Augustinian Reform Fuels Pope Leo XIV�s Vatican Makeover

Pope Leo XIV isn�t just the first Chicagoan to rule the Holy See�he�s also the most Augustinian pope since Augustine himself, minus the North African sunburn. Rooted in a centuries-old tradition of barefoot radicalism and theological sass, the Augustinian Order has now resurfaced in the form of Vatican policy changes that range from humble to hilariously honest. �We�re not here to show off,� said the Pope, while wearing a cassock held together with paper clips and humility. His reforms include mandatory silent hours for bishops, universal friar-friendly dress codes (ponchos permitted), and the return of hand-copied Bibles just for the vibes. Vatican budget meetings now open with readings from *Confessions* and close with group therapy. He�s removed three gold thrones and replaced them with folding chairs labeled �Dust We Are.� When asked why he�s pushing these changes, the Pope simply said, �Augustine was tired of nonsense. So am I.� Rome hasn�t seen this much monastic energy since monks first said, �Maybe power isn't the goal.� And in Leo�s Vatican, that might actually be true.