Bad Handjobs

🔞 ALL INFORMATION CLICK HERE 👈🏻👈🏻👈🏻

Bad Handjobs
Bad handjobs: what are they doing wrong?
New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast
r/sex is for civil discussions pertaining to education, advice, and discussion of your sexuality and sexual relationships. It is a sex-positive community and a safe space for people of all genders and orientations which demands respectful conduct in all exchanges. There is ZERO TOLERANCE FOR CREEPY OR HARASSING BEHAVIOR HERE — in posts, comments, messages, or any other contributions. No exceptions.
Reddit Inc © 2022. All rights reserved
We (at least the males among us) have all had least least one awful handjob in our lives. I have my own thoughts on what so many women get wrong, but I'd like to hear others chime in before over-focusing the discussion.
For something that looks so simple, there's a fair bit of nuance to it.
What in your opinion makes a terrible handjob?
a handjob's a man's job. a blowjob is yo job!
I came here to say just this, but it was already at the top.
Not stimulating the head and the edge where the head meets the shaft.
Milking the dick instead of sliding over it like the dick is entering a pussy.
Repeating same for at least 10 minutes instead of changing over and over into different speeds, different grip pressure, and turning the hand around the dick.
Being quiet instead of talking dirty, telling fantasy stories, or mentioning something kinky to the male.
Not keeping the other hand busy instead rubbing, squeezing balls, digging fingernails (GENTLY) into leg, hip, ass cheek, or assisting the other hand on the dick.
Not staring at his eyes and looking away from body or staring with a daydream.
Squeezing too hard when the ejaculation occurs or still stroking while stimulating the head as the dick spurts.
Those are the list I came up when thinking of that girl that was horrible at it.
You sir should write a book because you have the most sound and extensive advice here.
WAY too fast. It's a penis not QWOP. If smoke starts pouring out then you're doing something wrong.
Not really into handjobs, so school me: what's with the same speed thing? keeping the same tempo and pressure etc works best for girls, so this "change it up" thing in the comments is bewildering me. explain!
Hm. I suppose it's a question of matching intensity to arousal level. Coax it up the hill, but ride it down hard. You don't want to be changing it up once you're on the home stretch (except for maybe a steady increase), but on the way up to that point, it's easy to get a little sore/faded/irritated if you just keep up with the same thing.
Regardless of cultural tropes, the male and female sexual response is a lot more similar that I think people tend to acknowledge. We don't actually respond to hello how arPOUNDPOUNDPOUND any better than women do. You gotta work up to it.
Don't mistake hardness for arousal. The initial stages of an erection, though throbbing blue steel, are actually kinda tender and owie - just like a freshly-erect clit. It takes some fondling and massaging petting to get it relaxed and comfortable - possibly a little softer, but much more receptive to serious stimulation. Even then, it takes some teasing and pampering to get it charged and ready for all-out fucking (or wanking, as the case may be).
come on. Here we are asking for help on how to make you feel better. Please clue us in.
I laugh my ass off :) This was hilarious
TRUTH! I had a girl a was fooling around with, no matter how many times i tried to tell her not to do that, she just couldnt help herself but to try and yank my junk off. Needless to say, that relationship ended quickly.
Okay, my thoughts on the numero uno mistake:
You don't do it by moving your arm. No guy has ever got a tired arm or shoulder from masturbating. We don't use those muscles, and doing so means you're not using your hand properly - which feels terrible.
The motion comes from squeezing your fist open and shut, and squipping the penis out/into it as a result, like when a wet bar soap flies across the bathroom when you grab it. ideally, this keeps a wave of pressure just past the head, where it's most sensitive, and not too much on the rest of the shaft, where it's uncomfortable. This not only gives the thrusting motion, but also a sort of swallowing motion as well.
If you just move your arm up and down, you're getting too much pressure on the shaft, and not enough at the corona, which is uncomfortable and pretty hard to get off to.
(of course, give him a mouthful of pussy at the same time, and you could do a perfectly adequate job with a clawhammer...)
A bad handjob has its roots in an unappreciated penis. A man's genitalia should respected, worshiped and loved. It should be seen as an inspiration for pleasure. Here is a recipe for a good handjob:
Focus all of your energy on your man's love muscle. It should invoke so much desire that you completely forget what you're doing. You should also have a muscle memory yourself, so the protocol is as follows:
You should go slow, if you are not using lube. Imagine churning the butter you would use to bake him home made cookies (god damn I'm hungry). The process is slow but not laborious, liquid yet tense. Put your body into it, let your passions come out in your breath. Also, a tip when it comes to accepting his seed; do not be frightened of it. It spells rejection and it can be painful. You should god damn want his seed all over your body and in your hair if you plan to invoke it.
