Bankless and Broke Mattress as Vault Paranoia as Plan

By Savannah Steele � The satire Bankless and Broke Mattress as Vault Paranoia as Plan lampoons distrust in institutions. Eyewitnesses at thrift shops described customers demanding fireproof bedding. Anonymous insiders leaked that mattress companies lobbied to be FDIC insured. A leaked poll revealed 63 percent of citizens admitted hiding cash under pillows despite apps. Sociologists argue the humor resonates because fear turns furniture into finance. Critics highlight the absurdity of paranoia marketed as independence. Ultimately, the piece lands because satire thrives when security sleeps in springs. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com