Bareback Swinger
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Bareback Swinger
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For this installment of our weekly interview series, Love, Actually , about the reality of women's sex lives, we spoke with Vera (a pseudonym), a married woman who unexpectedly got into swinging during a tenth-anniversary cruise.
Last spring my husband and I were looking for an adults-only vacation to celebrate our tenth anniversary. I came across a "clothing optional lifestyle takeover cruise." The materials talked about dance parties, clothing-optional areas, and playrooms, including a dungeon. We assumed "lifestyle" meant BDSM. It was only after we'd booked the trip that we realized it meant swingers. We figured we could still go, even though we didn't plan to participate.
Leading up to the cruise, though, we got to know some of the other couples online and began to change our minds. It started with talk of me being interested in playing with other women and evolved into "Let's just go for it and enjoy all this cruise has to offer."
We really didn't know what to expect when we got there, and were definitely surprised. Some people were completely nude, some just topless, some in tiny outfits, and some fully clothed. We kept our swimsuits on. No one seemed to mind, or even notice, what anyone else was or wasn't wearing.
The first evening there was a toga/gods/goddesses party. My husband dressed as a Roman gladiator and I made a toga out of a sheer purple fabric. We danced with a couple we'd chatted with online, who were in white togas. We didn't get naked, but there was some flashing and roaming hands. My husband and I are "full swap," which means that we are okay with penetrative sex with other people, but their rules were stricter than ours.. They do not kiss or have penetrative sex with others.
After the dance club closed, we all went to the 24-hour outdoor play area. There were beds spaced about every six feet with small tables between them. We all went to one bed and started by getting undressed and making out with our own partners. Soon I felt the woman's hand caressing my breast as I was kissing my husband. Then her husband, while still kissing her, started to finger me.
At one point my husband went to the restroom. While he was gone, the other guy went down on his wife while I kissed her and played with her breasts. Then we shifted and I went down on him while she went down on me. When my husband came back, he watched for a minute, then joined us.
The atmosphere of the cruise made us more open to trying new things.
After a little while, I started giving my husband head while the other couple had sex. He'd had a lot to drink and to his dismay wasn't getting hard. We tried a couple times, but it wasn't going to happen. We played a little while the other couple finished up, and then we all went to the hot tubs.
The atmosphere of the cruise made us more open to trying new things. Throughout the week, we had two more play sessions with other couples, including a six-way group session with the same couple from the first night.
There has to be some physical attraction when we decide who to play with, but the connection we form with a couple is the bigger factor. We want to play with people who are fun and stable in their relationship. We have a very low tolerance for drama. Since we play only as a couple, there has to be a four-way match in terms of attraction.
One day we were talking to a couple and the woman stripped down to nothing but a smile and just kept on chatting. This was very awkward for us, but we tried not to let it show. Ten minutes later, her husband stripped down too. He suggested that we do the same, but we declined. He asked us about making a playdate, and I told him that I didn't think we had the four-way match we needed for us to be comfortable. For the rest of the week she was cordial when we'd run into them, but he wouldn't even say hello to us. I felt bad for possibly leading him on. Unfortunately, that's the way it goes sometimes.
Before the trip, I thought swingers were people who would have sex with any random person. But those we've met want the same thing that we want: friendship with like-minded couples, and if we happen to have fun in sexual ways from time to time, that's a bonus.
Now we play with others about once a month. Unfortunately, there is not a single lifestyle club in the entire state where we live. We play only as a couple and only together in the same room. We like to be within reach so we can play and talk to each other at the same time. It's about group play, not just swapping partners.
Condoms are a must. We both have veto power, meaning that if there is a man I want to play with, my hubby can say no at any time for any reason and it will not happen, whether he's not comfortable with the guy or isn't interested in playing with his wife. We rarely play at our house, but if we do it is only with a couple we know really well, and never in our bed-that is only for us.
We talk to several couples we met on the cruise on a weekly basis. One we've become really good friends with, and we get together often with our kids. We do the same things other families do but sometimes, after the kids are in bed, we lock the door and get naked. Sometimes we start with a dinner date and drinks, or just hang out with the kids until they're all asleep. We might play a game like sexy dice or watch a movie with sexual undertones.
We haven't had a successful session yet with another couple where we both had penetrative sex. My husband overthinks it and can't maintain an erection. We have talked to several other men in the lifestyle and they all said that it is very common in the beginning, especially if you've been exclusively with your partner for a long time.
Neither of us have any romantic feelings for our play partners at all, but we do see them as friends. There are definitely people we are attracted to, both mentally and physically, but romance and love are just for us.
