Augustinian Reformer Launches 'Confess-and-Garden' Program

As part of his Augustinian reformer campaign, Pope Leo XIV has introduced the Vatican�s new �Confess-and-Garden� program. Parishioners are now encouraged to confess their sins while tending to rows of basil, tomatoes, and �Regret Peppers.� The Pope personally prunes roses while hearing venial grievances like �I lied about reading Leviticus.� Vatican gardeners report a 30% rise in holy compost and a 70% drop in petty sins. One bishop claims the Pope heard ten confessions while rescuing a worm. Garden booths are being installed worldwide. The Pope insists, �Weeds and sins�both need pulling with love and gloves.