Bdsm Chores

Bdsm Chores

Ideas & Inspiration for Power Exchange Relationships

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Whether you’re into kink, power exchange, dominant and submissive relationships, Master/slave dynamics, 24/7 total power exchange or any other type of BDSM interaction, rules play a vital part in keeping your interactions safe and fun.
BDSM Rules refers to any agreed-upon regulation, which governs conduct or protocol (how a party must behave or respond) in a particular circumstance. Rules may be written or verbal.
They can cover anything from daily rituals and chores within D/s dynamics to preconditions, safe words, limits and aftercare for a kink play scene. Consent is a huge part of developing and enforcing rules in BDSM dynamics, even in Master slave relationships.
Even though to the outside eye, it appears the D-type (the person in charge) is making all the rules in a healthy dynamic or scene, all rules have been pre-negotiated, even if via blanket consent (not recommended for beginners).
Having rules provides multiple benefits, including:
The first step to instituting rules within your power exchange relationship is to first think about what you would each like from the arrangement. What aspects are you willing to give control over? When will the power imbalance apply? Then, discuss all the possibilities with your proposed partner.
It helps to have your rules in writing, so you can see everything that’s been agreed to. The easiest way to do this is to draw up some kind of agreement or use a BDSM Contract.
Once you’ve come to an agreement and have set a commencement date, you may like to have some kind of “commencement ceremony” to signify the start. It will help you get into the mindset and step into your roles.
Unless you’ve experienced the type of interaction before, there is no sure way to know whether you’ll enjoy a certain rule or not. Fantasy can be deceiving and can end up being very different from reality.
The only way to know is to implement the rule and see how it feels. Do you enjoy it? Does it deepen your power exchange? Does it help you follow through with your goals? This is where check-ins are important.
You can set yourself a time (perhaps once a week?) to discuss how you’re feeling about certain rules and to propose any changes you’d like to make or remove some rules altogether. Don’t feel bad if a rule you deeply yearned for ends up being not what you expected. It happens all the time. Having the ability to communicate and adapt is what will keep your relationship strong and meaningful.
In addition to check-ins, daily journaling is also highly recommended. This is different from keeping a diary. A journal is used to express how you felt throughout the day as opposed to just listing things you’ve done. When a submissive presents their daily (honest) thoughts to the Dominant partner, the Dom is able to get insights to tweaking rules to suit the dynamic.
Without enforcement, there’s not much point in having rules. If a rule is broken and goes unnoticed or unpunished, this will ultimately lead to the demise of the power exchange.
In general, there are three ways to inspire observance: warning, punishment and incentives.
For a beginner sub, a newly introduced requirement or a minor infraction you may consider simply correcting the sub or giving a warning.
A repeat offence may warrant compelling observance using agreed methods of punishment such as spanking, corner time or denial of privileges.
Rewards are a great way of offering an incentive for compliance and balancing the negative emotional effects which may be associated with punishment. If a sub is only ever punished and never rewarded, there’s not much motivation to be or continue being a “good” submissive. Rewards can be anything enjoyed by the s-type such as gifts, massages or even just time with the Dominant partner.
In a very general sense, these are some common types of rules you can create:
Protocols – these are rules that govern how the slave is to behave or react in a given situation. For example, if the sub is approached by another person in a flirtatious way, what are the steps they must take (if any)?
Rituals – within a power exchange dynamic, you can set up rituals for special repeat events and stipulate what protocols are to apply before, during and after the ritual. For example, rituals for Master coming home, morning coffee, dinner, inspections or preparations for outings.
Etiquette – polite and appropriate behavior such as eating at the table or using “please” and “thank you”.
Chores – routine tasks assigned to the submissive such as house cleaning, cooking dinner, running errands.
Blanket Authority – rules not specifically negotiated, but designated by the Dominant under a general consent given in relation to a specific service or certain aspect of the submissive’s life.
Scene Specific – rules and limits which apply during a specific play scenario or scene involving any kink such as bondage, impact play, sensation play and role play.
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what it all means for a new submissive
What you will need to complete today :
Monthly, weekly or daily tasks and chores for submissives, what are they for and why do Dominants implement them ?
Remember that a Task or assignment should have a purpose. So it might be fun for a Dominant to watch yu doing something you hate, but is that task going to help you improve in a specific way ?
Tasks can be daily check-ins at specific times by text, email, phone, etc, maintaining respect when addressing the Dominant, wearing your collar at specific times or 24/7, completing a submissive worksheet or written assignments. For many submissive’s keeping a checklist or completing daily tasks is a great way to make sure you are staying on track and meeting your Dominant’s standards, giving you a boost of confidence and allowing you to hone your submissive skills.
