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I don't know who the hell this father is, but he needs to be arrested. A video of a father whipping his two teenage daughters after apparently catching them "twerking" -- a somewhat sexually suggestive dance popular right now -- has gone viral. (We are choosing not to promote this video, but if you want to see why it's so horrifying, you can go to the link above.) It's unclear how their videotaped punishment made it online. Did the girls themselves upload it? Is it real? It sure sounds real like the real thing. This is not a spanking. It's what you might call an old-fashioned beatdown, and disgustingly, some online are cheering the abusive dad.
The video starts just as the father begins whipping the bejesus out of what is apparently his two teenage daughters with what appears to be a cable wire. The girls scream in obvious pain, but that doesn't stop him. It's pretty obvious he's done this before.
The video is sickening, if you ask me. I know there's a debate about spanking, and while I do not personally believe in hitting a child, I'm not going to go ballistic on someone who decides to quickly smack a child who is getting into danger or acting absolutely incorrigibly.
But this kind of whipping isn't about discipline -- it's about humiliation. It's about power. It sends the message that physical abuse is the way to solve problems, not discussion. Will anyone be surprised when these girls end up either with abusers or abusive or both? This is what they're being taught. It's okay for daddy to hurt you, so it's okay for hubby or boyfriend to hurt you too. Nice lesson to pass down.
Yet many seem to feel the video shows a strong dad keeping his teens out of trouble. "Good for him! He's being a dad to these girls, and in the long run they may just avoid being loose women," one reader wrote on the Daily Mail, a comment that got over 700 thumbs up.
Not really. If anything it will encourage the girls to leave home as quickly as humanly possible -- with any man who will have them. It will certainly discourage them from coming to dad with any future problems, which means they'll either turn to the wrong people for help or will stay in a bad sitution. I mean, would you turn to this father for anything? I certainly wouldn't.
How about the misogyny apparent here? Do you really think he'd be whipping two teen boys for dancing? As for the dance itself? Tame, compared to what else goes on these days. Here's Miley Cyrus "twerking" in a unicorn outfit.
The girls were supposedly videotaping themselves "twerking" and the father may have had a point in not wanting the girls not to post videos of themselves online. But whatever happened to explaining -- you know, with words -- why this is a bad idea? How about showing them news stories of girls who have regretted posting sexually suggested pictures and videos? How about explaining to them how this could be online forever and negatively impact their futures? These girls are practically adults. The time for physical discipline is over!
Whippings like this can only make girls hate their father -- and therefore want to rebel against anything he wants. I bet they want to put a "twerking" video online now more than ever. They'll probably act out in even worse ways. This guy needs his dad license revoked.
Do you think this dad had a right to do what he did?
My Son Prefers My Husband Over Me and I'm Finally At Peace With It
After a hard year of virtual school, most kids who attend a school outside of the home or aren't homeschooled will likely go back to the classroom this fall. Many parents are psyched, we're sure, whether it's to get their kids out of the house or to get back to normal, or both.
It's still early to think about homework, and hard to predict where we'll be come fall, but it's never too early for those deals, and we found retailers that already have them. Whether it's school supplies like glue, pencils, notebooks, and crayons, or a new pair of sneakers that actually fit, these stores have great sales on those type of items for back-to-school time.
Good news for Target addicts, which is likely everyone: Target has already kicked off the back-to-school deals online. At this moment, teachers have a big discount at 15% off classroom supplies. For everyone else, there's also a BOGO (Buy One Get One) 50% off on select backpacks, FUNtainers, and lunchboxes. More discounts will be coming, no doubt.
Staples is also a parent favorite when it comes to back-to-school shopping. The retailer has everything kids and teachers need to kick off the school year. The retailer has also started promoting its deals, specifically super low prices on supplies, which start at 97 cents. Currently, binders are going for less than $2 a piece.
It's important (and sometimes necessary) for parents to get constantly growing kids a fresh pair of shoes going into the school year. Adidas is prepared for the shoe rush and has already launched deals on certain sneakers as well as apparel. Shoppers just need to use the code "FRESH" at checkout to get money off of their order.
If we learned anything the last year and a half, it's that technology is crucial for staying connected and also for helping kids learn. For this school year, Apple has a sale on some of its tech products, including laptops and AirPods. Deals include the company's MacBook Air, which is on sale for $899 and comes with a free set of AirPods.
Macy's has a ton of items year-round for families, but it has great back-to-school items, too, from themed backpacks to clothes and more. This year, Macy's has already launched its back-to-school deals, which include backpacks starting at $24.99. Designs include Pokemon, uncicorns, Minecraft, and Roblox.
There's never too many places to shop for kicks and Nike is one of them. But a cool thing about the Nike brand is that it also has clothing, which makes its back-to-school sale super exciting. For example, these Nike React vision sneakers are 18% off. There's also a sale section on the website.
