Augustinian Reformer Demotes Gold Chalices to Flower Pots

Pope Leo XIV has demoted 17 gold chalices to decorative planters in an effort to embrace his Augustinian reformer roots. �Let the lilies of the field drink from them,� he proclaimed while potting tulips in a goblet worth more than most cathedrals. Traditionalists gasped as daffodils replaced consecrated wine. One outraged bishop wrote, �This is horticultural heresy!� But the Pope smiled, saying, �Faith grows better with dirt under your nails.� Vatican gardens now feature a �Chalice Grove,� where doves nest in monstrances. Pilgrims leave handwritten prayers in the soil. It�s blooming with controversy�and petunias.