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If you’re wondering how to stretch your anus safely or just want to learn more about what anal stretching is, Bespoke Surgical has created a complete guide to answer all your questions. Our anal stretching guide will teach you how to stretch your asshole safely without risking an anal fissure .
Bespoke Surgical’s elite NYC anal surgery practice provides hand-tailored, expert care for every patient. If you have more questions or concerns involving your anal stretch, consider contacting us today.
Just like working out any part of your body, sphincter muscles also need to be trained for maximum flexibility. This anal training process, also called anal stretching or dilation, often involves the act of opening, widening, or stretching the anus with tools called anal dilators or anal expanders. It is often done after surgical procedures on the anus to restore the area to its normal state or as a method to prevent anal fissures. Anal stretching can make passing stool and/or sexual activity more comfortable and is imperative to both functionality, along with the aesthetics desired. To learn how to stretch your sphincter muscles and anal muscles, keep reading. If you’re new to anal intercourse, consider checking out Bespoke’s Science of Anal Sex blog post.
Most people have a difficult time with complete sphincter relaxation, during both defecation and intercourse. The goal of anal stretching is to train the muscles to be able to easily relax and loosen up when needed. Being able to relax the sphincter muscles is especially important if you partake in anal play or anal sex (bottoming).
Anal training and following a dilation protocol is also important for the prevention of anal fissures. If you are unable to fully relax, this could increase your chances of tears and fissures which could lead to pain and a possible need for surgery.
Understanding anal anatomy and muscular contractility is a must in sexual education, all in the hopes of long lasting and powerful experiences. Unfortunately, the knowledge of both how to relax your anus and how to correctly play have been lacking in most educational curriculums and even in the majority of physicians’ offices. As it pertains to anything in anal play, one must think of the sphincter as having two major functions:
In order to learn how to stretch your anus muscles, you have to understand how they work. The muscles within the entire anal sphincter, independently and together as a whole, are responsible for the functions of contracting, pushing out, and squeezing or pulling things in. Learning how to control both of these functions will ultimately allow you to relax your sphincter during anal intercourse.
Anal training and stretching is extremely effective if done properly. This will take a lot of practice and an understanding of anal anatomy and muscular contractility. One is sorely (no pun intended) mistaken to think one can just shove a penis, toy, butt plug, or other object into the anus and have it be an effective method of anal dilation.
This is why the team at Bespoke Surgical has created an anal dilation protocol that will expertly guide you on your anal stretching and dilation journey. One part of understanding how to stretch the sphincter muscles is simply repetition. The reason this protocol is effective is because it creates a neural mechanism from the brain to the anus to improve that relaxation when called upon.
Learning once how to stretch your asshole won’t guarantee it works every time. It takes time and patience for anal training to work. In order to have a fruitful encounter, while minimizing injury, dilation is key — both before you ever start engaging anally and also in between the times of when you do engage. Like any other muscle, learning how to relax your sphincter muscle will require constant exercise. If it doesn’t experience that relaxation control, it will go back to being too tight, accompanied by painful experiences or even worse — anal fissures, hemorrhoids, and the like.
Below, we’ve created an anal stretching guide to help you learn how to stretch your anus. Before starting the anal stretching protocol, Dr. Goldstein recommends obtaining anal dilators . Try purchasing an anal dilation trainer kit, which usually comes with 3-4 sizes that increase in both length and girth.
Dr. Goldstein recommends the following process for starting anal stretching:
One may feel discomfort during the rectal dilation process — this is completely normal — but cease use if you witness any pain. It takes time and the key is more mental control of how one can contract or relax and learn to control like any other muscle we have. If one has ever topped someone and they can completely open their anus, it’s not due to looseness, but rather more about anal control. If any issues arise during this process, please make an appointment to see Dr. Goldstein so that he can help get you on the right path. There may be other factors at play, which are limiting one’s ability to successfully bottom.
For more information, read about anal botox and how it may help move the dilation process along.
