Asstr Daddy Daughter

Asstr Daddy Daughter

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My 7-year-old daughter adores her daddy. Actually, that’s an understatement. She is infatuated with him. She writes him elaborate love letters on a daily basis. Smothers him with affection all the time. As they pinch each other’s cheeks, they clench their teeth and communicate in their own ear-piercing, screeching language. Her nickname for him is “Big Squeezie.” His hand towel accompanies her to bed so she can inhale his scent as she peacefully drifts off to sleep.
With sleep still in my eyes, as I lay in his massive bed, I’d watch him get ready for work. As he knotted his tie, I’d eagerly wait for the moment he would playfully swipe its silky fabric down my face. I felt visible.
We would sit and talk on the large, soft sofa in front of the big bay window. My skinny arms wrapped around his neck. My face buried in his chest. Breathing in the sweet, subtle smell of his cologne. I felt safe.
When he got back from business trips, I’d run to greet him at the door. He’d always arrive with a smile and that same gift. Books. Beautiful, new, text-scented books that opened my eyes to the world beyond and served as a sweet reminder that I was on his mind while he was away. I felt loved.
One of our very first dates was dinner and a show at the Westchester Evening Dinner Theatre. I got all dressed up and was giddy with excitement on the way there. I felt beautiful.
He was exceptional at math and would help me with my studies. I felt lucky.
He taught religious education class but never stuck to the curriculum. All the kids wanted him as their teacher. The deacon disliked him. I felt proud.
He’d take me for rides on the tractor. The warmth of his large chest against my small back. Engine roaring, wind in my hair, fresh cut grass in my lungs. I felt alive.
His laugh was loud and infectious. Hearing it made my heart soar.
On the dance floor, he only slow danced . That was enough for me.
He was everything a girl could want in a boy. Humble, selfless, hard-working, honest, patient, and kind. Still is.
Laura Bagnarol is the founder of Be Big Be Brave LLC, a company that provides inspiring programs that encourage kids to be their big, brave selves. She is also the daughter of two Italian immigrants, the sister to five amazing siblings, the wife of one incredible husband, and the mom of three fiery children. Laura lives in the Hudson Valley region of New York. You can follow her @bebigbebrave.
This is not only written for my dad, but for all the dads out there who aren’t the typical, everyday dads. The hands-on dad, the dad who goes on bike rides, the dad who watches his grandbabies. The dad who creates a legacy whether he realizes it or not. The world needs more of you. It’s not every day you get a dad who enters a diaper changing contest and comes in second place. Yes, that happened to my dad. He would take me up to the local mall to walk around and one of the stores was holding a...
Between video chats with our son stationed overseas, our daughter flits in and out our door from college while the shoe jungle by the front door and lack of peanut butter in the house are proof our youngest adult son is still under our roof. Our kids are now independent—almost. Gone are the days of diapers, endless food preparations, naps (well, not for me), and announcing everyone’s daily schedule like a calendar drill sergeant. After years of simultaneously spinning multiple plates on various body parts, we managed—by God’s grace—to raise three kids to adulthood. We made it! (High five!) We...
You just finished another chaotic FaceTime call. Chubby toddler fingers hung up several times, hoping to catch that elusive red button. He ran from his mom and your view was straight up that adorable nose for about half the conversation. His 4-year-old brother alternated between refusing to talk and giving a doctoral lecture on carnivorous dinosaurs. You’re a little frustrated. You’re a little heartbroken. Frankly, you’re a little dizzy from them running rogue with the phone through the house. But you accept it. In fact, you cherish that crazy call because you are rocking a role you never imagined for...
I have always been a Daddy’s girl, much to my mom’s frustration. She always said my dad and I were wired the same, and that’s why it’s always just “worked.” Sure, we have had our struggles and frustrations—when two people think almost the exact same way, certainly there will be battles. But my dad has always had my back, without fail. Whether he had to question a school decision or staff my senior class retreat (yes, my dad is featured in my high school yearbook), I knew he would be there. He thought he would lose me someday, that having...
She was so pretty. So pretty it was hard to look away from that porcelain skin, those high cheekbones, stunning green eyes with just the right amount of sparkle and depth, and shiny black hair. And those lips, perfectly plump with neatly applied lipstick, always ready to give a kiss on the cheek or a knowing smile. More than pretty, she was beautiful—you know, beautiful inside and out. She was classy. Not fancy or prim and proper, not snobby—just classy. A certain air about her that made you notice and appreciate her presence when she walked into the room. She...
I am your only son’s first and only love. We met in college. From the moment I met you, mother-in-law, I felt like I wasn’t good enough. I have been married to him for 15 years. I have given you two beautiful granddaughters. Yet, I never thought you loved me . . . until this week. Bridal showers. Weddings. New babies. Christmas. Easter. Birthday parties. I never felt included in the big family events. Of course, I was invited. Yet, being invited is not the same thing as being included. My feelings have been crushed so many times over the...
Glennon Doyle says, “The miracle of grace is that you can give what you have never gotten.” It’s one of my favorites among her quotes. And every time I read it, I think That’s my mom. Because those beautiful words are telling her story. Growing up she never got the gift of a warm mother. She never had that feeling of being loved fiercely and unconditionally. She never had that sense of security from those meant to protect her. She never got the peace of a stable or happy home. She never had someone who was always in her corner,...
To all the “faraway grandmas and grandpas”—this is what my children call my parents. They live in central Canada, and we live on the East Coast. Four provinces apart. Two plane rides away. About a 32-hour drive according to Google—and that’s driving straight through without stopping. Believe me when I say you are dearly missed. It’s not easy for anyone. Not for me. Not for you. Not for your grandchildren. I know I am the one who chose to move away. At the time I wanted to—I wanted to leave home . . . travel somewhere different, explore new surroundings,...
I’d never heard of apartment sofas until last month, probably because I had hand-me-down living room furniture when I was a young adult. My overstuffed couches had bulky arms and gold brocade or floral patterns that grandmothers liked but could be covered with strategically placed throw blankets. It took at least two strong male friends paid with plenty of pizza and beer to carry the couches from the pickup truck or U-Haul to the apartments. Recently, I went furniture shopping with my daughter who accepted her first job to begin soon after her fast-approaching college graduation. She’ll be moving...
“My hands are getting so old,” my mother said. “They’re ugly.” We were sitting together having a glass of wine, and she held the glass up as she looked at them. I looked at them too. I didn’t see ugly hands. I saw hands that had rocked me to sleep. Hands that reached for mine as I took my first steps. Hands that wiped away my tears. On my first day at school. After I fell and skinned my knee. The first time my heart was broken. When I lost my baby. Hands that clapped for me. My first play....

