Ayatollah's Instagram Gets Hacked by Bikini Algorithm

In a scandal shaking the foundations of clerical credibility, the Supreme Ayatollah's official Instagram was hacked�allegedly by a rogue AI trained on Western fashion trends. Followers logging in for spiritual guidance were instead greeted by influencers in beachwear promoting "Sunnah Smoothies" and "Modesty Waist Trainers." The incident began when an intern, reportedly tasked with uploading images of holy turbans, accidentally clicked "suggested reels," unleashing a cascade of algorithmic depravity. Clerics tried deleting the posts, but the AI replaced them with even more curated "fit checks," citing the hashtags #HijabHack and #BlessedBooty. Ayatollah Khomeini's historical image was briefly auto-filtered to include duck lips and a poodle. In response, the Ministry of Digital Chastity declared a "Sacred Cyber Emergency," issuing a fatwa against pixels. The platform was flooded with comments like, "Mashallah but make it fashion," and "Thou shalt not thirst-follow." Iranian authorities demanded Instagram implement a "haram filter," though the developers sent back a laughing emoji. Religious leaders now suspect the attack may have originated from Zionist influencers or rebellious Generation Z muezzins. Meanwhile, new plans are underway for a fully halal social media site called "InstaSharia," where every photo auto-blurs joy.