Bdsm Fetishes
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Bdsm Fetishes
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We’ve previously talked about the definition of kinky and what makes a fetish. Now, it’s time to list all those kinks in one place. It’s unlikely that you’ve heard of every fetish or kink on this list of kinks; although, we’d be willing you have – or have at least thought about – a few of them! Some of them are fairly common, after all.
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Wondering what a fetish is exactly?
Abasiophilia: attraction to people in neck braces, wheelchairs, casts, or other devices that impair mobility that was documented for the first time as occurring in a woman in the late 80s [ 1 ]. It may be part of a medical fetish or enjoyed because it restricts movement.
Abduction as seduction: a kink where the abductor/kidnapper treats the victim in a loving manner (can be related to gentle femdom ).
Abrasions : people who enjoy this fetish like giving or receiving cuts and scrapes.
Acarophilia: arousal from scratching. Scratching is often an element incorporated into rough sex. More on that here .
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Accidental stimulation: refers to accidental physical stimulation and situations that arouse adrenaline and cause arousal.
Acrotomophilia: fetish for amputees [ 2 ]. Fetishists may prefer a specific type of amputee (arm, leg, etc). A person with a fetish for being an amputee has apotemnophilia. There may be overlap with morphophilia.
Actirasty: arousal by the rays of the sun. This may be enjoyed through sex outside. Discover how to have satisfying sex outside .
Agalmatophilia: a person with this fetish is aroused by statues, mannequins or other figurative representations. This may be related to Pygmalionism, an attraction to items of one’s own creation.
Age play: role play in which one or both partners pretends to be a different age/stage. Types of age play include infantilism, Daddy/daughter play, and diaper play, among others. Some kinksters differentiate between DD/lg and age play.
Agoraphilia : fetish dedicated to sex in public places.
Aliens: kinksters fetishize about having sex with aliens, often in an abduction and forced scenario.
Altocalciphilia: a fetish for high heels, usually worn by women but not always.
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Amazons and authoritarians: fetish dedicated to physically strong women like Amazons, women with strong personalities, or women in positions of authority.
Amaurophilia: kink for being unable to see, blinded or blindfolded during sex.
Anal penetration: a fetish for anal penetration with foreign objects (not sex toys or penises). Inserting objects that are not designed for anal safety (porous, without a flared base, with sharp edges) can cause damage.
Anal sex: both giving and receiving anal sex can be a kink or fetish. Giving to a male with a strap-on is also known as pegging (read our guide to pegging here .) Read our anal sex guide here .
Anal toys worn under clothing: a fetish for using/wearing anal toys such as using butt plugs during the day and not just during sex activity. It may be a command of a submissive by a dominant, part of anal training to take bigger items or penises and/or as part of foreplay.
Anal training: the practice of preparing one’s anus for inserting large items.
Anasteemaphilia : a fetish for people over extreme sizes, ie a giant or a dwarf. It can be used to refer to attraction to partners of differing heights even if those people aren’t especially gigantic or tiny.
Anonymous sex: a kink revolving around anonymous sexual encounters where one or both parties is unaware of the other’s identity. Gloryholes are a common form of anonymous sex but they are not the only form.
Aquaphilia: fetish for water and having sex in or around water. This can extend to a fetish for swimwear or posing in water even if it doesn’t involve sexual activity.
Asphyxiation : a highly danerous kink dedicated to choking, smothering and strangulation. Autoerotic asphyxiation is self-choking. To be clear, asphyxiation is very dangerous and has led to injuries and deaths [ 3 ] [ 4 ] [ 5 ] [ 6 ]. See also breath play. BDSM author talks in depth about the subject.
Autogynephilia : a kink where men present/dress as women (gynemimetophilia refers to men impersonating women). Autoandrophilia is arousal at the idea of being a man.
Note that this term was coined as an improvement on cross-dressing kink and has been used to describe transgendered individuals and has been used as an argument that trans people are mentally ill. Many prefer not to use this term, which is often transphobic. However, some people may have a fetish for crossdressing or becoming another gender that does not relate to their gender identity.
Autofellatio : a kink where a man performs a blowjob on himself.
Autoplushophilia: a type of plushophilia where a person is aroused by the idea being a stuffed animal, especially a cartoonish one [ 7 ].
Ba rebacking : sex without a condom. Barebacking is especially common in the gay community, but this act can be dangerous and lead to STI transmission or pregnancy. Learn how and why you should use a condom .
Bathroom control: when the dominant person controls when, how and where the submissive can urinate or defecate. Extreme bathroom control can be dangerous.
Begging : kink for begging and pleading (to have sex, for release/orgasm, to perform an act, etc.). Begging is submissive in nature.
Belonephilia : affinity to pins, needles and sharp objects. Belonephilia can be quite dangerous. See also knife play.
Bimbofication: The process of making someone into a bimbo or being turned into a bimbo themselves. This might be a fun “punishment” for a bratty sub .
Blindfolds : a type of bondage that blocks a person’s vision. See also amaurophilia.
