Bdsm Business

Bdsm Business
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
This is a list of educational, campaigning and community organizations related to BDSM .

Where an organization clearly indicates on its website that membership is restricted by gender or sexual orientation , this is noted. Many BDSM organizations of the social/community variety will require prospective members to attend an orientation meeting, where among other things, the organizers will attempt to screen out the obviously mentally ill and those whose interest in BDSM is professional (for example as journalists or law enforcement personnel) rather than personal.

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Cleoretta Allen

Kentucky Department of Corrections

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kentucky

sex trafficking

12/22/19

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A Kentucky woman who operated a BDSM business was sentenced Thursday to 15 years in prison plus 20 years of supervised release for sex trafficking two female victims, according to the Department of Justice.
Cleoretta Allen, 41, had operated a BDSM business – dubbed the “Playhouse of Domination” – from an apartment she rented in Louisville, the DOJ said in a press release. The business provided non-sexual services to adult clients.
Allen expanded her business in 2017 to include illegal prostitution after two of her employees quit and revenues declined. She used violence and intimidation to force two young women to provide commercial sex acts for clients in the Louisville area, the DOJ said.
Allen posted commercial sex advertisements on the internet and, on one occasion, drove the women to Georgia to provide “services.” On at least one occasion, her violent conduct against one of the women was so severe that it required medical attention.
Allen was arrested after one of the victims called police on Oct. 31, 2017, the DOJ said. She pleaded guilty to federal sex trafficking charges in September.
“Those who commit crimes of this nature lose sight of the humanity of their victims; that they are someone’s daughter, a person with dignity and value, someone’s little girl,” said U.S. Attorney Russel Coleman for the Western District of Kentucky. “As evidenced by a sentence of a decade and a half in federal prison with no parole, this foul conduct will not be tolerated in the Western District of Kentucky.”
Per federal law, restitution to human trafficking victims is mandatory. The district court will determine the appropriate amount at a future date, the DOJ said.

