Bdsm Drop

⚡ ALL INFORMATION CLICK HERE 👈🏻👈🏻👈🏻

Bdsm Drop

Wanna hang out with other submissives and their partners? We’ve got a chat room on Discord
Join Us!



Learn more with these related books

Processing Pain In Play
Submissive Positions Handbook
BDSM With Kids In The Home
The Online Submissive
Pain Play For Everyone



When you play and it gets really intense, you feel great. You don’t want it to end and that feeling carries on for a while after play. We all love that feeling, but what happens when that feeling starts to go away? What if instead of good or even normal you feel sad, blue, depressed and troubled? You’ve encountered Sub Drop.

Sub Drop can come in many different forms. Sub Drop is the body’s response to the drop of endorphins in the body after a play session. Most of what you read online are the physical aspects; the fatigue, sadness, aches and pains and recovery from marks. There is a more intense side of Sub Drop that gets very little attention because for each person it is different and describing how to recover can take many forms.

If not cared for, you could go into depression just from one play session. The endorphins and other hormones like adrenaline and oxytocin, released during play leave your body in such a way that it takes the time to rebuild the balance of hormones in your system. You could feel like you have a hangover or partied too hard the night before, you could feel lost and depressed for hours or days. You may just want to sleep it off. These are the more extreme forms of Drop. Some people recover in a matter of hours, but others could exhibit signs of Sub Drop for weeks after an intense session.

In a previous post, I helped you make an
Aftercare kit for yourself when you are alone and need to care for yourself, but I never explained why some of those items were in the kit. The purpose of many of the items was to aid in the emotional recovery after a scene. You may not have a need for an Aftercare kit, but it is helpful to know why such a thing is recommended.

Many of the items in the kit are meant to help you normalize your mood and to apply some self-care. Focusing on yourself and your mental health is a huge part of keeping those down moods from swirling in and overtaking you. Others remind you that your partner or a friend can be your support. You don’t have to go through it alone.

Those that are in casual play relationships tend to not have as many drop issues as those in committed relationships. The reason for this is two-fold. First, casual relationships don't have the same element of intimacy that exists in long-term relationships. That's not to say that all casual relationships lack intimacy, but if you've been in a committed relationship for any amount of time you will know the intimacy of a committed relationship is different than in a casual one. This intimacy can cause issues with boundaries and love that when the play is over the submissive can question the validity of those feelings. On several occasions, I thought how could he love me if he did that to me. Of course, it was consensual and boy did I love it at the time, but once the headspace is over, the questions can bring emotions of sadness, questioning, and disbelief. These are all normal.

The second reason that Sub Drop occurs more in committed relationships is that limits are tested more frequently and the play could be edgier. Casual relationships tend to not be able to develop the trust and history necessary to test boundaries as easily. No matter how strong the trust is with partners, you can still have feelings of disbelief or even feelings that you can't believe you like something so perverted, kinky or dirty. Your own doubts can bring about fear, sadness, and loneliness. You could even question why you are into BDSM, to begin with. Again, very normal.

The emotions that can surface during and after play are necessary to address. Don't keep them bottled up. Write them down, talk about them and keep open communication with your partner. They can help you get through your feelings. Your feelings do not have to be rational, or accurate as long are able to express them somehow they are valid. Several of the things in the Aftercare kit are meant to help you establish that connection. A notebook to write your feelings down, a phone card to call your partner (if they are long distance), a letter from your partner telling you how they feel about you and perhaps even a voice recording. Call up some friends and get out, if you have lifestyle friends they too can help you recover from Sub Drop.

Sub Drop is hard. The many times that it’s hit me the hardest have been the biggest opportunity for me to learn about my reactions, my feelings and what I’m thinking. The best piece of advice I can give you is that should embrace the experience and prepare for the next time. I know we are sad, stressed, lonely, depressed and a variety of other low impact emotions when in Sub Drop, but once you are aware of what’s going on you can learn from it and how to make the next drop less severe.

