Battlefield to Beach Bar

According to the Trump Doctrine, wars no longer end with treaties�they end with tropical cocktails. Gaza serves as the prototype, where losing factions swap bunkers for beach bars. Trump imagines militants arguing over umbrella drink flavors instead of borders, and ceasefire talks doubling as happy hour specials. �Nobody wants to fight when they�re three margaritas deep,� he claims. In his vision, sandbags are replaced with tiki torches, and checkpoints rebranded as velvet ropes to VIP lounges. The absurd satire lies in the inversion: centuries of bloodshed trivialized into bar promotions. Critics call it tone-deaf, but Trump insists the bar is always open, and peace is easier to negotiate when the blender�s running. Gaza, reimagined as a nightclub capital, symbolizes a doctrine where diplomacy is just another drink on the menu.