If you purposefully summon a kraken from the abyss, you should have the motivation to finish that fucker without hesitation, like a boss.
A bad handjob has its roots in a lack of communication. Not everyone likes it the way you do.
upvote except for getting it in my hair

This menu's updates are based on your activity. The data is only saved locally (on your computer) and never transferred to us. You can click these links to clear your history or disable it .

Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
The bad news might not be over for Vince McMahon
Just a reminder to ESPN, Google is FREE
Still 32% off for post prime day sales
The bad news might not be over for Vince McMahon
Just a reminder to ESPN, Google is FREE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go.
Before we get to today's stories, time to throw up the Bat-Signal again and ask for more DHF submissions. Email me right here. Keep it concise, and don't do that thing where you tell me the girl's grade on a scale from 1-10. I don't give a shit.
It was my freshman year of college and I had just gotten dumped by my first legitimate girlfriend. Needless to say, I was aching to get any sort of female attention. Enter "Linda." We had a mutual friend who said she liked me, and even though I didn't know who she was, I agreed for her to come over to my dorm to pregame before going out to a big frat party down the street. Linda comes over a few hours later and we made painfully awkward small talk. We made it over to the party, and as I'm making drunken conversation, she grabs my head mid-sentence and starts voraciously shoving her tongue in my throat. REBOUND! THANK GOD
We get back to her dorm a little while later and the clothes start coming off, etc. She asked if I had a condom because she says, "I ran out yesterday." Hmm. I find this a little disconcerting, but I move forward anyway.
As I'm reaching for the emergency condom I had in my wallet since I was 14, she grabs my hand and yells "Wait!...I decided yesterday that I'm going to stop being a whore." I did not quite know what to make of this, but she ended the awkward stunned silence by blurting "How about a hand job?" I figured that since she already called herself a whore that I would be in for the best (and only) handjob of my life, complete with all kinds of new moves I had never thought to use on myself before.
I tragically didn't realize then that the penis is a very simple organ and there's only so much a hand can do. Well, I say OK and she lunges at it. She begins to tug and yank at the thing with all her strength and at an incredible speed which caused such an immense pain that I cannot describe in words. I scream "AHH! Slow down!" and she does, but still keeps up the intensely vigorous tugs. I yelled for her to stop, and we silently laid in bed until we slipped into drunken slumber.
The next morning I wake up to her drinking Tanqueray out of the bottle (a classy lady), and my penis felt like I had sex with a lawnmower. I inspected when I got back to my place, and it turned out she broke the skin in 3 places, all of which left a nice trail of blood leading to a pool on my boxers. They all also left dark scars that are plainly visible to this day 6 years later. Handjobs are the worst.
I currently live and work in Northern Virginia. On a cold January night, I decided to take a trip into DC to meet up with a friend at a bar and planned on crashing at his place for the night. My friend's girlfriend also joined us and invited out her friend, Lisa, who very much resembled Snooki. As the night progressed and so did the drinking, Lisa began noticeably flirting with me. I avoided this for a few more drinks, and then my friend began pressuring me into hooking up with her. After several more drinks, I agreed with him that it sounded like a great idea, especially considering I was dumped a month earlier and had no luck with other women up to this point. After talking with Lisa for about five minutes, I had successfully convinced her to allow me to sleep at her place, and I informed my friend that I would not be using his couch.
He left the bar with his girlfriend to go to his apartment and I then left with Lisa. After about 10 minutes of walking, we enter her apartment and she gives me the tour. I notice that the apartment is devoid of all furniture other than her bed and I find this quite strange so I ask her why. She immediately breaks down into tears and runs out of the room. I stand there confused for a minute and then begin searching for her since I'm really curious at this point. I find her in the kitchen doing a line of blow off the counter. While still crying, she begins opening up about how she cheated on her boyfriend a couple weeks earlier, got caught, and he took all the furniture.
No better time than now to back out of this situation, so I leave and head back to my friend's apartment. Looks like I'm back on the couch. After about 15 minutes of walking, I realize that I must've gone the wrong way because I don't recognize anything. I immediately begin panicking because its 4am, I'm in a shitty neighborhood in DC, and it's about 15 degrees, so I start calling my friend. No answer. I repeat this a number of times and send plenty of texts until I come to terms with the fact that him and his girlfriend are passed out drunk. After wandering around some more, I eventually find a cab. When I inform the cabbie that I live in Virginia, he asks me to get out because he refuses to drive out of DC. I am not getting out of this cab. So, after some deal making, I'm on my way home with a $45 cab ride and a picture of coked up, teary eyed Snooki burned into my mind.