You can learn to lessen the effects that Sub Drop has on your body and mind. If you feel sad, find things to do that make you happy. Are you experiencing physical exhaustion or a sense of illness? Get rest, take your vitamins and take care of yourself. Are you lonely? Then make a date with friends to catch up. You can feel better, you just have to make it happen and doing a bit of preparation will go a long way to making that happen.

Sub Drop doesn’t have to have such a huge impact on your after playtime moments. With a bit of preparation and awareness, you can not only reduce some of it but use it to help you communicate with your partners and express yourself. Before you let your emotions spiral out of control, take the steps talked about above and see if you can reclaim your mood.
Every month I'll update you on the latest from Submissive Guide and you'll get first access to new resources, offers and events.

Copyright © 2019 Silk Web Technologies.
PO Box 8574
Cedar Rapids, Iowa
USA
52408-8574


Promote / Branding •
Copyright Policy •
Privacy Policy •
Terms Of Use


Why Marvel's Karen Gillan Embraces Her Anxiety
Your New Must-Try: Sautéed Dandelion Toast
The Only Marathon Training Plan You'll Ever Need
Your June Horoscope: Communication Clarity

Navee Sangvitoon / EyeEm Getty Images
Alexis Jones
Assistant Editor
Alexis Jones is an assistant editor at Women's Health where she writes across several verticals on WomensHealthmag.com , including life, health, sex and love, relationships and fitness, while also contributing to the print magazine.


This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
The 30 Best Erotic Novels You Need To Read 🥵
The Best Kegel Balls For A Strong AF Vagina
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
Your July 2022 Sex Horoscope: Shake Things Up
18 Vibrating Panties For Orgasms On-The-Go
These Lingerie Brands Are Stylish AND Comfy
The 18 Best Remote-Control Vibrators Of 2022
15 Best Lesbian Sex Toys You'll Love
29 Best Sex Games For Couples To Try Tonight

Women's Health may earn commission from the links on this page, but we only feature products we believe in.

Why trust us?


Before we get into BDSM aftercare, let's set the record straight about the sex practice as a whole. Yes, BDSM stands for bondage discipline and sadomasochism, but it isn't the violent and harmful sort of kink that pop culture and society have made it out to be.
"It's mostly about sensations—sensory play and or power play," explains Jenni Skyler, PhD , of The Intimacy Institute and resident sexologist for Adam and Eve. How does it work, though? Well, couples typically will start by having a conversation about the type of BDSM they'd like to try. Then, they'll make up a game plan (think: who will be dominant and who will be submissive), which includes talking about their needs, desires, and boundaries, and agree on a safe word. After that, they'll co-create a play script or ritual that works for both of them, she explains.
"In the terms of agreement, safety and consensus are key," Sklyer says. Another must? Aftercare. That literally means taking care of one another, emotionally and sometimes physically, after sex depending on what type of play occurred. Remember: BDSM can be emotionally and physically draining. Aftercare (yes, both for doms and subs!), is an important part of healthy BDSM.
Below is everything you need to know about BDSM aftercare, so that you and your partner can both get what you need from the experience.
Aftercare is the physical and/or the emotional care-taking that occurs after a sexual encounter, and more specifically a BDSM encounter. Most BDSM experiences involve adopting fantasy roles, so aftercare is the time for partners to bring each other back to reality and readopt their day-to-day roles with one another. Think of it as reseting your equilibrium, Skyler explains. Though the play portion of the experience might be over, it's not really over until the aftercare happens.
" If there's a lot of physical pain play, for instance," says Skyler, partners might want to be cuddled or wrapped in a blanket, or they might want a warm meal or water. But usually, aftercare involves reflective conversation. This is the opportunity for partners to be vulnerable with each other, debrief, and zero in on each other's emotional needs.
Oftentimes it's the submissive who needs a little extra aftercare, according to Skyler. But it's important for aftercare to go both ways. Just like it may be difficult or draining for the submissive to be in a powerless position in which they may have been blindfolded or had to beg, it might have been hard on the dominant partner to, say, yell or humiliate their partner (if that's the type of power-play that was agreed on) and adopt a nature they don't typically embrace outside of the bedroom.
Yes! BDSM kicks up a ton of adrenaline into your system and when the play is done, that adrenaline literally plummets and there's this sort of undeniable fatigue, Skyler explains, a.k.a the drop.
She compares it to running a marathon. "You get all your adrenaline going and you get to the finish line, then you kind of collapse at the end," Skyler explains. All the attention to detail, physicality, and focus built up during the play eventually has to come to an end, right? When it does, all the energy in the body will experience a significant slump. That's why aftercare is so important. These acts of self care and support will bring your body back to "normal" by reestablishing balance.
Aftercare is personal to each person, but overall, it involves anything that will simply make partners feel good. Following the all-important conversation about how the sex play made you feel, partners might do things to continue supporting one another and reset the nervous system, says Skyler.
The list of aftercare activities can look something like this:
Depends. Sometimes partners will be ready to process everything immediately following the sexual BDSM encounter, while other times, partners will need a day or two to reflect on what they liked and didn't like before talking it out. In other cases, partners might want both because they remembered something they really enjoyed about the sex play that they forgot to mention or they just want to double check on their partner.
Sometimes the aftercare follow-up involves a third party. When partners are struggling to do aftercare and reflect on what went well, what didn't go well, and find out what the right mix is together, they might want to consider bringing in another person in a therapeutic setting, Skyler explains. But ultimately she warns: "It's not smart to play, unless you know how to communicate about the play." So before you jump into your next BDSM experience, make sure you're willing to engage in aftercare. Remember: A little TLC never hurt anybody.