Within a D/s relationship it is not entirely unheard of for the Dominant to set various task and chores for the submissive. These tasks can range over a wide area of activities. From domestic chores or sexual ones to tasks designed to enhance the submissive service or their well-being, either physical or mental.
In order to properly execute daily tasks and assignments in a D/s relationship the Dominant first has to trust the submissive to follow the set rules and be responsible to follow through. For those in a long distance relationship you may have to rely completely on their word of completion, but there are some ways for long distance relationships to complete tasks in a way that both parties are involved and there is email and IM and camera’s, sending photos as proof.
There are two different tasks : repetitive and non repetitive
The non repetitive task could be something like “write an essay exploring the need for sensory deprivation in all its facets.” This would enable the submissive to pour all her thoughts into something that can be used further on in the relationship.
A repetitive task, well to keep it close to home; “write a blog every week.” But also housework would fall under the repetitive tasks that can be set by a Dominant. The advantage of a repetitive task would be that it gives the submissive structure, and enables them to plan ahead. They know what is expected of them and what is coming when.
Be sure to go over the rules and tasks with your Dominant and make any changes right away so that both of you are comfortable with the amount of daily tasks and the consequences for not completing them. If you are ever uncomfortable with a punishment, be sure to bring that up during negotiations and not when you’re in the middle of the punishment. Keep in mind how often you want to test your limits and what you are physically and mentally capable of.
While there are many reasons for a Dominant to set tasks for their submissive is basically boils down to two reasons :
The first and foremost is : Because they want it, and reason number two : See reason number one.
While this sounds rather funny, perhaps even flippant, let’s have a closer look.
“Because a Dominant wants things”, yes this sounds easy. But only without examining the reasons why they want this. If and when, these reasons are taken into account, then it becomes understandable that this simple reason behold more than its fair share of truths.
Among the reasons they want to do this could be various motivations, the most obvious one : Because this makes their life more comfortable or better. The Dominant provides the funding and entrusts this to the submissive. The submissive in turn keeps the Dominant appraised of the situation. The result is that the Dominant no longer has to worry about this and can relax knowingly that this will be taken care of.
A more real life example of the above could be as earlier mentioned that the Dominant wants the submissive to take care of all the domestic chores in and around the house. Such as cleaning and making dinner. This to make their shared lives easier.
Another reason would be to take care of the relationship.
Having tasks set, both repetitive and individual tasks, helps to give the submissive order in their lives as well as direct challenges to push themselves and prove themselves to their Dominant.
Aside from taking care of the relationship the Dominant has also the included responsibility to take care of the submissive as a person. This can be done by enabling the submissive t grow. Tasks are one of the many tools available to the Dominants arsenal that can help both the Dominant and the submissive in exploring new ways for the submissive to grow. Good tasks in this respect are the writing of essays in which the Dominant asks the submissive to explore and subject in depth and from all angles. This can be either a totally new area to both or seeing if the submissive has understood all the ins and outs of a certain situation and has learned the appropriate lesson.
So what are these kinds of tasks that can be set for a submissive ? On top of my head the following ideas come quickly to mind. I am sure there are many others and that the tasks lists below can be endlessly narrowed down into many sub-tasks but I feel that listing the main categories as it were will at least give a basis to work on like writing essays, blogging, writing a journal, housework, domestic chores, sexual tasks and exercise.
However when all tasks are done one of the more important tasks starts, the dominant having to check that the work has been executed according to the expected standards. This is where in part the caring for both the relationship and for the well being of the submissive comes into play.
The only question that remains answering or perhaps examining in this case is what to do and how to deal if the bar is raised to high ? What if the Dominants demands on you are too high ? There are so many things we can do in a day and even for the most outgoing extrovert will need time in contempltion, or just some old fashioned alone time.
Problems within relationships may arise when the demands on the submissive for their service will start to outweigh their advantages and the submissive feels like all they do is slave away without gaining any of the short term or perceivable long term rewards. As the popular saying goes : “All work and no play .”
The problem with this situation is that the submissive most likely will accept the demands on their time right up till the point of breaking then the submissive may suddenly lash out and proclaim that they either won’t have the time or they will need time to themselves. Such behaviour while understandable is often destructive in nature, and Dominants can be forgiven for reacting in a manner as they could feel the core/basis of their relationship being challenged. However such a reaction is often ironically enough counter productive. The best way for a Dominant to react is to remain calm and open the issue up for communication. Find out what the issue is. This could be indeed that the submissive feels overloaded or that the submissive has simply misunderstood the nature of the task and the time involved.
