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: ludicrously disordered : showing an arrangement grotesquely counter to the usual or workable

incompetents doing their work in an ass-backward way

variants:
or ass-backwards \
ˈ⸗ˈ⸗⸗
\

: in a completely disordered or improper way : in an ass-backward way

an inexperienced assistant filing everything ass-backward

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Definition of ass-backward (Entry 2 of 2)

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To be out of order or reversed; very confused or mixed up ; completely fouled up or wrong.

'Ass' refers to the rear end or buttocks, and 'backwards' means reversed. The phrase suggests that something is happening the wrong way, with the rear coming first. ('Ass' is an impolite word, so be careful using this phrase.)

Synonym: snafu
1) Jeb , you're riding that donkey ass backwards! Turn around!

2) You installed these windows ass backwards - the screens are supposed to be on the outside!
To do something totally wrong or stupid, whether intentionally or not . Something that is the opposite of itself. To be stupid or slow .
Did you see him curse out his girlfriend ? That's just ass backwards.
to do something the exact opposite way that any normal person would do it. to defy logic by carrying out an act with no hope of accomplishing anything purposeful .
purposely doing something wrong to prove a really stupid point.
he attemped the task in an ass backward's fashion, despite all indication from his friend that he was doing it wrong.
The way people are processing the information is totally ass-backwards.
A person acting ass backwards on an ongoing basis .
Trump's speech was ass backwards . No surprise there. Trump is one mofo, assed backwards , whack job .
Doing things the wrong way. Starting from the wrong end .