By
John Brownstone

|

January 28, 2014



Iconic One Theme | Powered by Wordpress






Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here:

Cookie Policy

It is something you don’t hear much about; Dom Drop or as it is sometimes called Top Drop. No, it is not about a sub dumping their Dom. It is not about a Dom falling out of bed. Nor is it about a Dom falling off a ladder or downstairs for that matter.
Dom Drop is very similar to sub-drop in many respects. When in a scene a Dome is experiencing the very same rush of endorphins just like a sub, add into that a rush of adrenaline as well and you have quite a cocktail. Aftercare of a sub is imperative, there is no dancing around it. I am very big about administering aftercare; once a scene is over, especially if a sub is in deep sub-space they need you to be there for them.
Let’s face it what we do is dangerous, we often joke about TTWD and have a well deserved laugh but the possibility of someone getting hurt especially a sub is very real.
The entire time during a scene a good Dom will be aware of that, it doesn’t go away, it isn’t swept under a rug. A misplaced smack, an unsteady hand with a whip, a rope tie that is to tight causing blood flow to be cut off, the possibility is always there. That is just another aspect of what a Dom bears in his mind, the weight he carries.
Dom Drop can manifest itself in different ways depending on the person, the intensity of the scene or scenes and can be either physical or emotional.
When the rush of endorphins and adrenaline is gone there can be a physical reaction, just like coming down off a candy rush. A better way to look at it is if you have even been in an accident, your senses are heightened, you are dealing with the situation, some people in times like that have even exhibited extreme strength.
Once the emergency is over, the endorphin and adrenaline rush is gone and you crash. You feel every muscle in your body, any injuries you didn’t feel before will now be felt. It sounds a lot like sub-drop and in a sense it is. This can happen to a Dom after a scene as well, it may not manifest itself immediately but can happen a day or more after play.
Myself after our 19 hours of play this past weekend today I felt the muscle soreness sinking in. Slight aches that I didn’t understand until I thought back on all that went on between us this past weekend. Last night I lay down to read for a while before I went to sleep and I ended up falling asleep Kindle in hand and lights still on. I was in such a deep sleep I never even heard the phone ring when she called for our nightly talk.
I have no doubt that the 3 hour ride there and back certainly helped contribute to my exhaustion and soreness but would it have been quite as bad if we didn’t have 19 hours of very intense play? Probably not.
One thing that would certainly help in a case like this is fluids. Drinking a lot of water will help flush your body. I’m sure if anyone who reads here has any medical background they can chime in if I am off the mark. When you do any type of exercise or use muscles hard for a while you can build up lactic acid when carbs are broken down for energy. Drinking water or even Gatorade can help to flush that from your system and alleviate the muscle soreness.
The emotional side of Dom Drop is a little more insidious. I experienced it once very intensely.