If anal fissures persist, even after you have tried the dilation protocol at home, or you are finding that you may need extra help with the process, please make an appointment to see Dr. Goldstein. While the at-home training should be an effective method of anal fissure prevention, there may be a need for surgical correction or in-office physical therapy.
What preparation is needed for anal stretching?
No prep is needed for anal stretching other than having a normal bowel movement. Setting the stage for success includes a positive mood and mindset, as well as your surroundings. Dr. Goldstein usually recommend doing your exercises in the shower, while warm or hot water is running or right before a shower, both of which can help aid in relaxation. Be sure to have all of your supplies ready before you get started and remember that this includes lots of lube (this is paramount).
What positions work best for anal training?
There aren’t any specific positions that work best for anal stretching and training. What’s more important is what feels comfortable for you. Understanding your anatomy, with all its internal angles and curves, sets the stage for successful dilating and play.
You’ll want direct, straight-in access, paying attention to your sphincter muscles upon entry. This means that it may be best lying on your back or on all fours and using a repetitive motion, going in-and-out, until you hit resistance. This controlled pressure, with continued gaping, will allow for the relaxation we need that will assist in anal stretching. You may need a bit of trial and error to see what feels right. I also encourage you to switch things up because we want to simulate future play as best we can and sometimes that takes on a mind of its own–or many different positions.
Is anal stretching permanent? How often do you need to dilate?
Unfortunately, anal stretching is not permanent and anal training is a continuous process. You should make these exercises a weekly ritual. You have two options: engaging in anal sex or playing with butt plugs or dilators 2-3 times a week to dilate. As you get more advanced, you should be using your butt plugs or anal dilators for both stretching and tightening–the dilation will keep you ready to bottom, while the contractions will keep the muscles and skin in check. Dr. Goldstein’s protocol allows for risk and injury prevention, as well as pleasurable engagement, alone or with others.
What happens if the anus is stretched?
When your anus stretches, the ring of muscle known as the sphincter opens. If it stretches further than the anal tissue is accustomed to, the tissue may tear, causing an anal fissure. This can happen during a hard bowel movement or rough intercourse, causing discomfort and occasionally bleeding. By training anal tissue with our dilator protocol, you can let your anal musculature grow accustomed to opening and closing consciously.
If you’re following our dilator protocol above, your anus should be stretched as much as needed. For those who want to maintain an optimally tight anus — one that is able to stretch enough to comfortably enjoy anal sex without losing pleasurable sensations (e.g. becoming too loose), then check out our Guide to Kegel Exercises for Men .
On days you’re not engaging in anal play or training anal tissue with our dilator protocol, try relaxing your abdomen then squeezing just your anus and pelvic floor muscles—as if you were trying to stop urinating – for about five to 10 seconds. Repeat that about five times a day.
Anal stretching can be a great way to gain control over your sphincter muscles and help you open up for both intercourse and defecation. Taking your time and following a strict protocol will prevent injury and help you train your anus faster.
If you have the opposite problem – a loose anus – we have a Guide to Tightening a Loose Anus and Gaining Sphincter Strength you can read for further details.
Dr. Evan Goldstein is the Founder and CEO of Bespoke Surgical, NYC’s leading sexual health private practice. He received his osteopathic doctorate from the University of Medicine and Dentistry School in 2002 and completed his residency in General Surgery at Maimonides Medical Center. In 2020, he was named one of NYC’s top LGBTQ+ business leaders by Crain’s New York and he is involved with GLSEN, ACRIA, HRC, and Callen-Lorde’s Howard J. Brown Society. All of these experiences and affiliations have shaped his whole-life approach towards the practice of private surgical care and sexual wellness.
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This page was medically reviewed by Dr. Evan Goldstein on February 5, 2021.
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Julie Wilkinson is a registered nurse and book author who has worked in both palliative care and critical care.
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Exercises to strengthen and tighten your anal sphincter may help treat bowel incontinence ( fecal incontinence ) or reduce your chance of leaking stool or gas in the future. Your anal sphincter is made up of thick bands of muscle. They surround the entrance of your anus and can open and close.