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Jacob is a lifestyle blogger who writes about men's grooming, style, and health.
Want to shave the hair on your bum? Here's how.
Many men have hair on their buttocks and around their anus—it’s quite normal and natural. The hair on your butt does serve a purpose; it helps minimize friction and chafing while also keeping the area ventilated and dry.
However, a growing number of men are removing their body hair, including their tail feathers.
Some people ask, why would someone want to do this? There are a number of horror stories about pubic shaving, but for men who can master the art, it is well worth the reward.
Removing body hair can make you look and feel clean, plus it can also be sexually arousing and stimulating not only to you but to your partner (that is, of course, if your partner prefers a smooth bum—some don't).
Follow these step-by-step instructions for shaving your bum.
You want to make sure you don't introduce any new bacteria to your skin while you are shaving, so thoroughly clean your body and then completely dry off.
A hot shower or bath is recommended—this will help soften the hair and prepare your skin. Be sure to dry off with a fresh towel as a re-used towel may contain bacteria.
Step 2: Clean and Disinfect Your Razor
While I recommend you start with a fresh razor, if you happen to be using a razor that's relatively new, then you first want to make sure you remove any existing debris and bacteria.
You can remove hair lodged between the blades by running the blade under a heavy stream of water or gently tapping the razor on the base of the sink. Once you've cleaned the razor, pour a little rubbing alcohol over the top of the blades to kill any bacteria.
If you're using an electric groomer, you can clean the unit by opening the razor and removing stray hairs. To disinfect the unit, dab some alcohol onto a cotton swab and wipe the blades.
Step 3: Trim the Hair on Your Buttocks
If the hair on your butt is long, you will need to trim it down so you can effectively use your manual razor or body groomer. A clogged razor will make your shaving more difficult and could create some painful snagging as hairs get stuck.
For most body grooming you do, you can generally use just an electric groomer or a manual razor. But, in the case of shaving your buttocks, you really need both to achieve an effective shave. The electric body groomer is great for removing hair on the cheeks but usually too big to get around the anus, so you need a manual razor for that area.
If the hair is thick, then I'd recommend using the Phillips Norelco Bodygroom Pro —the #1 best-selling body groomer on Amazon and a favorite among well-trimmed men.
You can use this unit to trim down the hair on your buttocks before shaving with a razor. If you just want to shave your cheeks, then you can use the shaving head to achieve a closer shave, but you won't be able to really use this unit "between the cheeks."
What I like about this unit is the dual-end shaving it offers; the shaving head at the top is great for close shaves, and the trimmer at the bottom of the unit with the hair guard is great for trimming down hair. This unit retails for about $70 and is a great investment for all your body grooming needs.
If you don't have a lot of hair on your buttocks or you are in between trims, then you should be able to use the Wahl Micro Groomsman .
This unit is small enough that you can use it around the anus. If you want to avoid a manual razor altogether, then you should pair this with the Bodygroom Pro, and both should be able to fulfill all your grooming needs. This unit retails for about $9 on Amazon.
This unit is great when there is just a little hair that needs to be trimmed, but if the hair is thick and long, then you're going to want to use the Philips Norelco Bodygroom Pro described above.
If you want a close, super smooth shave, then you're going to need to use a manual razor (after you have trimmed down the hair with a body groomer). I highly recommend the Schick Quattro Titanium razors ; I think they are one of the best manual razors you can use for body grooming.
The blades are wrapped in wires to prevent you from pressing too deeply into the skin, thus minimizing nicks and irritation, like razor bumps. Eight cartridges will run you about $17 on Amazon.
Step 4: Apply Shaving Gel or Cream to Your Buttocks
Squeeze a small amount of shave gel into your palm, add a little water, and then apply to one of your buttocks (just one, not both); next, rinse hands clean and dry them. The reason you want to apply to just one cheek is so that you can easily pull them apart without your hands slipping—this will make it easier to shave.
The Art of Shaving Unscented Shaving Cream for Men is an excellent product to use to shave your buttocks. While most guys may want to use ordinary shaving cream, I really recommend this formula. Let me tell you why: First, it’s one of the smoothest shave creams you will ever use—it is incredibly emollient.
Second, it makes a wonderfully rich lather but not too much that you’re unable to see what you’re doing. And lastly, it also moisturizes the skin really well and is great for sensitive skin. The Art of Shaving Unscented Shaving Cream for Men retails for about $25 on Amazon.
Wet your razor blade with cold water and begin shaving the hair on your buttocks. If you're using a body groomer, then just begin shaving.
If you want a close shave, then shave against the grain; if you tend to be more prone to skin irritation, then you may want to shave with the grain.
Ideally, you should be standing up with your butt facing the mirror in your bathroom; this will make it easier for you to see what you're doing without straining your back too much.
As you shave, the razor will do the work, so it only needs to be pressed lightly against the skin. For those using a manual razor, rinse the blade frequently in cold water (cold water minimizes redness) to dislodge any hairs that are stuck. If you're using a body groomer, then frequently remove any excess hair from the blades and comb.
If by chance you nick yourself, you can use a styptic pen to stop the bleeding.
Shaving between the cheeks is the trickiest part as it's the hardest to see. This is why you need a handheld mirror for this step.
Once you've shaved your butt cheeks, it's time to shave between the cheeks. To do this effectively, lay a handheld mirror on the floor, facing up. Then, squat above the mirror, and begin shaving.
Line of sight is the most difficult problem with shaving your butt, so a decent-sized mirror is a must-have. I recommend this large 11" mirror by Goody that retails for about $7 on Amazon.
Continue to rinse your razor frequently to prevent the cartridge from becoming clogged. If you have just a light amount of hair growth around your anus, you can use the Wahl Micro Groomsman personal trimmer instead.
After you’ve removed all the hair and are satisfied with your shave, rinse any excess shave gel and stray hairs off with cold water. You may also want to use a non-irritating body wash.
Pat yourself dry with a fresh, clean towel; using an old towel may introduce bacteria onto the skin.
Step 9: Apply Antiseptic to Your Buttocks
Apply a generous and even amount of antiseptic/razor bump treatment to your skin. This treatment is best applied right after you rinse your body. Allow the antiseptic treatment to dry before applying any body powder or putting on clothes.