This hits you and you may well feel like you are experiencing a deep melancholy, self-doubt, lethargy, listlessness, and in some cases guilt. Spanking, flogging, and causing harm per se to some one goes against the so called norm of society. I know I for one had it drilled into me as a young man you don’t hit women, it just isn’t done. Yet that is exactly what I like to do and enjoy it. Consensual of course.
There is that fine line though; while BDSM is not abuse there can still be that hint of guilt that can creep in.
It is most important when you begin to feel like that you recognize it for what it is Dom Drop!
When this happens there are a number of things you can do. First is to recognize it for what it is. Sometimes taking some “me time” can be helpful, going somewhere quiet and just relaxing, listening to music, reading a book. Do something that challenges you, engaging in a hobby you like.
Don’t stop being a Dom, don’t let your rules and protocols slack. It is like riding a horse, if you fall off you get right back on. The same thing here, don’t stop being a Dom.
Do things that make you laugh, watch a comedy show or movie.
If you find yourself becoming depressed which can happen; communicate! Talk to your sub about what is happening, yes you are the Dominant and are supposed to be strong but there comes a point where the trust and communication aspect steps in if it gets too bad.
Sometimes all it takes is for your sub to tell you that they love you, that they enjoyed what you did during a scene. Tell your Dom that what they did was exactly what you needed that can go a long way to pulling them out of Dom Drop. Even as a Dom we need that gentle reassurance.
Just as we make sure a sub eats healthy before a scene and has plenty of fluids before and after a scene to keep them hydrated and fueled the same goes for us Dom’s.
Eat a good meal before a session, afterwards drink plenty of fluids, while making sure your sub is drinking during her aftercare don’t forget yourself.
While Dom Drop may not happen every time you play being aware of what can happen and taking the steps to lessen it’s impact can go a long way to having a safe, fun, and healthy kinky relationship.
Was this post meaningful and helpful? You might enjoy my new website – Loving BDSM – a community and weekly podcast devoted to helping people find and enjoy healthier D/s relationships and kinky lives. Check it out at http://lovingbdsm.net .
Thank you Southern Sir, I just sent this to my Sir.
Hope he gets something out of it, it is important for one to know and understand this.
He is reading it on the train this morning
Thankyou Soutern Sir, I’d never heard of it nor would I have considered it.
I feel the need to reblog this, I hope you don’t mind?
I hope you also but this on Fet.
After reading this it is as important as aftercare for subs
I am honored that you wish to reblog this. Yes, I will be putting this on FL as well
You’re always so strong for me that I forget this can happen. But it’s easy to tell you I love you and love what you do to and for me…’cause I do. ((HUGS)) You’re a good man, a good Dom, and the perfect Daddy for me.
You do always tell me and show me how much you mean to me and I love you very much
This is the first time I have heard the phrase ‘Dom Drop,’ but I can relate to everything you said. The adrenaline rush spiking through your body, all senses alert and ready for action – such highs will often produce a low when the adrenaline has left. Good advice on how to tackle it too, whether you’re a Dom or sub – emotional aftercare is important. Great post May I reblog – with your permission?
It is not something that it’s talked about m
Shemale With Girl Tube
I Want To Have Sex With My Stepdad
Sir Jeff's Ponygirls