Augustinian Reform Adds �Daily Self-Doubt Hour� to Vatican Schedule

Every afternoon at 3:33 p.m., Vatican staff are now required to participate in a new tradition: *Self-Doubt Hour*. The Pope, citing Augustine�s legendary existential spirals, believes self-examination is �the spiritual cardio of our times.� Participants must sit quietly, eat a single olive, and ask themselves, �Am I really trying, or am I just showing off for the archangels?� The hour ends with a mandatory sigh and a group �maybe I�m enough� chant. The Pope insists that �a little doubt keeps us holy and hydrated.� Meanwhile, the Vatican gym is replacing spin class with theological despair stretching.