Communication is one of the best tools a Dominant can have at their disposal. Along with patience, a keen mind. Talk to your submissive, find out the problem and correct it. This may at times mean the Dominant needs to revise her schedule or to drop her task completely for the time being.
then there are unpleasant chores this can include things such as cleaning the stove, cleaning blinds and windows, scrubbing the floor with a toothbrush, detailing a car, tec. The Dominant can make a list of chores and rotate through them to avoid re-clearing a recently cleaned item. Chores assigned as punishments should not include chores that are part of the submisssive’s normal duties. It is important to distinguish normal chores from “punishments chores” or the submissive may start to view all chores as punishment.
I think from the above it can be safely concluded that tasks and assigned chores within a D/s relationship can be a wonderful and useful addition to build a D/s relationship an d keep the submissive busy in a useful way. We have also seen that despite our desire to serve, that it is worth to keep a firm check that submissive’s are not overloaded with work.
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I love to read, walking along beaches, hiking in the mountains. I'm a little shy at first and I have a Daddy Dom, he is always away, in the Military US.
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“If you are ever uncomfortable with a punishment, be sure to bring that up during negotiations and not when you’re in the middle of the punishment.” Although, obviously, you should discuss something during negotiation if you immediately know you’re not comfortable with it, you have to realize how extremely fucked up it is to say that someone shouldn’t express discomfort with something at any point. Kink is separated from toxic or abusive behavior only by the presence of enthusiastic, ongoing consent. Period, full stop. It doesn’t matter what the activity is, it doesn’t matter how long people have been together — the second consent does not exist, the activity must stop. discomfort, lack of certainty, etc. all should count as moments when the dominant partner should stop and check in, not just barrel ahead and assume their partner feels comfortable enough to revoke consent. This article is poorly written overall, so I assume this is just the result of shitty writing and not because the author actually believes someone who is taking on a submissive role doesn’t have the right to revoke consent, but holy shit you’re writing an article that purports to be a guide on tasks and chores. you should hold yourself to a better standard
Yes, I have been uncomfortable with punishment and we discussed why I was uncomfortable with this. After I was punished for not just doing the task I went and did the task.
He is my Dominant and my Sir, as His submissive, I am not to question His orders. Period or I will be punished.
My Domme was great until she borrowed money from her sub. This changed the power in the relationship.
I would say a Domme should never ask her submissive for money. Ask if you two can talk about this, if yes, then tell her how that made you feel and how it changed the power exchange in the relationship.
My Domme is about to come my town. Then she promised me to repay me 6000& in one month, then 1000$ each month toll the debt is finished. I will serve her in panties, a bra and a mobcap.
Just curious Sissy, when was the last time you talked to and who long have you been with her?
I have been owned by her since March 2019.
When was the last time you played together?
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Dainis Graveris November 23, 2021 October 2, 2020
For doms with subs who need a great deal of discipline, this BDSM punishment list has it all.
BDSM relationships always have certain rules in place. But when the submissive breaks one of the rules, there must be consequences.
Let me help you get your sub to behave, by supplying 72 BDSM punishment ideas for submissives who need to learn their lesson.
There’s a mix of punishments that are pleasurable for the dom, productive, and some meaningless tasks that are utterly pointless! But that’s what makes them such a punishment.
This is a more simple form of punishment. Restraint can be fun for the dom while being highly inconvenient for the sub.
I’m sure you’re no stranger to bondage, so break out the handcuffs or ropes and tie up your sub during:
If you want a more annoying form of bondage discipline, get creative. Have the sub:
There are many options with this – use your imagination.
Your Sub is restrained from moving and if the objects fall or the glass leaks, it’s time for a harsher punishment.
Put them in a collar and attach a lead and make them follow you everywhere. Tie their lead to something when you need to go out or do something private.
If you want this to fit in the humiliation category , make them crawl like an animal instead of walk.
Games, reading, masturbation, or even watching TV. Deny your sub the right to engage in their favorite hobby for however many hours, days, or weeks you choose.
Take away their phone, computer, or anything of similar value.
Or, take away their charger. Watch them start to use their phone or laptop less and less as the battery dies.
Does your sub wear a collar they love? Take it away. Or take away their lucky bracelet or ring or something similar.
However, be careful when taking away rings or collars. It’s not fair to take away a wedding band. And in some couples, a collar is likea wedding band so treat that with the same restraint.
Send your sub to bed early, possibly without food first.
No clothes are allowed at home for as long as you decide. If you
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