Asshole Behind Thong

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Asshole Behind Thong
Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
​Why Is There Poop on My Thong? An Investigation
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If you are a woman who wears a thong, perhaps you have encountered a moment wherein upon removal of said thong, there is something which appears to be poop-like on the string. You know how to wipe; hygiene is a priority to you. This is no doubt poop-plexing. What is causing this scourge? And how to avoid it?
Anecdotally, women who favor a thong have been known to issue the complaint that they get rather upset when they have to poop after they've showered, because it ruins their underwear. No matter how aggressively they wipe, even if they dig in there a little bit, eventually a skid mark ends up on their thong.
Hard to say how deep and dirty this issue runs. But online, women were obviously compelled as far as Yahoo! Answers to address it thusly :
Ladies how do you keep your thongs from getting poop on them after you go to the bathroom? It seems like no matter how much I wipe I always end up with tracks...what's your secret?
Summer skincare Their Art Deco sugar scrub sloughs off dead skin, and solid body butters, like the grapefruit and May Chang bar with shea butter, smooth everything out.
Sometimes, the questions aren't so direct, but rather, poop-thong complaints are revealed in the comments' sections of articles about the potential health risks of thongs. In a HuffPo piece about thong hygiene , commenter Tissa says , quite literally, "what do you expect?" After all, they are in your butt all day:
But the issues laid out in the article above are more of the infection-related-to-bacteria issue. To paraphrase: Sexy thongs may not be made of cotton, which means they are less breathable. Even if the crotch is cotton, the panel outside of it traps the moisture inside. The vulva is more vulnerable because there's less material covering it, and the material moves more often, meaning bacteria has more opportunities to travel, particularly E.coli from the back to the front:
Infections can occur when the balance of the vaginal environment, including the moisture levels from vaginal secretions, is thrown off, says Dr. Ghofrany. The most common? Yeast infections and bacterial infections, mainly bacterial vaginosis. The extra bacteria usually manifests with increased discharge, which leads to what Dr. Ghofrany calls the "vicious cycle of thong use": the increase in discharge leads to an increased use of panty liners, which leads to even more trapped moisture, which leads to more infections and more discharge.
Thongs also carry the risk of external irritation. "I see more patients with skin tags on their vulva and near their rectum, in the exact distribution of the thongs," Dr. Ghofrany tells us. "I sometimes will be mid-pap and ask a patient, 'So you wear thongs a lot?' And their response is always 'Ya! How can you tell?' And it's because of the skin tags, small 'piles' of soft tissue that occur from the skin being constantly rubbed in the same spot. These happen traditionally at bra lines and neck lines, and now increasingly at thong lines!"
Also, this can be worse on your period, due to the changing pH, an environment in which more bacteria can grow. The ultimate advice here is to maintain hygiene "down there" and also wash the underwear often. But nothing specific is addressed about the staining issue.
In response to a post from a mother whose daughter is a 10 th grader wearing thong underwear, "Anonymous" felt compelled to snark this question at 1:33 a.m.:
don't you love the poop stains from the butt crack in thong underwear?
A frustrated poster on youbemom.com added this to the Internet thong poop debate in February this year:
Obviously, people have theories about what is going on here. Back at the first Yahoo! Answers question asking how ladies keep the poop off their thongs, we are privy to many variations on the first theory that probably comes to mind. In summation:
You need to use some water on that.
You need to use wet wipes in there.
I asked a nurse practitioner to discuss some possibilities with me for this phenomenon. Her first suspicion is that it is a cleanliness issue. Her theories were, in order of likelihood:
Not wiping as fastidiously as imagined.
Fecal incontinence is more common, she said, in women who are post-partum, or have a history of a traumatic vaginal delivery (often with use of forceps). There are plenty of other things that can cause FI, she added, like chronic constipation, diarrhea, IBS, and medications. Risk also increases with age. But the issue would be a regular occurrence in those cases, and not something that only happens after bowel movements. But if this issue only happens after you poop, then it is more likely an issue with wiping.
I have an uneducated armchair theory that perhaps women who experience this hard-to-wipe good scenario have messy poops. You know, a poop where it just seems like you have to wipe forever . It happens ! That could be related to other bowel issues, like IBS , but if that were the case, there would be other issues aside from just cleanliness. But if all else is good to go and you are just having messy poops, you could always try more fiber. WHO DOESN'T NEED MORE FIBER?
But maybe the issue is just this: A thong string is going to get up in there. If you're devoted to them, devote yourself to the best, most state-of-the-art, A-game wiping techniques as a preventive measure. According to Go Ask Alice! at Columbia University's health site (and my favorite site ever), who was recently asked about proper ass-wiping techniques for thong wearing, those tactics include :
Heed this advice. Until the magical no-wipe poop is achieved, this seems like the best we can do.






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The first time my Midwestern mother hit the beach in my father's homeland of Uruguay, he was mortified by her swimwear . This was Punta Del Este in the '80s, so there's no doubt it was nylon with an obnoxious neon print, but that wasn't the issue. It wasn't that her bikini was too revealing either. Being a good girl from Kansas, she made sure her booty was modestly covered by bikini bottoms that were far from cheeky—and strangely, that 's what made him blush.


It was the norm in South America at the time for women, and even some men, to wear colaless (literally bottomless) bikinis. As opposed to string bikinis, narrow strips of butt floss, or low-rider bottoms, the colaless style featured thong bottoms with thick straps cut so high on the leg, that they seemed to create an optical illusion that the hips start just under the chest (think: that iconic Pamela Anderson's Baywatch swimsuit). My mom was slender, tanned, and fit (thanks to her love of Jazzercise), so you bet she looked killer in that bikini with its V-hips when she finally caved in and bought her first colaless bikini.