Transparently awesome These earbuds have active noise cancellation, transparency mode to let in outside sound as needed, and active EQ to ensure you get the best out of your audio.
So this past weekend I went down to Jacksonville to visit a friend in law school. It was his birthday that Friday and a large group went out. He had class so I stayed around his apartment with another friend of ours drinking by the pool. Apparently a full day of drinking isn't the best for you when it comes time to make good decisions, but we'll get into that later. Anyway, after he returns from class we go to the beach for a while, get some drinks and come back to his apartment to get ready for the night. Meanwhile a cute girl, Holly, comes to the pregame and I'm trying to get after her. We hit it off decently well so we continue our flirting out at a few bars. We continued drinking heavily and find ourselves at the strip club.
If you haven't been to Jacksonville, if a strip club serves liquor then the girls can either be topless or in a bikini. No lower parts available. One of the guys we were with knew the owner of the club and we got in free and drinks free. Score. While here, it comes about that Holly has a boyfriend and I won't be getting that tonight.
Well little did I know the guy who's birthday it was bought a dance for himself on my behalf so a girl comes, asks me to kindly pay for his dance. Since I'm pretty dejected about this lack of a hot girl to go home with and obvious lack of nudity at this club, I proceed to ask for a dance. I am shitfaced and can't see straight and really am confused why this girl won't lose her clothes. She explains this ridiculous Jacksonville rule so pissed I demand to know how much it will cost for her to lose her clothes. She tells me its $200 for the champagne room, and I tell her to go fuck herself and offer $100. She agrees and at this point all I've paid for is my friends dance. We get in the room and she locks the door and proceeds to lose her clothes.
At some point our conversation went from her being naked to me fingerblasting her to us agreeing to bang. Well things are getting close and out of the blue there is a banging on the door. The guy outside is yelling that it's $200 for the room. She puts back on her clothes and we go outside back to the side area still in the back of the club. She says it's $200 and I say I'll pay if we fuck. (still have not paid her except for my friends dance). She tells me there are only 2 or 3 songs left before the club closes and I tell her, "That's long enough for me." She agrees to get banged and I head towards the ATM. I take out $200 however the ATM only has $160 in it and I hand that over and the bouncer/her say that's only $160. Well I took that and whatever pride I had left and walked away. Not only did I fail at acquiring trim the old fashioned way I couldn't even pay for sex. I failed all men that weekend. At least I got some Waffle House as opposed to VD.
This is not so much a Drunken Hookup Failure as much as a Morning After Nightmare. So I go to a party with some friends and am fortunate enough to hit it off with a pretty cute girl. I manage to convince her to leave the party early with me and head back to my place. We complete the standard DHF routine of attacking each other as soon as we're in the door, sloppily making out, and moving to the bedroom. However, unlike other writers, we actually have sex. SUCCESS! I pass out and she falls asleep next to me.
The next morning I wake up with a rather pronounced case of morning wood, which the girl notices and is into. DOUBLE SUCCESS! She says she'll go down on me, but tells me to let her know when I'm about to finish because she doesn't want a mouth full of cum. I promise to honor her reasonable request, and she commences the BJ. It is important to note that I am laying flat on my back, staring at the ceiling, throughout the process. Several minutes later I am nearing release so I give her the courtesy tap, and she figures she'll finish me with a good old fashioned handjob. I cum, but she happens to be holding my dick at just the right angle that my first and most powerful blast of jizz shoots through the air, over my torso, coming to rest for the most part IN MY OPEN MOUTH.
Needless to say, I gagged in horror and shot out of the bed toward the bathroom so quick I think the girl thought I was insane. I was lucky enough not to experience actually swallowing my own semen (which you've covered before), so I didn't feel the need to make myself throw up, but I did gargle Listerine for the next 10 minutes. When I told the girl what happened she thought it was hilarious, and said something along the lines of "Now you understand why I asked for the courtesy tap." Indeed I do, for semen is a dish best served to anyone but me.

