Bald Pussies

Bald Pussies

*First Published: Jul 24, 2015, 10:05 pm CDT

Posted on Jul 24, 2015 Updated on May 28, 2021, 7:13 am CDT
Following rigorous competition and more than 130,000 voters, the World’s Most Beautiful Vagina Contest anointed a champion this week. It was a strange, difficult-to-gauge event—but that’s why organizers turned to scientists to tell us what it all means.
U.K. resident Nell, 27, won first place and $5,000 in the pageant with a vulva beauty ranking of 7.7 out of 10. Jenny, 23, of Bavaria, Germany, took second place with a 7.3; and Anita, 20, from Hungary, came in third. They each earned $2,500 and $1,250, respectively.
The contest was sponsored by Brian Sloan, who is also the manufacturer of the Autoblow 2 . It’s known as “the first truly realistic alternative to traditional pleasure products for men,” according to the its website .
These winners will also be flown out to Los Angeles, where their vulvas will be 3D-scanned to later be reproduced for the Autoblow device.
Sloan contracted a group of data scientists to analyze the contest’s findings for their scientific implications. The data was then compiled in “ The Vulva Paper .”
If you’re a visual learner, you can view photo examples of each class here .
The Vulva Paper’s website says scientists “used the contest data to assess the diversity in vulval morphology and voters’ preference for different morphologies.” A total of 182 women participated in the contest; 110 entries were examined for the study (if measurements could not be taken from the photo, the entry was not considered).
The scientists viewed each entry on a 15-inch computer screen, zooming in “until the genitalia were easily measured using a screen ruler,” read the paper .
They measured labia majora length, labia minora length, and clitoral hood length.
Finally, the scientists rated the complexity of the labia minora; they used the three categories of rugosity (smooth, moderate, marked) to do so. To prevent vaginal bias, the same person also conducted all of these measurements. The scientists later used this research to classify the contest’s entries into six different categories of “vulval morphology.”
A chart detailing the six classes is included below:
As far as methodology is concerned, a random assortment of entries was sent to each voter, who was then asked to rate the vulva pictured on a scale from 1 to 10. These voters were only able to rank one photo at a time, but could also vote on an unlimited number of entries. The scientists compiled 2,766,671 ratings from 134,707 contest voters.
“To reduce individual biases, we centered each voter’s ratings using their mean and standard deviation. This allowed us to reflect the preferences of voters on the same scale,” read the study .
According to the paper , each voter rated 21 photos, on average. Each vulva also received 15,285 votes, on average.
The study also found that “roughly 51% of voters preferred the first two classes of non-protruding, simple labia. The other 49% favored the four more complex vulva classes.”
“As expected from the rankings that we saw at the country and local levels, Class 1 vulvas are preferred over the others more often. But the combined percentages of voters who preferred more complex classes of vulvas far outweighed those who preferred the simplest style.”
The winners’ photos, however, were not included in the study—having been among the participants whose photos were not able to be considered. Moreover, the “doggy style” posture featured in these entries made it difficult for the scientists to complete the necessary measurements.
“Indeed, pictures depicting contest entrants in a doggy style position obtained ratings 2 points higher on average (p <0.001) than others. Other features, like piercings in the clitoral hood, didn’t affect the ratings,” read the study .
So basically, the “doggy style” photos generated “influential excitement” among the contest’s voters—an important competitive advantage for all future entrants to consider.
Photo via mislav-marohnic /Flickr (CC BY-ND 2.0)
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When your 10-year-old screams from the bathroom that they need your help right now, you moan and grumble to yourself that you thought potty training was supposed to free you from these particular shackles. What you don’t do is assume that they’re about to ask you if they can shave off all their pubic hair .
Welcome to the new world order, where pediatricians are now seeing girls who’ve just hit puberty grooming their nether regions. The docs say younger girls are being pushed to go bare because of social media, peer pressure and even internet porn .
But before you start locking down all your kid’s gadgets, let me offer up a slightly less terrifying scenario, courtesy of my own bathroom.
A new survey shows that 62 percent of women prefer to completely remove their pubic hair, while 84 percent say they do at least some grooming. I fall into camp two, someone who has trimmed the bush for years. We have a relatively open-door bathroom policy in our house, and my 10-year-old has walked in on me ‘scaping the pubes a few times over the years.
So when I got that scream from across the house, “Mom, can I get rid of my pubic hair?” wasn’t totally off-the-wall.
Her hair had been filling in slowly for more than a year and had now reached a point where it was poking out all sides of her underwear. Her request was simple: “Can I shave this?” she asked, pointing at her naked (hair-covered) crotch.
Of course I launched into a litany of reasons that it’s perfectly normal, and she shouldn’t feel like she has to get rid of it, and no one should be seeing that part of her body right now but her and blah, blah, blah, insert droning mom voice here. That part wasn’t new to her; she has several puberty books on her shelves , and I’d explained what pubic hair is the first time she found me trimming.
Her response was pretty much, “Yeah, I know, so, uh, can we talk about shaving now?”
This was not going away. So I asked the obvious question: “Why do you want to shave it?”
“It feels weird,” was the answer, “and it gets stuck in my underwear.”
Hard to argue with that. It’s exactly why I trim — well, that and the fact that long curlies getting stuck in the adhesive on the underside of a light-day pad is pure hell. And while I don’t remember much about being her age, I do remember it being really freakin’ weird to have my body changing in a million ways that I couldn’t control.
This was not to make her look like something out of a porno flick. This was not because of social media or her peers. This was because she’s a kid who is being made uncomfortable by something that doesn’t need to make her uncomfortable.
The first time, I did the shaving to teach her how it’s done. Heeding the warnings that kids tend to get infections from shaving because they’re not terribly good at it, I then picked up a grooming kit that was less than $25, with both an adjustable blade and a guard. She hasn’t gotten to the point where she’s asked to shave again — nor am I pushing her to do it again — but if she does, I’ll be teaching her how to use the kit.
Because growing up is hard. If I can make it just a little bit easier, I will.
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Elite Daily writer Jamie Leelo spoke to a former vag waxer by the name of Mel who broke down all the ins and outs of the thousands of vaginas she saw, and came up with FIVE major vagina archetypes.
Of course, not all vaginas fit into these categories, and, hell, what are categories anyway? As Mel noted, "This isn’t a mathematic algorithm. This is just to help women understand this weird ‘secret’ [the appearance of our vaginas] we keep from our friends and society at large is not as scandalous or peculiar as we may have thought."
But, for simplicity's sake, we're gonna refer to the vulva here as a vagina, mmkay? Also, these all have "Ms." names, but ANYBODY can have a vagina.
The Barbie look features a vag where the labia majora (outer vagina lips) completely contain the labia minora (inner vagina lips).
This vag model is much more common .

For those who don't know, "camel toe" is slang for the outline of a woman's labia in tight-fitting clothes. Between the combination of the anatomy and absolutely wonderful conditions, the shape is supposed to look like the front feet of a camel. Looking for more camel toe? Check out these 29 Pics of Hot Babes With Camel Toe
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