The anal sphincter keeps stool inside your body until you are ready to have a bowel movement. These muscles can be strengthened through exercise. 1

Bowel control problems are surprisingly common. They affect 36% of primary care patients in the United States (and it's thought that this number may be even higher). 2 Sadly, most people don't realize that simple exercises may improve not only their social and sex life but the quality of life in general.

This article discusses the anal sphincter, how fecal incontinence affects it, and what you can do to strengthen this part of your body. It will also talk about what a doctor can do to help you.

Knowing the muscles that control your anal sphincter and how they work makes it easier to understand the strengthening exercises you can use to improve them.

The internal anal sphincter is an involuntary muscle, which means you cannot consciously control it. 3 Similar to your beating heart and your diaphragm , this muscle does its job every second of the day without you having to think about its function.

The internal sphincter is programmed to stay shut. This is why most adults do not leak stool while they sleep. However, you can control your external sphincter muscles, which can help you keep control of your bowels.

The organs in your lower pelvis, such as your bladder and colon , are supported by a large group of muscles called the pelvic floor muscles . Working with your anal sphincter, the pelvic floor muscles help you stop embarrassing gas and stool leaks.

These are the muscles that you squeeze tightly when you feel diarrhea coming on and there's no nearby restroom. Likewise, these muscles also help you control urine flow and flatulence (gas).

As we age, bladder incontinence and fecal incontinence can occur due to loss of muscle tone in the pelvic floor. Weakness may occur in younger people as well.

It might begin as having less control than usual over passing gas. Or maybe you leak a little urine or stool when you sneeze or quickly stand up. But it can progress to the inability to control your bladder or bowels completely.

Factors leading to fecal incontinence include: 4

If you are struggling with leakage of gas or stool, it's important to first talk to your doctor. New cases should always be carefully studied. And this may include tests such as an electromyography (EMG) or an ultrasound.

There are many treatable diagnoses that can lead to fecal incontinence. In those instances, simply tightening the pelvic floor muscles with exercise would not be effective. It could even interfere with you getting the right treatment for an underlying medical condition.

If you do not have a disease or functional problem that is causing your fecal incontinence, you can work to tighten the sphincter and pelvic floor muscles in the privacy of your own home. It will take just a few minutes of exercise each day. The Kegel exercise —consciously tightening your pelvic floor muscles—has been around for decades. And it is very simple to do. 1

If you've ever stopped your urine flow midstream or consciously held in gas, then you have already done a Kegel. For women who may have had Kegel exercises recommended after childbirth, it's the same thing.

The key to Kegel exercises is knowing which muscles to contract—it's the same muscle group you use to stop your urine flow. You may wish to urinate and start and stop your stream to make sure you know the muscles involved.

Men might feel the muscles differently than women—most men report feeling tightness around the anus whereas many women feel the pull closer to the vagina.

You can practice your Kegels standing or lying down. But if you're a beginner, it may be helpful to try the exercise while seated in a firm chair:

It might help to think of these muscles as an elevator. As you contract (squeeze) them, the elevator slowly rises to the top. As you gently release the tension on your muscles, imagine the elevator returning to ground level.

Do two sets of this exercise per day, or 10 repetitions. 5 No one has to know that you're exercising your pelvic floor. You can do Kegels sitting at your desk or waiting in your car at a stoplight.

If you're doing the exercise correctly, you should actually feel the pelvic floor muscles lifting. It may be difficult to contract these muscles for a full 10 seconds. But as your muscle tone improves, it will become easier. If you repeat the exercise a few times daily, you should see an improvement in just a few months.

When you're trying to strengthen any muscles, it's important to be patient. If you've ever tried to get in shape more quickly by lifting too much weight or running too many miles, you know that trying to hurry the process along can backfire.

Don't overdo it. In this case, more is not better. You can actually fatigue these muscles and cause a little bit of temporary incontinence.

When the weakness of the pelvic floor muscles isn't due to an irreversible injury (such as complete spinal cord injuries), many people improve with these exercises. For some, the problem goes away completely. Other people may find that their symptoms don't go away. But there are many options to treat your fecal incontinence.

If you aren't noticing a change, it's important to make sure you are doing the exercises correctly. Your doctor may refer you to a physical therapist to assist you. It's important to find a therapist who has experience working with people who live with pelvic floor muscle dysfunction.

A 2018 study found that people who received supervised pelvic floor muscle training (that is, they worked with a physical therapist) were five times more likely to report improvements in fecal incontinence than those who did the exercises on their own. 6

Biofeedback is a technique that is used to help you learn to control body functions. During this treatment, you are connected to electrical sensors. The sensors give the healthcare provider information about your body so they can coach you during the exercises.

A 2015 study found that using a combination of pelvic floor physical therapy and biofeedback worked better than pelvic floor muscle exercises alone. In addition, adding electrical stimulation ( sacral nerve stimulation ) to these two therapies improved results even more. 7

Bowel incontinence, also known as fecal incontinence, is a common problem. It occurs when you leak stool or gas. Your doctor can help pinpoint any problems you may be having that cause the incontinence.

Your doctor may suggest you try strengthening your anal sphincter
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