Bad Mother In Law

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Mothers-in-law are notorious for being controlling, judgmental, critical, and overbearing. And like any toxic person, a toxic mother-in-law is a soul-sucking parasite that feeds on your misery. To protect yourself and your loved ones, you need to know your enemy. So here are 14 signs you might be dealing with a toxic mother-in-law.
wehavekids.com/family-relationships/9 …
Do you think your mother in law is bad?
Do you think your mother in law is bad?
And you think your mother-in-law is bad. Last week, a Reddit user asked the public what the craziest thing their MIL had ever said or done to them. The thread was swiftly inundated with terrifying anecdotes. We’ve selected the 14 most shocking ones. They might make your jaw drop or you might be nodding along in recognition. Here we go…. 1.
www.mamamia.com.au/worst-mother-in-law/
What makes a mother in law a toxic person?
What makes a mother in law a toxic person?
Mothers-in-law are notorious for being controlling, judgmental, critical, and overbearing. And like any toxic person, a toxic mother-in-law is a soul-sucking parasite that feeds on your misery.
wehavekids.com/family-relationships/9-Sign…
What did my mother in law do to my husband?
What did my mother in law do to my husband?
1. My mother-in-law got upset that I wouldn’t tell her which sex position her granddaughter was conceived in. 2. My husband and I went to visit my MIL at her house. She had moved into my hubby's old room and was showing us the changes she made.
www.buzzfeed.com/kristatorres/people-sha…
What did my mother in law Show Me for the first time?
What did my mother in law Show Me for the first time?
3. Within the first 15 minutes of meeting my mother-in-law for the first time, she casually whipped out her boob and started to show me a strange mole she was concerned about. Then, she went into great detail about the vaginal mesh she had put in. Thankfully she didn't try to whip that out to show me.
www.buzzfeed.com/kristatorres/people-sha…
https://wehavekids.com/family-relationships/9-Signs-You-Have-a-Toxic-Mother-In-Law
Перевести · 15.10.2015 · Mothers-in-law are notorious for being controlling, judgmental, critical, and overbearing. And like any toxic person, a toxic mother-in-law is a soul-sucking parasite that feeds on your misery. To protect yourself and your loved ones, you need to know your enemy. So here are 14 signs you might be dealing with a toxic mother-in-law.
https://ruinmyweek.com/reddit/bad-mother-in-law
Перевести · 12.04.2021 · These people definitely won the terrible in-law lottery with Mother In Laws who seem to want to make their lives a living hell. It’s …
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https://toxicties.com/toxic-mother-in-law-signs
Перевести · 06.08.2018 · A toxic mother-in-law is quick to accuse you of disrespect whenever you stand up for yourself, but she’s never shown you any respect. She says derogatory things about you. She criticizes your career choice, your homemaking, your appearance (whether it’s fashion, hair, tattoos, or anything else that’s your personal choice).
https://moneywise.com/life/entertainment/the-craziest-mother-in-law-stories
Перевести · 23.12.2020 · My mother-in-law is a crazy church lady. Anything and everything can be fixed by going to church more. Only the right kind of Baptist church, mind you. My wife has some pretty bad health issues and mother-in-law thinks she should stop taking her medication and, you guessed it, go to church more.
https://www.themoviedb.org/keyword/2374-bad-mother-in-law/movie
Перевести · 13.05.2005 · Right when she starts dating gorgeous surgeon Dr. Kevin Fields. But there's a problem standing in the way of everlasting bliss: Kevin's overbearing and controlling mother, Viola. Fearing she'll lose her son's affections forever, Viola decides to break up the happy couple by becoming the world's worst mother-in-law.
https://www.enkiquotes.com/bad-mother-in-law-quotes.html
Перевести · 03.06.2019 · Mother-in-laws can be controlling and judgmental because they might feel threatened by your presence. However, this is not an excuse for the mean things that they do. Relieve your pent up frustration by reading the very devilish (but true) bad mother in law quotes.
https://www.mamamia.com.au/worst-mother-in-law
Перевести · 24.12.2014 · Women share the craziest things their mother-in-law has said to them. And you think your mother-in-law is bad. Last week, a …
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/mothers-in-law_b_845253
Перевести · 11.04.2011 · A pound of sea salt and a pound of baking soda in warm water for 20 minutes will clear you of low-level negative …
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Lana regularly offers support to women who deal with narcissistic abuse and other difficult family or relationship issues via her blogs.
Here are the 14 tell-tale signs you have a toxic mother-in-law
They don't call them monsters-in-law for nothing.
Mothers-in-law are notorious for being controlling, judgmental, critical, and overbearing. And like any toxic person, a toxic mother-in-law is a soul-sucking parasite that feeds on your misery.
To protect yourself and your loved ones, you need to know your enemy. So here are 14 signs you might be dealing with a toxic mother-in-law.
"When a couple defers to meddling in-laws, it adds considerable stress to a partnership."