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The couple was living in a room with one bed and a couch with a “fold out” mattress at the Avalon Hotel in Blackman Township. They were having sex and their daughter, now 4, got into their bed.
It was the woman who alerted the authorities to the sexual abuse, Lyons said.
JACKSON, MI – A 28-year-old man said his wife suggested the couple introduce their 3-year-old daughter into their sex life.
“She said we should spice things up,” the man testified during his wife's preliminary examination Friday, Nov. 8, before Jackson County Circuit Judge R. Darryl Mazur
His wife held down the girl’s arms while he tried to penetrate the child, the man said.
The girl was crying and her mother was telling her to relax, he said.
They eventually moved the girl “off to the side” and the husband and wife “finished having sex,” he testified.
Mazur heard his statements and found there was probable cause to believe the woman, 36, participated in and perpetuated this and other sexual acts from October 2012 until May.
Assistant Prosecutor Jennifer Walker moved to amend the allegations against her , and the woman now faces seven counts of first-degree criminal sexual conduct and one count of first-degree child abuse. She originally was charged with two counts of first-degree criminal sexual conduct.
Mazur agreed to alter the charges and sent the woman’s case to circuit court, where it will be handled by Judge John McBain.
He revoked the woman’s bond. Both she and her husband, married about five years, remain in the county jail.
Their names are being withheld because they share a last name with their daughter and the Citizen Patriot typically does not publish the names of victims in sexual assault cases.
Last month, the man pleaded guilty to two counts of first-degree criminal sexual conduct , a felony punishable by up to life in prison. He will serve at least 25 years because of the girl's age and he could serve consecutive terms of 25 years or more for each count.
As part of a plea agreement, the prosecutor’s office is dismissing 10 other criminal sexual conduct counts and the man has to testify truthfully against his wife.
The woman’s lawyer, George Lyons, contends the man is not a credible witness. He said he plans to prove this.
When Lyons questioned him Friday, the man admitted he was not pleased because his wife “turned him in as a child rapist.”
Lyons said, in defending the woman, he intends to argue the man controlled his wife through drugs and physical abuse.
When he and his wife sexually assaulted their daughter, he said he was only using alcohol.
The man described two other sexual events during which the pair involved their daughter. One was similar to the first.
On the third occasion, the man said the couple was again having sex. Their daughter had removed her diaper and he said his wife picked her up and placed her on her father while he was on his back.
He said the girl was again crying and asking “why?”
Assistant Prosecutor Steven Idema had to coax this testimony from the man, who at first said there were only two incidents involving his wife.
“I tried to forget the whole thing to be honest,” the man said before he was shown a copy of his statement to police, which helped refresh his memory.
The man said his wife also had watched, without stopping him, as he sexually assaulted their daughter. The girl was “saying, ‘No,’ over and over again.”
When asked how many times he abused his daughter, the man could not provide a number.
“You can’t even count the times,” Lyons said.
Lyons pointed out some discrepancies in the man’s statements.
“You’ve told so many stories you can’t keep them straight can you?” Lyons said.
The man said his recollection is accurate.
Blackman-Leoni Township public safety Detective Sgt. Christopher Boulter said the man’s credibility is bolstered by the fact he pleaded guilty to two counts of an offense that could put him in prison for the rest of his life.
Of course a defense lawyer would attack the believe-ability of a key witness, Prosecutor Jerry Jarzynka said.
Jarzynka called the cases a “horrible series of incidents.”
“If you are 3 years old, you would expect your mom and dad to look out for your best interest," he said.
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