging it, getting a footjob, licking it, sucking on toes, or ( actually ) getting stepped on.
G is for Golden Showers A golden shower is when you lovingly shower your partner with your piss. It’s high time for the BDSM community to reclaim this word from Donald Trump , who, may I remind you, allegedly paid sex workers to pee on a bed that Obama slept in out of spite. This is not the same thing as a golden shower. Kink is for smart people.
H is for Hard Limits Hard limits are sexual acts that are off-limits. Everyone has their own, and you have to discuss these boundaries before any BDSM play. Use it in a sentence: “Please do not pee on me; golden showers are one of my hard limits.”
I is for Impact Play Impact play refers to any impact on the body, such as spanking , caning, flogging, slapping, etc.
J is for Japanese Bondage The most well-known type of Japanese bondage is Shibari, in which one partner ties up the other in beautiful and intricate patterns using rope. It’s a method of restraint, but also an art form.
K is for Knife Play Knife play is, well, knife sex. It’s considered a form of edgeplay (our parents told us not to play with knives for a reason.) If you do play with knives, do it with someone who truly respects you and whom you trust. Often knife play doesn’t actually involve drawing blood, but is done more for the psychological thrill, such as gliding a knife along a partner’s body to induce an adrenaline rush. Call me a prude, but I wouldn’t advise it on a first Tinder date.
L is for Leather The BDSM community enjoys leather as much as you’d expect. Leather shorts, leather paddles, and leather corsets are popular, although increasingly kinky retailers provide vegan options for their animal-loving geeks.
M is for Masochist A masochist is someone who gets off on receiving sexual pain.
N is for Needle Play Also a form of edgeplay (blood!), needle play means using needles on a partner. Hopefully those needles are sterile and surgical grade. Don’t do this with an idiot, please. Most professional dommes have clients who request or are into needle play. It can involve sticking a needle (temporarily) through an erogenous zone such as the nipple or... BACK AWAY NOW IF YOU'RE QUEASY... the shaft of the penis.
O is for Orgasm Denial You know how sexual anticipation is hot AF? Orgasm denial is next-level sexual anticipation for those who love a throbbing clit or a boner that’s been hard forever just dying to get off—which is to say, almost everyone. The dominant partner will typically bring the submissive close or to the brink of orgasm, then stop. Repeat as necessary.
P is for Painslut A painslut is a dope-ass submissive who knows what they want, and that’s pain, dammit.
Q is for Queening Queening is when a woman, a.k.a. the queen you must worship, sits on your face. It’s just a glam name for face-sitting, often used in D/S play. Sometimes the queen will sit on her submissive’s face for like, hours.
R is for RACK RACK stands for Risk Aware Consensual Kink, which are the BDSM community guidelines on how to make sure everyone is aware of the dangers they consent to. Another set of guidelines are the “SSC,” which stresses keeping activities “safe, sane, and consensual.” We kinksters want everyone to feel happy and fulfilled, and only experience pain that they desire—without actual harm.
S is for Switch A switch is someone who enjoys both the dominant and submissive role. Get thee a girl who can do both.
T is for Topping From The Bottom Topping from the bottom refers to when a bottom (sub) gets bratty and tries to control the scene even though negotiations state they should submit. For example, a submissive male may start yelping at his domme that she’s not making him smell her feet exactly like he wants. It can be pretty annoying. It can also be part of the scene itself, such as if the submissive is roleplaying as a little girl with her daddy (this is called “age play”).
U is for Urination Urinating means peeing (duh) and aside from pissing on a submissive’s face or in their mouth you can do other cool and consensual things with urine, like fill up an enema and inject it up someone’s butt! I am not a medical doctor.
V is for Voyeurism A voyeur is someone who enjoys watching others have sex, undress, or whatever floats your erection boat. Voyeurs can get a bad name, because we think of peeping Toms, but there are lots of wonderful ways for a voyeur to consensually engage with their kink, such as going to a play (sex) party or kink event. Voyeurs watch the exhibitionists and everyone wins.
W is for Wartenberg Wheel A Wartenberg Wheel is a nifty little metal pinwheel that you can run over your partner’s nipples or other erogenous zones. It looks scary, but in a fun way, like the Addams Family. It can be used as part of medical play (doctor fetish) or just for the hell of it. Fun fact: It’s a real-life medical device created by neurologist Robert Wartenberg to test nerve reactions, but kinksters figured out it was good for the sex, too.
Y is for Yes! BDSM is all about enthusiastic consent. The dominant partner won’t step on their submissive’s head and then shove it into a toilet without a big ole’ “yes, please!”
Z is for Zentai Zentai is a skintight Japanese body suit typically made of spandex and nylon. It can cover the entire body, including the face. Dance teams or athletes may wear Zentai, but some people get off on the sensation of having their entire body bound in tight fabric, and wear it for kinky reasons.
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by heheheheheyehheeh February 18, 2021
person 1: i wanna talk to someone
person 2 :im not someone person 1: i wanna talk to (person 2) person 2: good girl
A vigrin that is a freak on the inside and hasnt been let loose
Have you done this before? No, I'm a good girl
A girl who'd rather do what you want than what her parents taught her.

syn. bad girl
A Virgin. totally innocent. Hasnt been touched by any guy, ever. Anywhere. Never plans to, ever.

What every father forces himself to beleive his daughter is, even after increasing evidence to the contrary.

Chav girls are incapable of maintaining their virginity past the age of thirteen , it is thus impossible for any chav girl to ever be a "good girl" past this age.
Daughter:- Dad... im dating this guy and... hes really nice and...
Father:- WHAT?! I thought you were such a GOOD girl ... how dare you ?! ect ...ect...
In public, a good girl:

- behaves like the sweet innocent girl her father wants her to be
- is smart but polite, like her mother wants her to be
- is decently sexy, like her bf/ hubby wants her to be
- is waring tiny strings or goes commando (whatever idea drives him more crazy while in public)
- if situation allows, occasionally gives him blowjobs under restaurant tables, on the back row at cinema, in the middle of a forest, etc.

In private, a good girl:

- looses the skirt/trousers, and walks around the house commando or in tiny g-strings (shirt allowed if a bit chilly)
- wears French maid outfit when cleaning around the house
- serves bf/hubby with nice food
Anissa Kate Bdsm
Spanish Star X
New Hentei