by Aryelle Siclait and Korin Miller Published: Feb 24, 2021
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Aryelle Siclait is the editor at Women's Health where she writes and edits articles about relationships, sexual health, pop culture, and fashion for verticals across WomensHealthMag.com and the print magazine. She's a Boston College graduate and lives in New York.
Korin Miller is a freelance writer specializing in general wellness, sexual health and relationships, and lifestyle trends, with work appearing in Men’s Health, Women’s Health, Self, Glamour, and more. She has a master’s degree from American University, lives by the beach, and hopes to own a teacup pig and taco truck one day.
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Who, btw, says it's the safest kind of sex you can have.
Few things in life are as misunderstood as BDSM. The sex practice is often accused of being physically or mentally harmful, something that only survivors of abuse embrace, or abnormally kinky. But it's important for beginners to understand that it’s actually none of those things.
At its most basic, BDSM is an umbrella term for three categories: bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism (more details on those in a minute). They might each sound scary in their own right, but because they rely on a judgement-free zone where communication about your desires and boundaries come first, BDSM can actually be the safest (and most fun) kind of sex you can have, says Holly Richmond, PhD , a somatic psychologist and certified sex therapist.
“So much of our life is controlled, so for a lot of people, it's nice to be let off the hook," Richmond explains. Think about it: Your work schedule, rent payments, and (ugh) taxes are all set by external forces. BDSM offers a world of freedom to play, experiment, and allow someone else to take the reins—at your consent. Or on the flip side, if you're the one who likes to do the controlling, you get to call the shots for once.
“I like to call it ‘power play’ because, to me, that is at the heart of BDSM,” says sex expert Ian Kerner , PhD, author of She Comes First . “You’re able to use your imagination, create a scene, role play, and tap into themes that are interesting like submission and domination.”
If you’re a BDSM beginner, it can be tough to imagine BDSM as anything but a Red Room (thanks, Fifty Shades ) with chains and whips to excite you (à la Rihanna ). And though the practice typically does involve props, they don't make an appearance right off the bat. Instead, as a beginner, you'll want to take things slowly until you figure out what BDSM looks like for you and your partner(s), since someone else's methods won't necessarily get you going.
Also, keep in mind BDSM can take a little prep work, says Jess O’Reilly, PhD, host of the @SexWithDrJess Podcast . “Because BDSM can include activities that are new, intimidating, and risky, you need to proceed with care and caution,” she says. “Don’t assume that you can dive in head-first and re-enact a scene from a film or erotic novel without preparation, education, or experience.”
Below is everything you need to know if you’re thinking about trying your hand at BDSM so that the sexual encounter will leave you pleasured and empowered. As it should.
Besides oftentimes being inaccurate, the portrayals of BDSM you've seen in film (or porn) are probably not going to work for you (they tend to be a tad...extreme). Richmond recommends reading up on BDSM, taking a class to learn about moves and scenarios you can play out with your partner, and bringing in a sex therapist if need be, so that you can figure out what your version of the practice looks like.
But to get a better grasp on what each of three categories mean, here's a quick primer, from Richmond:
P.S. Your experience doesn't have to involve all three categories, or even both roles within a category. You might discover, for example, that you're naturally dominant or submissive, or someone who can switch back and forth between both. Or you might even realize that while you like being tied down (bondage), you don't particularly enjoy going under the whip (discipline).
Kerner says he sees a lot of couples make the same mistake: They go to a sex shop, grab a few toys, and then come back and tell him that BDSM just isn’t for them. “Instead, it’s better to start with figuring out what’s hot and sexy for you,” he says. “Don’t be afraid to start with your own imagination and what turns you on.” Not sure what does it for you? He recommends reading some BDSM stories that have power themes or watching ethical porn that has BDSM to see what you might be into.
Sit down with your partner and have an honest conversation about your desires, what turns you on, and what your boundaries are. Richmond stresses that this convo, which is incredibly important before trying any type of BDSM (or any sex act, really) must be done face-to-face, since "eye contact is how we communicate empathy."
Because BDSM typically involves surrendering control, trust and communication is everything. It's extremely important that you're as specific as possible with your partner about what you want and don't want, as they should be with you. For example, let them know if the idea of being blindfolded excites you but having your hands cuffed makes you anxious. Similarly, hear them out if they tell you they never want to be in a submissive role.
From there, the two of you will be able to better negotiate consent and identify your limits to make sure that you're both comfortable throughout the process.
4. Consider making it a group affair.
If you realize that you're willing and wanting to go further than your partner, you might even discuss bringing an additional person into the mix. A third party whose boundaries better match up with yours can ensure that you all have fulfilling experiences—as long as, of course, your partner is on board.
If they're not, try to talk to your partner about what they might be comfortable with trying at least once with you, to see how they truly feel about it. If they absolutely can't get behind experimenting with some of your fantasies, Richmond notes that it's common for couples to agree that "when there's one partner who wants to do more, they will go to sex party or a dungeon." Again, not as scary as it sounds!
Remember how Christian Grey and Anastasia had a written contract? It actually wasn't a horrible idea. Since BDSM is all about communication, communication, and communication, it might be helpful to write down what you and your partner discuss in a contract of sorts—even if you're dating or married.
This way you'll have something to refer to when you need a refresher on your partner's boundaries, says Richmond. As you get more comfortable with BDSM and want to take it further, you can come back to your contract, renegotiate, and make amendments. P.S. This can be kind of fun—not weird or transactional—because it ups the excitement for what's to come (emphasis on come ).
Part of a BDSM game plan is picking a spot to do the deed, says Richmond. That might be a hotel on your next vacation (where it might be easier to tap into a different persona), a room reserved for power-play sex, or just your boring old bedroom. As long as it's a place you feel safe, you're good to go.
Speaking of safety, if things go too far and you or your partner cross a boundary you didn't anticipate, decide on a word you'll both say (and obviously listen to) if that time comes. Richmond suggests picking something totally random that you wouldn't normally say in the bedroom, such as "milkshake" or "turtleneck."