Body Inflation : The practice of inflating or pretending to inflate a part of one’s body, often for sexual gratification.
Bondage : restraint of a person, either by physical item (cuffs, rope, etc.) or instruction (known as mental bondage). Restraint can be full-body (vacuum beds, suspension) or involve a single body part such as the eyes (blindfold), mouth (ball gag), wrists or even thumbs. Bondage may include furniture and devices. Reddit has a number of subreddits dedicated to the subject.
Body modification : kink for a variety of body modifications. This may mean anything that changes the appearance of a body from tattoos to piercings to saline injections, but this kink may also only refer to specific body mods such as lip sewing.
Branding : marking someone with a symbol, word, etc. Typically uses a heated object (such as a metal hanger) to produce the brand. Branding is dangerous.
Breath play : choking and limiting breath. Being aroused by this is known as hypoxyphilia This kink is a type of edge play that is dangerous .
Breast/nipple torture: the breast equivalent of CBT. Torture may include hitting, pinching, bondage, and other methods of inflicting pain onto breasts.
Breast/nipple worship: the act of worshipshipping someone’s breasts or nipples.
Caning : the act of hitting someone with a rod known as caning. Fleshy areas such as the back of the thighs and butt are advised, but some people enjoy caning the bottoms of feet. Canes are traditionally made from wood, but modern canes may be made from plastic, metal or other semi-flexible materials. Caning is a form of impact play that is more extreme than typical flogging and may be dangerous if done improperly. Sadists are usually the most common type of dom that enjoy caning their sub.
Castration: An extreme fetish involving removal of all or part of a man’s genitals. Actual castration is incredibly dangerous. Most kinksters obsess over it without actually going through with it. This kink goes hand in hand with emasculation fetishes as well as the ball busting, in which a man’s balls are crushed.
CBT: Cock and ball torture (CBT) is pain applied to a man’s genitals. It may be a form of punishment. CBT can involve shoes, sounding, stretching, impact implements and other tools. CBT can be dangerous.
Chasmophilia: aroused by crevices, caverns, or valleys.
Chastity : a fetish where someone’s access to their genitals is blocked. Women wear chastity belts, and men wear cock cages that prevent erection and release. Also known as forced abstinence or forced celibacy. Chastity can be used as a form of self-denial or orgasm control, including ruined orgasms. Learn more about ruining an orgasm.
Choking : blood choking is the act of choking someone until they pass out. It is incredibly dangerous (which we wrote about before – check out our guide on choking during sex ) and can lead to brain damage. Choking is a type of edge play:
Claustrophilia: this fetish is the opposite of claustrophobia. A person becomes aroused or experiences orgasm through confinement to small spaces. This is a type of bondage. Discover more here .
Clothed sex (endytophilia): the affinity for sex while fully or partially clothed. You can enjoy this kink while lifting your skirt or dress, so your man penetrates you. Pushing underwear to the side can also be a form of this fetish.
Cock and/or ball fetishization: an obsession with cock and balls.
Cock worship: similar to breast worship. This fetish involves verbal, physical and mental adoration of a penis – including fake ones (strap-ons).
Collaring : for many types of submissive , the act of wearing a collar shows submission, loyalty and/or devotion to a dominant. A collar may be seen as purely sexual or also romantic (similar to an engagement/wedding ring). Collars may be placed on in public or private collaring ceremonies, and dominants may provide instructions for wearing collars. The collar may be an actual collar purchased from a pet store, one that is hand-tooled or a safe-for-work necklace or choker that can be worn in non-kinky spaces.
Consensual nonconsent: situations where one or both parties have given prior consent for activities that may appear to be or actually involve nonconsent. Rape play is a common form. The “victim” has given prior consent to this type of play but seems to resist. Couples should negotiate boundaries beforehand , including a safe word. Consensual nonconsent should never be spontaneous. If negotiations are avoided or safe words ignored, consensual nonconsent can lead to real trauma or even become sexual assault.
Psst, interested in BDSM? Check out rules that keep it safe and sane .
Corsetry : the act of wearing a corset, sometimes to the extent of changing the shape and size of one’s body. Tight-lacing a corset enables one to successfully waist-train. Some dominants may use tight-lacing to limit breathing. It’s not just limited to your abs and tummy either.
Cross-dressing: dressing like a member of the opposite sex. For many people, it’s not necessarily sexual while it is for others. Cross-dressing can involves clothing, accessories, makeup, and wigs.
Crurophilia : A kink related to legs.
Crush fetish: a particular fetish relating to crushing small animals or objects. Squashing kink is a similar obsession.
Cunnilingus : this kink can be geared towards receiving oral sex as a woman or giving it either as a man or woman. Cunnilingus plays well with pussy worship. If your partner has a kink for licking pussy, you won’t need to convince him to go down on (but you can read this if that’s not the case).
Cupping : small cups or jars are applied upside down to the body, usually the back. Fire or a hand-pump creates suction that results in temporary bruising and a tight feeling. Extreme cupping can break the skin, but cupping is considered safe (the flame is only used for suction and doesn’t burn the skin).