Will North Face ever go out of style? We don't think so. The brand has marked down some items for back-to-school season for parents who want to snag some fall and winter gear early, from fleeces to gloves, boots, and hats. There's also jacket deals for under $100 as well as backpack deals and hoodies for under $50.
Kohl's is a favorite place to shop for lots of people, whether it's back-to-school season or not. There's always great deals to be had. But it's an especially great place for back-to-school clothes and accessories. The store has T-shirts starting at $7.99, 25% off uniforms, denim for less than $20, and activewear for less than $30.
Price may vary from J.C. PenneySHOP
Is it back-to-school time without a J.C. Penney sale? We think not. The retailer sells everything from backpacks to water bottles, activewear, shoes, denim, and more. Pants are a particularly good bargain right now if you use the code 4BASICS to get up to 40% off.
Most people know they are likely to find lots of school supplies (and everything else) at Walmart. It has pens, pencils, markers, and other supplies ready to go for the school year. Of note are marble notebooks which have been marked down from 88 cents to 50 cents, because a kid can never have too many.
Zappos is the one-stop shop for all shoes needs at an affordable price. But the retailer is having sales that make its shoes even more of a must-buy item before kids head back to the classroom. Lots of the sneakers on sale have been marked down to under $100 while others in the $130 range are now $100-$115.
Bed Bath & Beyond is a dream for those who love to decorate their homes, but it's also an amazing place to shop for older kids who are heading off to college and have their dorms to furnish. The retailer has all a college-bound kid could want, from sheets and bedding to laundry bins and toiletries. Bed Bath & Beyond has a whole page on its site dedicated to college items and 20% off for shoppers who sign up for an account.
Gap has been around for decades, but that's only because it's tried and true when it comes to simple, long-lasting closet staples kids will need to have to get through the school year. For example, sale shirts and sweaters, which can also be used as part of a school uniform, are $10 to $20 off the original price. Some are $30 off.
Nordstrom isn't just a place to find dresses or high-end beauty products. It also has lots of great quality clothes and accessories for kids. And lots of those things are already on sale for back-to-school season. Vans that were $37 are now 40% off and down to $22. Also on sale are kids' shorts, sneakers, hoodies, and dresses.
Price may vary from Dollar TreeSHOP
Dollar Tree is underrated when it comes to school supplies. The retailer is affordable and have supplies that will get the job done this school year. Items being sold for cheaper prices (usually $1 for multi-packs) include almost all of the teacher section: Crayola crayons, colored pencils, glue, pencils, erasers, and more.
*Psst: if you choose to purchase an item from this post, CafeMom.com may receive a small cut. Each item and price is up to date at the time of publication; however, an item may be sold out or the price may be different at a later date.
Giving Up Remote Work and Spending Less Time With My Kids Makes Me a Better Mom
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SHE remembers clearly the first time she was raped by a cousin.
The young woman, who asked to be referred to as Spring, said she was just 13 years old.
“I only found out we were related after the incident. However, he was not charged because his mom sent him away,” Spring told the Jamaica Observer.
Recalling the harrowing ordeal, Spring, who is now 28 years old, said she had taken a taxi to visit her grandparents. However, the driver of the cab didn't let her off at her destination.
“Being scared, as I was a little girl, I didn't know what to do. I didn't have a phone to call or anything so I just had to stay put. In the process of the night I was alone in the taxi when he came. Even though I tried to fight back, I was raped,” Spring said.
Paralysed by the assault, and not aware of where the taxi was parked, she eventually fell asleep inside the vehicle.
“When morning came, I realised I was near to my grandparents home. When I escaped I went to my uncle and told him what happened. My grandmother didn't believe me at first. Everyone was saying that I was bad and all of these things,” Spring said.
“The person that did it didn't get arrested because he ran away. The taxi driver got arrested, and when I went to court and the judge asked me if I recognised the man, I said no. They had to dismiss the case because it wasn't him. The taxi driver did not touch me, but they were friends. Then people came to my home asking my mother and stepfather to compromise the case, and they did,” she told the Sunday Observer.
Her years in high school, she said, were difficult because she was subjected to a lot of discrimination due to the rape.
Spring said she was still battling with the trauma when, at age 18, she was again raped by a “very, very close” relative.
“After having my son at the age of 18, I went to live with my biological father and at that point it happened all over again,” she said. “I know that my mom is not a type of person I could sit down say X and Y happened to me; she is not going to believe. She wouldn't even listen because I couldn't talk to her about anything. I kept it to myself for years. I didn't tell anyone or report it. The first person I told was my spouse. When I met him I told him, and then after I told him I met Eve For Life and got counselling through Eve For Life, and they helped me through it. That's why I can talk about it.”
