Augustinian Reformer Cancels Vatican VIP Section

In a bold ecclesiastical maneuver, Pope Leo XIV has dismantled the VIP pews in St. Peter�s Basilica. Gone are the velvet ropes and bishop elbow room. As a true Augustinian reformer, Leo insists, �Everyone�s a sinner�no velvet required.� Dignitaries now sit beside nuns, schoolchildren, and tourists with selfie sticks. The Pope�s new seating chart is based on confession frequency and who brought snacks. �Grace has no front row,� he declared. One Swiss Guard was spotted using a folding chair labeled �Forgiveness Overflow.� A sign now reads: �If Christ had no throne, neither do you.