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Posted Tue 5 Feb 2019 at 2:22am Tuesday 5 Feb 2019 at 2:22am Tue 5 Feb 2019 at 2:22am , updated Tue 5 Feb 2019 at 11:55pm Tuesday 5 Feb 2019 at 11:55pm Tue 5 Feb 2019 at 11:55pm
abc.net.au/news/last-days-of-august-jon-ronson-august-ames-suicide-/10778176
Posted 5 Feb 2019 5 Feb 2019 Tue 5 Feb 2019 at 2:22am , updated 5 Feb 2019 5 Feb 2019 Tue 5 Feb 2019 at 11:55pm
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Last Days of August: A porn star's suicide reveals a dark truth
For the latest flood and weather warnings, search on ABC Emergency
The night the Santa Paula fires ripped through the canyon towards Ventura, propelled by winds of 80 kilometres per hour, Mercedes Grabowski was found dead in a park in nearby Camarillo.
A coroner would rule it as suicide.
The porn actress, known professionally as August Ames, had been caught up in a firestorm of a different kind. After tweeting that she would not work with a "crossover" co-star who had filmed gay scenes, the wrath of the porn industry and Twitter at large descended upon her.
After her death, the wind would change direction, and others stood in its path: gay porn star Jaxton Wheeler, who had said August should take a cyanide pill; veteran actress Jessica Drake, whose more oblique tweets were framed as cyberbullying; and August's husband, porn producer Kevin Moore.
August is the subject of a new audiobook, The Last Days of August. It's an investigation by journalist Jon Ronson and producer Lina Misitzis, combining two of Ronson's previous interests — internet pile-ons, the subject of his book, So You've Been Publicly Shamed , and the tech takeover of the porn industry, which he explores in The Butterfly Effect, an audiobook he made with Misitzis.
"I really enjoyed hanging out on porn sets; it was a nice break from my stressful work," Ronson says ruefully. But that would change.
His plan for The Last Days of August had been to interview the people who Twitter-shamed the actress and find out what led them to that moment.
Instead, he found himself burdened with a huge sense of responsibility — first to August, but also to the grieving husband, Moore, around whom terrible rumours were circulating.
There was speculation among his interviewees that Moore had murdered his wife — based largely on the fact that one of his exes had overdosed and another, also in the porn industry, was institutionalised. It moved Ronson to break from his narrator role and address the listener directly.
"I want to stop for a moment and tell you something … this will not turn out to be a murder mystery", he warns.
There are many of these caveats embedded in Ronson's narrative, and in our interview too, where his go-to words are "understanding", "compassion", "empathy" and "tenderness", consciously or unconsciously giving us a perspective to adopt.
And his mild-mannered Welshness is a stark contrast to the bombastic manner of his subjects — in particular, Moore. At one point he feels moved to advise Moore not to "set off a hand grenade" by releasing a statement called The Truth that lays the blame of his wife's death at the feet of Drake and Wheeler.
"She ended her life the day after the bullying began. To think they are unrelated is delusional," he wrote in The Truth, then pinned to August's Twitter account.
"She believed everyone hated her, she could not see past that."
August Ames was 23 when she died on December 5, 2017. She had appeared in around 270 sex scenes. She was also, according to old interviews, a "military brat", a "dork" who loved to shop at Target, and a victim of family child sex abuse who wound up in a group home.
Her husband was much older, as is the case with many couples in the industry. The dynamic often leads to controlling, dysfunctional relationships, which is how many interviewees describe Moore and August's.
And then there were August's professional relationships. One key player who avoids much questioning is actor Markus Dupree, who filmed an aggressive scene with Ames months before her death. Her brother believes this triggered traumatic childhood memories and sent her spiralling.
August sent a girlfriend photos of her bruises and a shocking account of the scene. However, she backed away from her claims when her husband contacted the production company in a rage.
