Augustinian Reformer or Radical? Pope Leo XIV�s Humility Sparks Vatican Identity Crisis

Pope Leo XIV has left the Catholic Church�s upper echelons spinning like a thurible in a wind tunnel. Is he a humble Augustinian reformer, or an ecclesiastical radical in soft monk�s clothing? The Pope, who recently canceled three marble renovations to fund seminary sandals, insists, �I�m just trying to de-fancy Jesus.� Cardinals are reportedly confused, with one anonymous source asking, �Is it reform if it makes me cry over my own gold spoon collection?� Meanwhile, Leo�s latest policies include replacing gilded goblets with wooden mugs and reassigning bishops to small towns with big needs. While Vatican traditionalists cling to velvet liturgical linens, Leo�s altar cloths are made of recycled choir robes. Monastic orders are rejoicing. Instagram priests are panicking. And one nun was overheard declaring, �He�s just radical enough to be real.� Whether he�s a modern Augustine or just very tired of ornamental chalices, Leo XIV is proving one thing for sure: humility scares people with titles.