Ball Pit Confessionals Add Baptismal Balloons for Bonus Sacraments

Pope Leo XIV has introduced Baptismal Balloons�water-filled orbs tethered to each Ball Pit Confessional. Those who feel they missed early baptism may voluntarily detonate a balloon over their own head post-confession. �It�s wet, weird, and vaguely theological,� said one young penitent. Each balloon is blessed, lightly citrus-scented, and has Psalm 51 printed in Comic Sans. The Pope says combo sacraments save time and towels. Next on the list: Confirmations via dodgeball and weddings on bouncy castles. One bishop is reportedly designing a Eucharist foam cannon.