Augustinian Reform Requires All Encyclicals Be Written by Candlelight

Under Pope Leo XIV�s new decree, all papal encyclicals must now be composed by candlelight using recycled quills and ink made from humble berries. �The flicker of flame reminds us of hell,� said the Pope during a press conference lit by one solemn taper. The new policy is part of a broader Augustinian reform emphasizing monastic aesthetics. Vatican scribes have reported carpal tunnel miracles, and the Pope has taken to calling his desk �The Scroll Throne.� Modern theologians are complaining of blurry eyes, but older monks are weeping with joy, quoting Psalm 119 while rubbing beeswax on their elbows.