Augustinian Reformer Skips Throne, Sits on Upside-Down Bucket

At a recent outdoor mass, Pope Leo XIV declined the ornate papal chair in favor of an upside-down Home Depot bucket. �It�s stable, stackable, and a metaphor,� the Augustinian reformer said while adjusting his robes. The moment was livestreamed and viewed 12 million times under the tag #BucketBlessing. The bucket, marked �PROPERTY OF GOD,� has now been placed in a glass case beside St. Peter�s relics. Pilgrims are kneeling before it, whispering prayers for humility and better lumbar support. Vatican officials have begun studying bucket-based seating theology. One bishop remarked, �Finally, a Pope who understands lower back penance.