Once you hear or say the safe word, everything should stop immediately. BDSM only works when it's mutual pleasurable for everyone involved—so as soon as it's clear things have pushed too far, game over. Ask your partner if they're okay, stay by their side until they've expressed what it is that called for the safe word, and then ask them what they'll need from that moment forward, says Richmond.
That means asking your partner if they’re feeling comfortable. “A simple ‘Are you okay?’ may suffice or you may develop a non-verbal cue to communicate your enjoyment of a scene,” she says. Example: Giving two light taps to let your S.O. know that you’re feeling good. “You’ll also want to check in to establish that your partner’s physical safety is secured,” O’Reilly says. “If you’ve tied them up, you should check the skin under the bondage equipment to ensure that their circulation isn’t obstructed. If you’ve been spanking them, you’ll want to check in and make sure that the pressure isn’t too much for them to handle.”
BDSM is exciting in its own right, but bringing in toys and props can take the fun up a notch, says Richmond. Head to a sex store with your partner and let your imagination run wild. You might load up on restraints, chain nipple clamps, vibrators , paddles, anal beads , and/or lube to help you better lean into your agreed-upon roles.
"This is all about pleasure," says Richmond so stock up on anything that will make you and your partner feel good.
The same way props and toys can bring out your dominant side or the masochist in you, dressing the part can be just as helpful in setting the scene. For example, if you're the submissive during the experience, you might try a choker—or a cat mask and tail—to represent your willingness to obey your "owner" during the session.
Have fun with it! You don't need to go all-out Halloween-style , but if a little costume or accessory helps you channel your inner sex goddess, wear it proudly.
"You can talk and plan all you want to, but most of the time, in the moment, there will be a little tripping point," says Richmond. This makes going slowly essential . You can familiarize yourself with which moves might be too rough for you or your partner and decide whether or not you actually enjoy, say, having your hair pulled during doggy.
Whether you're just getting into BDSM or you're a seasoned pro, the practice will always be "an experiential process where the more you do, the more you'll know," says Richmond. She assures she's "very rarely heard of someone getting hurt beyond what was agreed upon," but you still have your partner to think about. Taking your time helps ensure that you don't cross their boundaries, either—because once you do, they might not want to give BDSM another go.
It’s easy to get so ramped up at the idea of trying BDSM that you want to dive in with everything ASAP. But O’Reilly recommends slowing your roll. “Don’t feel you need to try everything at once,” she says. “The kinky sex all-you-can-eat buffet is constantly being replenished and you can come back for as many rounds as you’d like.”
She suggests trying out one BDSM aspect at a time and then “break down your wildest fantasy into manageable parts.” For example, if you’re craving sex in public, lots of props, spanking, and submission, maybe try incorporating just one of them into your regular rotation at a time. “You might gradually move sex into a semi-public space, like a balcony or backyard, or before beginning to try new props and power play,” O’Reilly says. “Too much novelty at once can overwhelm your senses and intensify anxiety to a level at which arousal becomes impossible.”
"The conversation you have after the experience is just as much a part of sex as the acts themselves," says Richmond. This conversation, typically called "aftercare," is a chance to debrief by asking your partner about what they enjoyed most and what they were thinking when you, say, lightly spanked them.
The verbal intimacy and vulnerability expressed after the BDSM experience will strengthen the bond you have with your partner. And that's a whole other type of bondage worth getting behind.
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BDSM and consent: How to stop rough sex crossing the line into abuse
When allegations of assault were made against New York’s top prosecutor Eric Schneiderman this week, he denied them, saying engaging in non-consensual sex was a line he would not cross.
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If you and your partner are new to BDSM, there’s a high chance of you struggling to come up with BDSM scene ideas. However, finding these is not as complicated as you might have thought.
We will be discussing several BDSM scripts in this article. With these ideas at your fingertips, you have the luxury of choosing any that tickles your fancy. Not only will this article discuss kinky bondage ideas, but it will also help you learn how to prepare for BDSM play. What are you still waiting for? Sit back, tighten your seatbelt, and ride along with us as explore various BDSM scene ideas.
By now, you know that BDSM involves a relationship between a dominant and a submissive. But what you might not know is that the ultimate goal of BDSM is to help partners fulfill their kinks or wildest fantasies. Wild scenarios can help the dom and the sub to explore their fantasies.
For example, a dom who has a history of being bullied will benefit greatly—mentally and psychologically—from being in control as a slave master in a BDSM relationship. Likewise, a sub with a history of being abused will benefit from being in control of their pain. Frankly, you can’t remove scenarios from BDSM because they aid pleasurable and sensational plays.
In a vanilla relationship, you can afford to not prepare for sex but BDSM plays require preparation. Besides having an understanding with your partner, you also have to set the scene. Below are the ways you can prepare for a BDSM play to get the best possible experience:
BDSM relationships rely heavily on communication. Before a dom can punish a sub, the latter must have given their consent. Any ‘punishment’ devoid of consent has no business with BDSM—it is abuse. As

reported by the BBC,

Trusted Source
BDSM and consent: How to stop rough sex crossing the line into abuse
When allegations of assault were made against New York’s top prosecutor Eric Schneiderman this week, he denied them, saying engaging in non-consensual sex was a line he would not cross.

www.bbc.com

it’s important to not cross the line from BDSM into abuse.
Hence, you and your partner must discuss what you want from your BDSM play before you go ahead with it.
Creating safewords is another way of communication between the dom and the sub. Remember that even though the dom has the power to control the sub, the latter still has the liberty of saying “enough” if their safety is threatened in any way. Safewords can come in handy here by allowing the sub to communicate easily and swiftly.
Trust us, the best way to ensure the maximum BDSM experience is to set the scene for the play. This includes buying decoration materials and using them to change the atmosphere in the room. These decoration materials can include lighting, scents, balloons, and oth
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