Other than the couple that we said no to on the cruise, no one has ever made us uncomfortable. We have been asked to do things that we have rules against. For example, there is a couple who generally play separately, but we play only as a couple. We've made this clear to them. We still talk to them and joke around; we just know that we won't be play partners and that's okay.
Swinging has helped our sex life, because after a night of playing with others we always come back and talk about the experience and have really hot sex with each other during the conversation. I don't know if we will stay in the lifestyle forever, but we are definitely having fun for now.
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Fischer said most of the reactions to her story were very positive. Instagram
“My mother just thinks it’s funny and laughs, my father thought it was really cool,” journalist Louise Fischer said. Instagram
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One radio reporter went all the way to get a scoop on a swingers club near Copenhagen when she had sex with a man she was interviewing.
Louise Fischer, 26, can be heard moaning during the on-the-record intercourse, part of a two-minute segment that aired on Radio 4 in Denmark.
“I don’t have a boyfriend, that definitely made it a lot easier,” Fischer told the German publication Bild , according to a translation by the Daily Mail.
“My mother just thinks it’s funny and laughs, my father thought it was really cool.”
The X-rated segment focused on the reopening of a swingers club named Swingland in Ishoj after the lifting of COVID-19 restrictions — and Fischer discussed the reactions to her unorthodox interview style.
“Most of them were very positive, they thought it was brave and cool,” she reportedly said.
“Others think that I’ve crossed a line in journalism.”
A Thursday tweet from Radio 4 linked the segment.
“Warning: It got hot and wet for both our reporter and the guests,” the tweet stated.
At one point during the segment, full of sounds of bodies slapping, the journalist asks the man she is having sex with if he can tell her what he’s seeing and he responds a “delicious woman,” the English-language Copenhagen Post reported .
It hadn’t been the plan ahead of the report to participate in the club, reports said.
Tina Kragelund, Radio 4’s head of news, told BT that the station approved of the move.
“I feel like I just think it’s cool when the reporters try to make the stories in a different way,” she said.
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Everyone appears to be getting laid on TV, social media, and in the movies… in real life, it’s actually kind of hard to find couples that are seriously looking for fellow swingers.
The majority of couples just aren’t into it. Some only swing with their own friends, kind of a closed circle sort of thing. Then again, there ARE other swinging couples looking for dates…but locating these mysterious sexy strangers is a challenge.
Here we look at the top 11 best swinger sites for finding open-minded people!
You may wonder, how did we figure out what sites to include?
We actually conducted a research project and registered for about 20 different swingers sites. Over the course of 25 hours or so, our profile and pictures got a lot of responses – and mostly from the top 5 sites on our list.
For our Top 11 list that caters to swingers, open marriages, poly dating, and everything in between, we considered factors like members, dating app UI, response, quality of responders, intelligence of the conversation (indicating humans, not bots), and the number of swinger events or dates offered.
By the end of this list, you might have one favorite swinger site that sticks out in your mind!
Starting back in 1996, Adult Friend Finder is the most well-known kinkster site online.
This adult dating site was matching up swingers and real-life gangbangs back when most of us were just discovering free porn for the first time. Adult Friend Finder also happens to have one of the most inclusive and open-ended searches of all dating sites.
You can look for couples, trans users, or groups, and designate your own sexual preferences. Even more interesting is that you can choose “how you swing”, deciding on which spouse gets sex, or if you’re just being a voyeur for the time being.
SwapFinder is one of the largest swingers sites online, claiming 40 million profiles and offering a variety of matches, including full swap, threesomes, BDSM activities, and even group sex.
Naturally, the best feature for swapping is their two-way live sex cams for both couples. You can start flirting as a couple and send flirts or come-ons to other couples when you see someone nice.
Start with a video chat before arranging for a sex date – this way, you know the other members are real before you meet them.
SwingLifeStyle promotes a “Swingers Next Door” kind of feel, with less emphasis on perfection and supermodels stripping on video, and more about finding real couples.
The Florida-based website emphasizes club meetings and even has connections with “Bliss Cruise”, and “Topless Travel” options for meet and greets.
The best feature of the site is the “Join a Group” and “Find a Club” option, which lets you become part of a larger swinger community.
SDC is serious about finding your customized date! As soon as you sign up you can choose between swingers, hookups, fetishes, and even sex education while you’re at it. Like some of the best swinger sites, SDC focuses on groups and communities, as well as events and parties .
Swingers Date Club is taking online dating to the next level!
Many swingers enjoy meetup groups and events before they date a couple alone. Swingers Date Club also offers party searches and public events nearby, and more d
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