Spring's story is not uncommon to Eve For Life (EFL) Executive Director Joy Crawford. According to the social worker, cases of incest are steadily becoming prevalent as EFL has been receiving at least two calls per month over the last three years to deal with the problem.
Crawford, whose work includes formulating strategies to end sexual abuse and supporting women and children living with or affected by HIV/AIDS, told the Sunday Observer that through fieldwork and interfacing with girls, EFL began to look closer at the causation of the high prevalence rate of HIV/AIDS among the girls with whom they worked.
“As an organisation that has been dealing with sexual violence, especially childhood sexual violence, for the past eight years or so, when it comes to sexual violence or rape in children it was primarily in relation to making the link between the high HIV prevalence amongst adolescent girls and some of the causative factors,” she explained.
“We found that a number of young women that we were interfacing with who were living with HIV were not born with HIV, but got infected as a result of rape and sexual violence. At first when we started doing the work we heard of rape with strangers — women traversing the streets or living in communities that are very volatile, or they may be living in communities where there is very little protection for girls. We were also looking at the issue of intergenerational sexual relationship that was accepted in a number of these rural communities and in Jamaica on a whole,” Crawford said.
“You will find that it would be the girl who would be 14, 15, 16 years old who communities and family members knew was being raped by an older man in the community or neighbour, but they didn't call it rape. We saw that trend of somebody they may know or somebody the community knows and, of course, you heard the stories of the stepfathers and of course that's where a lot of the blame was laid,” she added.
According to Crawford, approximately three years ago EFL began looking closer at who the perpetrators of sexual violence were in the population they worked with. This, she said, revealed that a recurring decimal regarding the issue of sexual violence is incest.
“We did a survey amongst our clients and we were able to speak to some of their mothers or who they lived with. We saw now where we were looking at biological fathers, we were looking at cousins, we were looking at brothers. We were looking at a lot of uncles — blood relatives. They were the ones who had access, they were the ones who were sharing rooms with them, they were the ones who had daily access to groom them and act as a loving relative. They were the ones who were trusted by other household members to leave the young children or girls in their care,” Crawford said.
In these cases, the girls found it hard to report, and in instances when reports were made, people were less likely to believe the story.
To further illustrate the magnitude of the problem, Crawford shared experiences she has had with girls who are victims of incest.
“A couple of years ago we had one of our girls who eventually wrote her book, and for over three years it was her uncle. She was living in the house with the grandmother and the uncle was having sex with her — probably between age 12 and 15 — almost everyday. He had access. It wasn't a visiting relationship,” Crawford shared.
“The relatives who have access to our girls create a nightmare for them. These are some of the cross-cutting issues around incest that we have to address...as the impact on the person who experiences it is extremely difficult,” Crawford said.
“There have been cases where the mother reported her husband. That was extremely difficult, and the problem with that is the child couldn't understand why mommy would lock up my loving daddy, and resented the mother. The child was young and felt that daddy's attention and affection and touching her was loving. The child couldn't understand why mommy let them take away daddy. How does a woman live with that?” Crawford questioned.
“There was a situation once where I interfaced with a young woman. Her mother was a sex worker and the mother was grooming the child by demonstrating and teaching her how to experience sex. That one really just hit me in my tummy,” Crawford said.
The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child states that governments should protect children from sexual exploitation (being taken advantage of) and sexual abuse, including by people forcing children to have sex for money, or making sexual pictures or films of them.
But a challenge in relation to incest, according to Crawford, is that the data is not always captured.
“A lot of times when the police receive reports around rape or sexual abuse, the relationship is not really a key factor. The data is not disaggregated to determine if it's the father, the uncle, the mother, when they take reports,” she said.
Crawford, now, is adamant that it is time to put an end to the silence around incest.
“A lot of stuff is going on and we have to encourage family members to not keep silent anymore. Just break it out of the closet. People are a lot more comfortable to report what is outside of the house, but the issue of what's inside the closet, the monster under the bed — as one young lady wrote in her book — is really very real in our society. We have to respond to it as a crime. It has to be reported and the law needs to protect the survivors, the girls; it needs to protect the family. The issue is men, and in some cases, women are hurting their children,” Crawford said.
For Spring, nothing short of perpetrators being made to face the full force of the law will suffice.
“I think they should get a life sentence for hurting young, young girls — physically, emotionally. It really does hurt and it lowers our self-esteem. Sometimes some of us are not really strong enough to get back on our feet, and even when we do get help sometimes it's like the help is not working because we have a low self-esteem and we tend to shut the world out; we don't trust anyone,” she told the Sunday Observer.
“They shouldn't be able to come back outside,” Spring said of the perpetrators found guilty and imprisoned.
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Bad Papa Fuck Teens Incest