Depending on your skin type, this may or may not burn a little. You should apply the antiseptic every day for the first few days after you shave.
There are many nightmare stories about guys who have had horrible experiences shaving their butts. In all cases, none of them used an antiseptic. Antiseptic is important because it soothes the skin, closes pores, and kills any bacteria. When you don't use antiseptic, you increase the chance of skin irritation.
I recommend a product called the Cool Fix. It's a silicone-based antiseptic that not only conditions the skin and kills bacteria but also has a cooling effect that's quite refreshing. The Cool Fix retails for about $26 on Amazon.
Step 10: Apply Body Powder to Your Buttocks
Now apply body powder to your bum; this will keep you dry and fresh, plus prevent any chafing or itching. You should re-apply the body powder every day.
After you remove all the hair from your buttocks, the absence of hair will mean that you will not be able to ventilate this area as well as before, so it's crucial that you invest in a good body powder to help keep your skin dry and smooth.
I recommend the Jack Black Dry Down Friction-Free Body Powder . This powder is a high-quality corn starch powder that feels great on the skin and keeps you from feeling clammy. This scent is light and fresh, and the green tea, cucumber, and lavender extracts are great for the skin. This product retails for about $20 on Amazon.
After a few days have lapsed, you will need to start to exfoliate your butt to prevent ingrown hairs and skin irritation. Using an exfoliating cloth will help loosen the hair and remove dead skin cells. You will need to do this every few days, but not every day in most cases.
The Salux Washcloth is a Japanese invention and one of the best body exfoliators you can buy on the market, I think. It's basically a long rectangle of textured cloth made from nylon, perfect for scrubbing the backside. This product retails for about $5 on Amazon.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
عالم حواء from saudi arabia on July 12, 2020:
just feels good and looks so much sexier
shave everything, just feels good and looks so much sexier! Not sure why people think pubic hair is attractive.
I find it fascinating that epilators are not mentioned as as way to remove hair. I am/was a super hairy guy. It takes several times to get used to doing it and especially the different feeling having hair vs not, but now I remove ALL of my body hair with an epilator. Every 4 months is good and I am never a hairy beast like l used to be. It no longer hurts, it no longer feels weird to not have big hair cushions in certain places and there is nothing like the feeling of of having hairless balls, chest, pits, and anus after living for decades with a shag rug. I never ever thought that a super hairy guy could do this without stubble itching or discomfort, but here I am. I have been doing it for over 10 years and it is easy now... not at first but persistence pays off.
I find it very insensitive that all these women have to add that they find it funny like what do they think that makes us feel good?
Am a girl... have always been rather hairy down there (sad face) with ultra sensitive skin to boot. Unfortunately, despite trying all sorts of bushy styles, I still prefer a full on Brazilian. Finally got myself onto electric shavers and trimmers and my lady bits are smooth and happy... but I couldn’t figure out how to get the bit between my cheeks! Never considered using a Wahl type trimmer and I happen to have one! Just tried and problem solved. Thank youuuuu from me and my behind.
I shave pubes and ass as well as cock and balls. I get a yeast infestation if i do not shave ; it is like round red spots that turn to a brown permanent spot later. I went for over 2 years shaving my entire body including the beard s it invaded my beard and mustach. I cut back but had to start again to shave my entire chest and belly as the spots were coming back. There is a name for this condition but I fail to recall it now. I have had a lot of nice comments from those who like to fellate so it might be of interest to some who like that. Im referring to the pubes and private areas. I just do not feel clean until I have these shaved and it is much easier to wash off after going to the bathroom. Iforgot to mention that I also shave the pits. To me pit hair is gross to look at on anyone and it keeps the smell down as hair holds onto sweat and bacteria. I do not have much smell there for several days after shaving the spot. I really think it reduces body odor significantly.
I really would prefer shaving my entire body but my wife complains when I shave my legs ( they look better than hers I think). Well if the spots invade again I will shave my legs to get rid of the scarring. I also use 3/4 cup of borax added to my bath water and soak in it for up to an hour. This kills the yeast infections and keeps it gone as long as I keep shaving. Warm weather seems to exascerbate this yeast problem. No, you are not gay if you shave any part of your body regardless of what some think. Some prefer clenliness and health and do what it takes to achieve that goal.
Get the hell over what you read if you're so pissed off by it, Mark M! If people wanna shave their asses, let 'em.
How in the hell did I end up here reading this? Effing internet!
Sarah Spradlin from Little Rock, Arkansas on April 17, 2018:
I'm sorry but this made me laugh. I snapped it to like 6 people lol! I love the illustrations! haha
I've done it before and it's difficult. It makes it easier to wipe my butt but it was uncomfortable when I walked as there was nothing to keep my cheeks from rubbing together.
I love the clean feel of a smooth bum, and I hate hair except what is on my head.
There are many guys out there who think it's gay to remove the hair "back there", but it's simply good hygiene. I'm not gay, and there's nothing wrong if you are. I simply shave my ass because it feels disgusting, and my girlfriend likes the feel of a smooth butt, (no, we don't do butt stuff lol), she just likes to grab the cheeks sometimes. Have you ever wiped your ass like 6 times and felt like there was still something on your ass hair? That's the most irritating part for me.
For all the straight guys out there; it's not gay if you do it for hygiene purposes. Girls love guys with smooth butts, and i promise you'll feel much more comfortable after a good shave!
Rebecca from USA on November 08, 2017:
I read this to get tips for my husband's hairy butt! loved the article. I found it humorous and informative.
It is just good hygiene!!! I think it comes down to respecting your partner when it comes to foreplay makes for a more enjoyable experience
As a hairy guy missus bethperry I'd like to say for hygiene purposes. (Shaving between the cheek part)
im a man and i shave my but to avoid pelinoid infection
That I know, from how women shave the back of their upper legs, isn't it better if you put you legs forward on a support like a sink or something where to put your foot on, then angle the knee, bend yourself and your thigh toward your chest and just shave from behind your knee to your buttocks, "simple" :).
Or if in the tub or sitting, just raise your thigh toward your chest.
I work as an esthetician in the conservative Davenport, Ia. area and you would be surprised at how many guys want hair removal. Any guy that I date for long has to let me arrange things the way I like by waxing certain pr
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