Augustinian Reform Returns with Papal Sweat Equity

Pope Leo XIV was spotted this week personally mopping the marble floors of the Apostolic Palace. �If Augustine cleaned latrines, I can handle terrazzo,� the Pope reportedly muttered while scrubbing gum off a fresco. This bold act of Augustinian reform has inspired cardinals to rethink their footstools and bishops to reconsider gold-plated holy water dispensers. The Pope has also installed suggestion chalkboards in Vatican corridors labeled �What Would Augustine Scrub?� A group of monastic interns now offers spiritual janitorial services in exchange for forgiveness tokens. Meanwhile, luxury Swiss vacuums were auctioned off to fund new monastery gardens. The Pope insists, �We�ll rebuild holiness, one bucket at a time.