I didn't inherit my mother's silhouette or freakish lack of cellulite. Instead, I was blessed with my paternal grandmother's short, voluptuous body—and her indigenous features of straight hair, high cheekbones, and soft, hairless skin. My mom must have forgotten her days of lounging in the sun in a thong because she always steered me toward full-coverage bottoms. She'd point out that fashion magazines always suggested ruffled tops for flat-chested girls and one-pieces with accentuated waists for curvy girls like me. The glossy pages featured minimal bottoms exclusively on tall, skinny chicas with body types dubbed "athletic."


My reaction? Screw that. This booty is just as worthy of soaking up the sun like any other. I was never allowed to wear skimpy swimsuits back home in Kansas, where they were considered scandalous. But when we'd visit Uruguay, I'd see all shapes and sizes of people exposing their butt cheeks as they relaxed in the sand and splashed around in the sea. It wasn't even necessarily a question of confidence or sex appeal —it was one of style; colaless bottoms were the coolest choice of swimwear and everyone owned a pair. It's sort of like going topless in Spain. As a teenager, I'd forcefully participate by "forgetting" my more modest swimwear back in the States and buying a new skimpy bikini each time we visited Punta Del Este.


I've never not had a booty, and I've never not wanted to bronze it in the sun. To be honest, it's not much of an act of defiance against beauty standards, in my case. I find that smaller cuts are actually more flattering on my curvaceous behind, while more coverage just frames it like a wide, shapeless blob. After living off of noodles and rice in Southeast Asia for over a year, my behind is plumper than ever, and the more sun-kissed my butt is, the more confident I feel (plus who likes tan lines?). It's been known that a bit of sun (acquired with mineral SPF to protect your skin! ) can help conceal imperfections and my tush has plenty that I prefer to hide. I can't ignore my stretch marks, acne scars, and cellulite when my behind is pasty in the winter. My thong swimsuits aren't brave or brazen—I wear them because they're what makes me feel good, which makes me look good.


Wearing my colaless bottoms on beaches around the globe has also been a tool for embracing my Latina culture as I accept and celebrate my perfectly healthy and functioning body. My thick body has taken me to over 50 countries, often in itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny thong bikinis. That said, I don't exactly recommend baring it all in conservative countries. Even I, a hater of tan lines, occasionally rocked full-coverage bottoms at certain public beaches over the last few months in Southeast Asia. I have, however, seen thong bikinis in the United Arab Emirates and topless girls lying on the beach in India.


My mother still isn't a fan of my barely-there swimwear choices and always tells me it looks like I have an epic wedgie. I know she's worried about unwanted advances and stares from men as I bare my beach bum worldwide. I've gone to nude beaches in Montenegro and Croatia without anyone paying any attention to me, yet at home in Ft. Lauderdale, Fla., men have gathered to stare at my behind. I swat them away like a flock of annoying seagulls. I've been so disappointed to hear so many women shame other girls that have decided to go colaless and make crude comments about their figures and swimwear choices.


The thong bikini was made for all of us. It's not just for Kim Kardashian West with her bodacious behind or Emily Ratajkowski with her tiny tush, both of whom can be credited for popularizing the style and rocking it with unparalleled confidence. My body is "beach ready" and deserves to be celebrated year-round. If you don't like it, don't look.


This Is What Your Thong Is Doing To Your Butt
Amanda Schupak is a health, science, and technology journalist. As a writer and editor, she has covered topics including women's health, nutrition, psychology, climate and environment, consumer technology, cybersecurity, and space exploration. Her work has been published in Popular Science, O, The Oprah Magazine, Forbes, CBS News, and others. She... Read more
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Thanks to someone deciding at some point that panty lines are an unforgivable sin, a lot of us ladies are walking around with our underwear up our asses—on purpose! Many women are big fans of the thong , while others only enter the void when they really have to (I think you can tell which camp I’m in). Whether you’re doing it with pleasure or constantly reminding yourself not to pick your wedgie because it’s supposed to be there , there are a couple things you should know about what’s going on along the great divide.
We tapped Leah Millheiser, M.D., an ob/gyn and director of the female sexual medicine program at Stanford University School of Medicine, who tells SELF that in her practice she definitely sees women who have chafing as a result of wearing thong underwear .
Millheiser says that while thongs are perfectly safe—they’re not going to do any long-term damage or anything—they can definitely rub you the wrong way, especially if they’re on the small side. If you’re noticing irritation or discomfort, her advice is to take a break for a week or two to let your skin heal inside some regular underwear. To avoid future irritation, she suggests opting for cotton thongs, which have more give than other materials, and possibly going up a size. “Thongs shouldn’t be painful,” she says. “If you notice it’s there, it’s too small.”
She recommends using Vaseline or a similar ointment to protect the skin and reduce friction, but advises against talcum powder (gyns typically don’t want you to use anything in or around the vagina , but talcum powder in particular comes with some unfounded but unsettling health-concern baggage ).
As for the question of whether the skinny part of a pair can shuttle bacteria from your backside to your front parts, Millheiser says not to worry. “There’s fecal matter around the vagina all the time,” she affirms. (Phew?) “That’s why women get UTIs — E. coli is often present around opening.” That string between your cheeks isn’t making the situation any worse: “To get that area [of the underwear] touching the anus all the way to the opening of urethra you’d have to pull it all the way around and really rub it around,” she says. So, like, don’t do that and you should be all good.
You may also like: These Guys Tried On Their Girlfriends' Thongs And Found Out How Much It Sucks
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