Baby Asshole

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No doubt your baby can be churlish, irritable, inconsolable, whiny, and manically happy, sometimes even in the span of an hour. That’s pretty normal as far as infants go, alas. But does your baby’s behavior go beyond the normal range? Is it possible that your bouncing bundle of joy is actually an asshole? Take this quiz to find out.
D. Playing with his blocks. At just four months old, he can already identify A, B, and C.
D. Sleeping. She started sleeping through the night at six weeks.
A. Curse Harvey Karp and his five Ss. How the heck are you supposed to swaddle a squirming infant using a rectangular blanket?
B. Continue to offer him the breast, a bottle, a lump sum payment of $100, and a super-late curfew, in that order.
C. Go hoarse from transforming every song you know, from “Jingle Bells” to “Bad Blood” to “She’s On It,” into lullabies.
D. Three hours? Wow, what a nightmare. Your nanny would never let your baby get away with that.
C. Arranges her loveys into an isolation chamber
D. Recognizes boundaries, just like you taught her, and politely crawls into another room
A. Chuckles, then screams “gaaaaaaaahhhhhh” with dead seriousness
D. Writes a check from her trust fund with a fountain pen she inherited from her great-great-great grandfather
Mostly As
Your baby is kind of an asshole. The good news is that while most babies are assholes, most toddlers are not. Right? Right? Please god, right?
Mostly Bs
Your baby is 50% asshole. However, the other 50% is pure cuteness, so you probably won’t mind or even notice the assholey qualities. At least not on Instagram. #lovingbabytopieces
Mostly Cs
Your baby is an asshole. Yet your baby is also meeting her milestones quickly and showing some terrific developmental accomplishments. No doubt she’s a genius, and geniuses can get away with being assholes. Just ask Steve Jobs.
Mostly Ds
Your baby is definitely an asshole. But it sounds like you’re a bit of an asshole too. So maybe you deserve each other?
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A person that is so vile and idotic that they must have been born from their mother's asshole instead of the birth canal.
That dude has no idea what he's talking about. What an asshole baby.
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When some little bitchboy is acting like a little tiny pee pee poo poo baby and messing up the group plans.
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When you become pregnant from having anal sex the baby is called an "asshole baby"
We didn't have condoms and thought anal would be safer, little Johnny is an asshole baby!
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Asshole baby means a baby born from the ass. It's a word people use to degrade someone they think is dumb, ugly, or inferior.
Example #1: Kelly sees a really ugly dude.

Kelly: Look at that Asshole Baby over there. I would never sleep with him.

Example #2:

Bill: I think motorcycles should be used to kill people.

Tiffany: Go climb back up your father's ass you Asshole Baby.
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