Dacryphilia : arousal caused by tears or crying.
Degradation : if you like when your man talks down to you during sex, you might be into degradation. This is one of those kinks that works especially well with domination and submission. Just because you like doing it (giving or receiving) during sex doesn’t mean you think any less of your partner. However, not everyone likes degradation, and that’s okay.
Dendrophilia: also known as Arbophilia. A sexual attraction to trees, either because they are phallic-shaped or because of the texture. May overlap with xylophilia.
Diapers : this fetish is usually part of infantilism – but not always.
Discipline : giving or receiving punishment for perceived or defined infractions. Discipline is a major part of many power exchange relationships and something typically desired by masochists and administered by sadists.
Dirty talking: having a kink for talking dirty during sex is pretty tame. Some people might not even consider it a fetish! Get tips for talking dirty here . See also narratophilia.
Doraphilia : playing with skin, leather, or fur. Hyphephilia is a similar fetish for touching hair, fur, skin and certain fabrics.
Double penetration : penetration of a woman’s vagina and ass via a combination of toys, penises or both. Double penetration may be part of a group sex scenario (MFM).
Dracophilia : a fetish for dragons. Fantasy fetish companies such as Bad Dragon make dragon dildos, including those that ejaculate!
DVP: stands for double vaginal penetration. Unlike double penetration (DP), which is simultaneous anal and vaginal penetration, DVP involves two penises or one penis and one toy in the vagina. It can be satisfying for all parties; although, it requires lube and preparation. In DVP, only one partner may have enough room to thrust.
Edge play: Any kink or fetish that is considered more risky or extreme. Examples include choking, breath play, knife play, fire play, and any activity that results in bleeding.
Elastophilia: a fetish for stretchy materials including spandex, latex, silicone, etc. Elastophiles often enjoy bouncing on these materials or sinking deep down into something stretchy.
Electric play : playing with uncontrolled electricity is very dangerous and can even lead to heart failure. However, most people (aside from those with pacemakers, heart issues, and other implants), can safely play with TENS units or violet wands to explore this kink.
Enemas (klismaphilia ) [ 8 ] [ 9 ]: inserting a tube into the anus and using a liquid (typically water, but other solutions may be utilized including urine) to clean out the rectum. Enemas may be used to prepare for anal activities, but this is not necessary. An enema could be a form of punishment or control.
Enkuopoiphilia: fetish for impregnantion. We have an entire article on the impregnation fetish .
Eproctophilia: arousal from flatulence (farts) [ 10 ]. It’s a type of olfactophilia
Exhibitionism : a common fetish for being naked and performing sexually in front of a person or persons. Masturbating for your partner is a mild form of this kink, but performing in sex windows or at BDSM shows and parties is a safe way to explore this fetish. Sex in public is partly exhibitionism. Related to agrexophilia, which is arousal when other people know about your sexual activities, and autagonistophilia, exposing oneself while on stage and being photographed. The counterpart of voyeurism.
Exoticism : fetishizing members and elements of Far Eastern culture (Japan, China, etc.), including fictional worlds inspired by these locations. A preoccupation with Geishas is common in the Western world, for example. See also Otherness.
Face fucking: an extreme form of blowjob where a man roughly fucks a partner’s mouth. This kink isn’t inherently dangerous, but it can be uncomfortable and lead to tears, gagging and even vomiting.
Face sitting: the act of a woman sitting on a man’s face while he performs oral. Face sitting can include mild suffocation but doesn’t have to. It’s incredibly dominant. Check out other ways to dominate your man .
Face slapping: a slap across the face brings you to attention and corrects your mistakes. You’re unlikely to enjoy this fetish unless you’re a bit of a masochist, but it’s not as far out as some items on our list of kinks.
Fat fetishism: The sexual attraction to overweight or obese people due to their weight and size. Gaining or feederism (mentioned below as “Forced feeding”) is a variation of fat fetishism where the sexual attraction/gratification is not solely gained from the “fatness” but more from the process of gaining weight/getting fat.
Fellatio: Not usually deemed a fetish or kink, but it can be for some. Check out the Blow Job Guide for tips.
Figging : using ginger root to create a burning sensation. It must be peeled before it can be inserted anally or vaginally.
Fighting/Wrestling : play fighting and wrestling is sexy because your body proximity as you struggle to maintain control. Even if you lose, you don’t really lose! If you’re turned on by a fight between other people, you’re not alone, either.
Fire play: a form of edge play that involves flames and fire. Kinksters should be careful with hair, which can burn off and smell terrible (consider shaving first). Fire/heat may be contrasted with cold/ice. Fire play can be dangerous.
Fisting : the act of penetration with a full hand. Unlike the name suggests, your partner should start with your hand straight and thumb tucked under his fingers like a duck bill. After he inserts his knuckles – the widest part of his hand – he can curl his fingers into a fist/ball shape. Fisting requires time, patience, trust and lots of lube. Learn more here .
Flogging (flagellation) : hitting someone with a multi-tailed tool known as a flogger. Depending upon the strength of the swing, flogging can ran
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