— Susan Newman, Ph.D., psychologist and author
Whether your mother-in-law demonstrates all of these signs or just a few, to some extent it doesn't make much practical difference. She's controlling, manipulative, and judgmental—and she makes your life difficult.
Which means that she's never wrong. She'll never admit being wrong, and she will never apologize for anything. That would surely cause the collapse of the Western civilization and contradict the premise that she's always right. In her eyes, you (and possibly your spouse) are the only one to blame.
She will ignore you for the most part, conveying that you don't matter to her. She will not listen to a word you say. She'll ask you if you're hungry, hear "no," and still put food on your plate. She'll also disregard any of your accomplishments as insignificant and unworthy of her attention. Only things that have value to her are important.
She will communicate to you, in a thousand subtle ways, that you are not good enough for her child or for her family. She will not say it to your face, no, but you will hear the message loud and clear. Depending on your self-esteem, you will either feel devastated or slightly amused.
To establish her dominance, she will expect you to please her. That would include adopting her opinions, religion, culture, appearing at every family event, learning her ways of cooking, cleaning and just about everything else under the sun (because her way is clearly better), and, last but not least, giving her grandchildren. If you fail to do any of that, you are indeed a rotten son- or daughter-in-law, and she has a right to complain about you to anyone who'll listen.
If she can't get you to respect her authority, she'll tighten the reins on your spouse, her other kids, her grandchildren, and as many friends and family as possible. She'll make simple things complicated just to prove to everyone she's the one calling the shots.
She will come to your house uninvited and unannounced, expecting you to welcome her with open arms and be grateful for the honor of her visit. She will look with disgust at how filthy your place is and how unmannered your kids are.
Her narrow mentality dictates that she must rule by withholding her affection and approval. So she will use silent treatments, guilt, blame, and direct intimidation to manipulate you and your spouse. If the spouse is not siding with her, she will be punishing and destructive towards them, too. At the same time, she will be demonstratively granting her love to her other children and their spouses.
In public, she will enact a charming, cultured woman who is a selfless caretaker of her family. She may even be known as a philanthropist in her community. Most people will fall for that. They will not understand what beef you could possibly have with such a great lady. Don't try to dissuade them. Let them stay in the matrix. Let them enjoy their steak.
Like any narcissist, she sees her children not as individuals, but as extensions of herself. Everything they do reflects on her, so she will go to great lengths to correct any "deviation" from the path she's chosen. That includes the people they marry; you. She will never give up trying to destroy your marriage or control her children's lives.
If she feels that her seat on the throne is threatened, she will become extremely defensive and passive-aggressive. She will start a smear campaign in her community, trying to turn everyone against you. You'll know she's not pleased when you start hearing all the rumors and lies she's saying about you behind your back. Eventually she'll try to turn your spouse against you, too.
If she feels threatened by you, she'll figure out a thousand ways to make you suffer for it. Get ready for guilt trips, silent treatments, finger-pointing, button-pushing, and manipulation. She'll turn all of her affection elsewhere just to spite you. She'll play favorites with everyone else, hoping to make you suffer even more.
At some point you'll realize that your mother-in-law has two faces: the nice respectable one she shows to friends and family, and the negative, critical, toxic side she saves just for you. And if you tell anyone, they'll think you're crazy for complaining about such a sweet lady.
There will be times when she's nice to you (usually, after you've done something she approves of). She might get you a nice gift for your birthday, support your opinion or compliment you (or at least refrain from insults for once). At this point you might be tempted to think that she's starting to accept you. But don't be fooled.
Don't lose your vigilance even when she's on her best behavior. It may look like things are getting better. Then, out of nowhere, she will turn on you again, and you will be reminded that she will never accept you, and you can never have a relationship with her. That's not necessarily a bad thing, by the way.
The problem with a problematic mother-in-law is that she's here to stay. So how can deal with her so she doesn't drive you out of your mind—or come between you and your partner?
Not that understanding will excuse her behavior, but knowing why she's acting this way will give you clarity and help guide your reactions.
Don't let her bait you into an emotional reaction. Instead of adding fuel to her fire, practice de-escalation techniques and conflict management.
Instead of getting your feelings hurt, remember that her attitude has little to do with you. If the conflict is impossible to avoid, go ahead and respond honestly. Don't be rude, but be clear and neutral about your feelings.
You are the bigger person, the one who understands the larger picture, so use that perspective in your favor. If she always acts out when you're at her house, then don't go over there so often. If she gets weird and controlling around holidays, have an escape plan in place.
Can she drop by unannounced? Can she assert her own religious beliefs over yours? Can she dictate how your parent your children? Decide where you draw the line and don't back down from it.
Let her do all the fight-picking, mud-slinging, and finger-pointing—instead of reacting emotionally or defensively, simply stand your ground. Say, "You clearly have strong feelings about [insert subject here], but I feel differently," or "I'm glad that worked for you, but I prefer to do it this way."