Bad Handjob für diesen geilen Kerl aus seinem slut
Handjob Workout. Gemma Nicole ist eine freche teen cutie mit erstaunlichen Körper. Heute hat die blonde Sexbombe Ihr geiles Training, als Ihr Freund ins Zimmer kommt. Gemma, die eine echte schwanzschlampe ist, packt seinen boner und streichelt ihn schlech
FUCKEDUPGFS - Raylene Tugjob and TitJob a Large Knob
Guy bekommt eine Überraschung Handjob von eine heiße Schlampe
Schlanke Frau mit natürlichen Titten pleasuring einen Mann mit einem Handjob - Victoria Lawson
Brunette Babe zieht ihr seidenes Gewand und gibt eine große Handjob - Stephanie Swift
Ashley Fires in Kopf Herrin bestraft Bad Boy Video,
Schlechte Millf Jill Kassedy gibt Handjob Reena Skys BF. Verdammte Reena Skys Stiefmutter ist ein echtes Badass Reenas Freund ist Jungfrau und ist unsicher, wenn seine heiße Freundin Reena verlassen die Szene unzufrieden, wenn schlechte Stepmoma Jill Kass
Schöne Blondie mit großen Titten gibt Seifenwasser handjob
Glatt aussehende asiatische Hottie geben eine Handjob mit einem weißen Kerl - Kimmy Thai
Amateur Japanerin gibt einen leckeren Handjob In der Badewanne
Unglaubliche Koch Rucken auf dem Bad Waschbecken.,
Zwei schlechte Schulmädchen wichsen einen Kerl. In ihrem Klassenzimmer ließen diese beiden Schulmädchen einen Mann nackt ausziehen, bevor sie ihm einen Handjob gaben
Handjob Teen Schlampe meinen Schwanz im Bad. Diese Teen Schlampe war Spionage auf mich im Bad, während ich nackt das nächste, was, das ich Shes beenden des Auftrags mit einem Rasiermesser beim Polieren meiner Knopf mit der Hand Istarted heraus ihre enge T
Babe mit einem festen Griff gibt ihm einen seifigen Handjob - Maria Fujisawa
Kleine Titten Brünette Masseurin Melken eines Mannes Schwanz mit einem Handjob - Crissy Moon
Footjob, Doppelpenetration, Böses Drachenvergnügen!
Asiaten geben ihren Client A Handjob und ein Bad
Vier schlechte britische Mädchen geben CFNM Amateur ein handjob
Frau erwirbt freaky auf Ehemann Wang, Frau mit Handschuhen, wie sie mir eine große Amateur Handjob und einen Blowjob gibt. Sie reibt meinen Schwanz auf ihre großen Titten in dieser hausgemachten Sex video. Schade, drehte ich mich vor der Cam bevor ich ihr
Schöne asiatische Babe gibt einen glitschigen Handjob, einer Glück Dude - Mia Smiles
Allura Skye: Zwei Jungs Cum. Dominante Lady Allura Skye muss wissen, welcher ihrer beiden Sklaven sie mehr ficken will und wird es mit einem Handjob-Wettbewerb herausfinden. Mrs. Skye wichst sie gleichzeitig ab und beabsichtigt zu ficken, wer am längsten
Jugendliche doppelte Handjob im Bad. Jugendliche doppelte Handjob im Bad.
Bro gefangen Stiefschwester von deutschen im Bad und verführen, Handjob
BBW Handjob in der Badewanne aus eine schöne asiatische Milf - Yukari Orihara
Kyra... Diese heiße Nummer ist ihren Weg ins Bad hüpfen.
Hottie streift ihr sexy satin Kleid und gibt eine große Handjob - Annie Cruz
Sexy hot Bailey Brooke will es hart und schlecht für die Muschi. Bailey Brooke gab diesem großen Fleisch einen sehr schönen Schwanz saugen lecken und Handjob Dann fühlen sie sich beide so heiß und geil, dass sie anfangen, sich gegenseitig zu ficken, sie m
BBW Handjob Honig ist genial wenn sie kommt, Awesome BBW Babe wichst ihren Mann und spritzt sich selbst hier. Von awesome und große BBW Bad Girls.
Britische CFNM sexy geben schwarzen Kerl ein handjob
Wunderschöne Megu Kamijyou nimmt ein entspannendes Bad
Sexy blonde Mädchen angeheuert, um ihm einen Orgasmus Handjob - Lindsay Meadow geben
Baden dünn Ebenholz Teenager- Desires Creampie
Geile Japanerin Haruki Sato im heißesten Bad, Handjobs JAV Film,
Bad millf Jill Kassedy gibt Handjob an Töchter bf
Sexbombe Babe streicht zwei Schwänzen. Sexy und geil Babe Tia gibt eine super heiße Handjob an zwei Jungs in der Badewanne
Ein Bad
Pornhub Richelle Ryan
Puffy Tit Pictures
Small Chicks Big Boobs