Bdsm Fire Play

Bdsm Fire Play
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Against the Grain How many intersections can you cram in one feminist?
Siobhan [“shiv-awn”] is an educator interested in examining the undeserved benefits dominant ideologies reap from being left unexamined. She is also a labour organizer, a reproductive justice advocate, and a former journalist who covered abuses of authority in policing and psychiatry.
Siobhan’s meatspace profile includes presentations at Edmonton’s BECA conference and regular appearances for the Alberta Sex Positive Education Community Centre. Her published work can also be found at VICE , the Edmonton Quotient, Shadowproof and The Establishment .
Decreasing world suck is the primary goal. Side effects may include bruising, gibbering, high fever, cracked desks, or cracked heads. Siobhan is not for everyone, consult your doctor before use.
To begin, a fairly standard disclaimer in all things kink: Don’t try this at home; don’t try this alone; do your homework. It is usually safer to try new things in kink in front of other people, because most kink activities are fairly risky and having other people around, especially if they’re experienced, can help mitigate those risks.
Fire play is extremely hazardous. Preparing accordingly means having spotters, the right venue and the right equipment. Below is the same set-up I use to demo this on others, most commonly at play parties where there is a rotation of observers and participants throughout the night. There are many fire play techniques but I have found this one to be accessible to beginners.
It should tickle, not sting. It’ll be warm (duh), but it shouldn’t feel like you’re being burned. You have around 2-4 seconds after the fire starts before it starts causing damage. Even then, the stinging should be minor and the worst that should happen is a bit of redness. I’ve never let the fire breathe until the alcohol is spent but I imagine it is unpleasant to do so.
Some people are more sensitive than others. I’ve observed no particular correlation with skin roughness and tolerance–I’ve seen a soft-skinned masseuse take much more than a contractor with callused hands.
If everything has gone well, then the main consideration is irritated skin. The bottom’s skin will be dry, both because of the alcohol and because you’ve been setting it on fire. Moisturize the affected areas– if they are not burned. Your bottom shouldn’t ever get anything worse than a minor burn if something goes wrong, but it requires first aid if it happens. Anything more serious than redness warrants professional healthcare attention.
Some people get an interesting shot of adrenaline from trying this, so they may require some assurance to help them “come down.” I recommend long hugs if they seem nervous or jacked up [offer them verbally first to get consent!].
This is a guide to mitigating risk as much as possible. I would say the absolute necessities are: fire extinguisher, fire blanket, first aid, nonflammable area to play in, isopropyl alcohol, barbecue lighter, one fire only at a time. It’s downright idiotic to skip those ones, although I do advocate for the rest of the stuff listed here. Fire is definitely one of those “better safe than sorry” types of play.
So someone has agreed to be your volunteer for this fire play technique. Before beginning play, you should enter negotiation with them.
I tend to have this set up at play parties, where I have dozens of people trying it out throughout the evening. There are many other fire play techniques but this one is easy, low(er) risk, and doesn’t have to be completely reset between partners. You don’t really need to tell them when to suffocate the flames; I’ve never seen someone who is in control of their facilities deliberately let the fire breathe long enough to burn them. Instinct kicks in when the tickling transitions to stinging.
On a more general note, so-called conventional wisdom in BDSM is often handed down from mentor to mentee. There is very little in the way of standardized knowledge. If you’re curious about fire play, I actively recommend you find multiple sources, and use their commonalities to establish a starting point for your own practice. The same is true of any play, really.
So, to end with the disclaimer again: Don’t try this at home; don’t try this alone; do your homework. And don’t blame me if you fuck it up. :P
Content Notice: NSFW photos below the fold, rope bondage, women bound in rope. "Risk" is probably a conversation that ranks #2 in the BDSM community, second only to "consent." Like consent, there are a contingent of folks in the kink community who will talk a lot of talk, fuck up…
=AtG= I first encountered the concept of a "Relationship Bill of Rights" in BDSM. In a Dominant/submissive pairing, submissive partners are understood by the community to be in a process of negotiation with dominant partners, wherein all parties collaborate to have some (or in rare cases, nearly all) of the…
=AtG= Hello lovelies, Shiv here again. I hope you all had a lovely week, what with April Fool’s and something about… Trans Visibility? I’ll write on that later. Ideally you all had a tolerable Easter, too. One can dream. My breakup went from "bad" to "I can't even," so I…
Richard Feynman used to tell a rather funny story about how when he was a boy he’d put his hands in ether and then light them – the ether outgassed so fast that it didn’t transmit heat to his hands. Until he tried it as a college student and it hurt like hell because he’d grown more hair.
Stop, drop, and roll. It mostly works unless you’re completely in flames. I set my shirt on fire once and that was what saved me.
I’d add another suggestion: know your flammables. Never ever use diesel or gasoline for anything except cars. Know that lighter fluids are not all made of the same stuff – you can be dealing with anything between wood alcohol and butane. This is important because they have different vapor pressure and you can make your very own fuel/air explosion.
When you make a fire for someone, you keep them warm for a night. When you set them on fire, you keep them warm for the rest of their life.
Richard Feynman used to tell a rather funny story about how when he was a boy he’d put his hands in ether and then light them – the ether outgassed so fast that it didn’t transmit heat to his hands. Until he tried it as a college student and it hurt like hell because he’d grown more hair.
Stop, drop, and roll. It mostly works unless you’re completely in flames. I set my shirt on fire once and that was what saved me.
I’d add another suggestion: know your flammables. Never ever use diesel or gasoline for anything except cars. Know that lighter fluids are not all made of the same stuff – you can be dealing with anything between wood alcohol and butane. This is important because they have different vapor pressure and you can make your very own fuel/air explosion.
When you make a fire for someone, you keep them warm for a night. When you set them on fire, you keep them warm for the rest of their life.
Stop, drop, and roll is definitely handy to have in the back of your mind. That said, this is a form of play where I’ve ejected a lot of people from my station because I maintain a rigorous safety standard precisely because I don’t want things to get bad enough to require stop, drop, and roll. x)

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