Dupree refused Ronson's requests for an interview. "If somebody doesn't want to engage with us it doesn't feel fair for us to poke around in their life," Ronson says.
But after much pushing of the production company, Ronson and Misitzis managed to watch the never-released scene. It's like hearing August's voice from the grave.
At the end of her scene, August is interviewed by a crew member to establish consent for legal purposes. It raises the question as to whether consent can realistically be given when an actress's career depends on her willingness to cooperate.
As Misitzis recounts in The Last Days of August:
"She's staring straight into the camera, holding up her cheque for the day's work, her makeup's gone, her hair is pulled back. She looks resigned and emotional and hollow all at once. 'Were you treated okay?' she's asked, and flatly, quietly, she says, 'Yes.' For the first time in this footage, all the camera is focused on is August's face and she seems like she's verging on tears."
When he watched the scene, Ronson was searching for signs that the men in the room knew August was unhappy — which was difficult to ascertain. The impact didn't hit him till later.
"I think it's not that dissimilar to being a war reporter," he says of the flashbacks he's experienced since. "At the time you compartmentalise it because the important thing is to get the story, but when it's over you suddenly start feeling very strange."
It brings to mind the thoughts of a female porn producer in The Last Days of August. She compares young actresses to "baby elephants in the circus". They don't realise that as they mature they are strong enough to escape their chains.
Between August's death and the 35th annual Adult Entertainment Expo and Adult Video News Awards a little over a month later, three more young female porn stars died. August had complained of a pervading loneliness, something echoed by Ronson's other interviewees.
"The loneliness of LA is like frostbite," Ronson says. "It gets into your bones.
"There's a great quote from [the actor] Stephen Mangan: 'In Hollywood they kill you with encouragement.' It happened to me. You go to LA and you're told you're the greatest voice of your generation … and then nothing happens."
Three months before her death, August told podcaster Holly Randall of her difficulty in sourcing help for her mental health issues.
"They'd be like, 'What's your profession?' and I'd be like, 'Oh, I'm in the adult industry,' and then I'd feel like they're like, 'Oh, that's the whole reason that you are the way you are,' and then I'd get turned off," she said. "I need to find a good f--king therapist."
In The Last Days of August, Ronson asks Moore if he's heard of the JB Priestley play, An Inspector Calls. He hasn't.
"A police officer comes to a house and says that a working-class girl has committed suicide," Ronson explains. "No one in the house knows who she is and then one by one they realise that a tiny thing that they did weighed her down."
But in the final chapter, Moore has had a change of tune. "I don't think there's anything wrong with sex or pornography, but the business is very sick. It's very, very subversively sick. For 20 years I've lived a life that I kind of regret now," he says, his voice cracking.
"We are making a living off the backs of the mentally ill. I can't say to the business, 'You guys have ruined people's lives' and not include myself."
The Last Days of August is available now as an Audible Original. Jenny Valentish is a freelance writer and author of books such as Woman of Substances: a journey into addiction and treatment.
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The curvy TV guest constantly had to pull up her strapless dress as she spun the wheel
A gameshow contestant in France lived to regret her choice of outfit – after suffering continual wardrobe malfunctions throughout the show.
The curvy contestant’s boobs were exposed live on air each time she had to spin a giant wheel to win cash.
TV show contestant Dalila suffered numerous wardrobe mishaps during the game
Dalila was appearing on the French version of the Wheel of Fortune, La Roue de la Fortune, where guests have to answer questions to secure large cash prizes.
She had opted to wear a strapless dress, which kept falling down when she span the wheel.
One of the most embarrassing moments occurred when host Christophe Dechavanne chased Dalila around the studio floor, causing the dress to once again slip down.
Making the best of the uncomfortable situation, Dalila can be seeing constantly hitching up the top part of the dress to prevent exposing her breasts.
This wasn’t the first time someone has flashed the camera.
Last year game show host Tania Llasera exposed her boobs live on air after an embarrassing wardrobe malfunction.
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