He or she must play an active role on your team, helping his or her mother adapt to her new position in the family hierarchy.
You don't need to move out-of-state, but you also don't need to attend every little event. Let your spouse continue their relationship with their mother, but you don't have to be involved all the time.
Don't endlessly try to make things better, solve the problems, mend all the fences, and improve yourself. At some point you have to admit that this is the way things are and move on.
Dwelling on all the negative things your mother-in-law says and does is no way to live your life. At some point, her motives, actions and feelings should fade into the background so you can focus on yourself and your relationship, instead.
On a personal note, I don't expect to be friends with my MIL any time soon, or ever. I think we're too different for that, and at the same time, too similar in that we're both strong women who don't back down. I understand her frustrations with me, but I also understand that those frustrations have nothing to do with me. It's just self-aggrandizing rejection of "the lesser."
Lastly, I find great comfort in the fact that my own mother is a kind, caring, generous woman who's a wonderful mother-in-law to my husband. So that makes my monster-in-law somewhat bearable, and at times even amusing.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
Question: How do I get my spouse to side with me against his mom when he knows I am right?
Answer: I’m not sure you can. In situations like this a husband is often caught between a rock and a hard place. It’s a delicate balance where you want to be neutral yet still supportive of your wife. But your husband made a different choice, and it’s a wrong choice for his marriage. I think he needs to explore why he needs his mother’s approval so much, he’s willing to sacrifice his relationship for it.
Question: I've put up with a toxic MIL for 35 years. The entire family knows her game. She has become so emotionally abusive to her son (my husband), that he is experiencing major health problems because of it. (Heart issues/stress related attacks). She is the complete picture of a Narcissistic personality. When we try and completely avoid her/cut her out, she gets 100 times worst. This woman won't go away. What do I do?
Answer: Don't try and avoid her. Go no contact, period. Move away, block her number, stop feeding into her blame games. People with a narcissistic personality can be extremely vicious, abusive and selfish. Do what is best for your family.
Question: I have been having an issue with my MIL lately. She never says bad things to my face but always to my husband behind closed doors, and then he will come to me and tell me about what she had to say. We stay on the property and my husband does not want to move because he wants to stay close to his family. It has gone that far as to him saying that he wants a divorce because he can't deal with the tension between his mom and me. Is this normal?
Answer: It's normal for a husband to love, honor and support his wife. Your husband seems to blame you for the tension. If that's how he feels, perhaps he doesn't appreciate you the way you deserve. Do you want to be with him?
Question: I had a discussion with my mother-in-law last year about boundaries, and I feel like they were ignored. What should I do?
Answer: That’s to be expected. Your MIL will test your boundaries many times. You just have to remain firm and remind her of your conversation every time she steps over the line.
Question: Is it possible for the self-aggrandizing person to be clueless? As if they don’t know they’re hurting you. Can someone be that disconnected?
Answer: I've been wondering about that myself. How can someone be so oblivious? There's no way! But I do believe that it's extraordinarily difficult for a self-centered person to empathize with other people. It's just not in their nature. They only see and feel themselves and all the real and imagined ways other people hurt THEM. So the short answer is: yes, it's possible to be that disconnected. But it doesn't mean they're not responsible for their actions.
Question: What do I do if I am the toxic MIL?
Answer: I applaud your self-awareness. Most toxic MILs would scoff at the suggestion that they're toxic.
If you've recognized yourself in all 14 points on the list, perhaps you can start a fresh new page with your DIL. It's never too late to fix a relationship when both people just want peace.
Question: Do you have any tips on how to deal with starting a family with a toxic mother-in-law?
Answer: Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries from the start! I.e.: "I appreciate your opinion but my husband and I will be making that decision on our own."
Question: After 28 years, could I tell my in-laws that they are not welcome in my home if they constantly disregard and disrespect me?
Answer: Anything is possible. You just have to be prepared to deal with the consequences because my guess is, they’re not going to take it well.
Question: I’ve dealt with a manipulative mother in law for eighteen years. We tried to discuss it with her but she just puts the waterworks on and my husband breaks instantly. I’m fed up and don’t want anything to do with her anymore but obviously understand that my husband does and would never ask him to choose. How can I approach this?
Answer: Just try to be around her as little as possible, but be understanding and supportive of your husband wanting to have a relationship with his mom.
Question: Can a husband have a Monster in Law?
Answer: Yes, absolutely. It’s a common scenario.
Question: My mother in law refused to talk to us when we tried to set our boundaries regarding our children and my husband sided with me. But I feel that it's worrying my husband very much. Should I talk to her again and find a compromise?
Answer: I don't think you should compromise on your boundaries. It will send her the message that you're not really serious about it and that she can manipulate you with the silent treatment. She'll pout for a bit but she will come around. And when she does, make sure that you uphold your boundaries every time she tries to test them (she will).
Question: What about the other way around? My mot
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