Asshole Abuse

Asshole Abuse

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I went over and stood thiiiiis close behind her. I really wanted to run
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We went across the street and got some pizza and chatted a long time.
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10 Signs of an Abusive Wife and How to Deal With It

By Sylvia Smith , Expert Blogger

Approved By Angela Welch, LMFT

Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.

Men are not the only ones who can be abusive in a relationship .
As shocking as it might be, women can be abusive too.
Also, due to the general lack of awareness regarding the abuse men face, they don’t even realize they’re dealing with an abusive wife. The signs of an abusive woman can often be so subtle that men may not realize they are at the receiving end.
Find out if you, or someone you know, is a victim of an abusive wife by going through the list below. Advice on how to deal with an abusive wife has also been discussed.
Abusive wives have controlling behavior . She will control who you hang out with, where you go, where you work, what you do with your paycheck, what you wear and how often you talk to family or friends.
The abuser will try to control you by utilizing non-verbal communication . She may refuse to talk to you, ignore you, stop being intimate with you, or even sulk until she gets her way. She is also an ace at controlling discussions.
If you believe you are always (metaphorically speaking) walking on eggshells, this is most likely an indication of abuse. You may have an abusive wife if she shouts, yells or blows a gasket over little things. Such an abusive woman may debilitate you, constantly criticize you, and often reject your sentiments.
My wife is abusive. What do I do? If things have escalated to this level that you are wondering about the answer to this question, then it’s time you took matters into your own hands and set boundaries to mend the relationship .
If your significant other is rough, either when it comes to you or the people around you, you are in an oppressive relationship. If she punches, hits, and slaps you, these are clear signs the relationship isn’t sound . She may, likewise, try to kick animals, punch walls or toss things at you when she does not get her way.
Most abusive wives are envious. They might demonstrate a bad mood as soon as they see you talking with someone else. Of course, spouses do tend to get jealous when they see their significant others interact with other people. However, in this case, jealousy is a bit different. Your abusive wife will even grow jealous if you’re paying too much attention to your siblings or parents.
Another prominent sign of your wife being abusive is her having nonsensical reactions. When you commit an error, you feel there is nothing you can do to make it up to her. She won’t pardon you for your activities, regardless of how minute the mistake was or how much you plead her for forgiveness .
Oppressive spouses need you all to themselves. They don’t need you investing energy with colleagues, family or companions. She would rather prefer you to be miserable and all by yourself. She doesn’t need you hanging out with other individuals for fear that they may identify the abuse.
Does your wife place you in circumstances that might make you fear for your life or safety? If there are instances where she tries to threaten you, makes you feel frightened, controls and manipulates you to the point where you begin dreading her and are scared, you are clearly in an abusive relationship .
She finds ways to accuse others; she assumes no liability for what she has done or said and will blame everybody for anything that turns out badly. She will dependably figure out how to point the finger at you.
On the off chance that you have never heard your wife apologize for anything and she is always playing the blame game , you might be in an abusive relationship.
Gaslighting is the manipulative conduct used to confuse individuals into thinking their responses are so far from what’s normal that they’re insane.
The abusive wife tells the husband he is crazy or it’s just in his head. Such husbands are often left wondering whether this behavior means that they must correct themselves or their wife is abusive enough to skirt the issue by playing a blame game.
She can’t deal with feedback, regardless of how sincere it is. You can’t give useful feedback without backfiring. She sees everything as negative feedback and feels very insulted and attacked. In any case, she is more than ready to criticize, often in an insulting way, the moment you try and say something to her.
Set boundaries for the things or actions you will accept and not accept from your wife. Make sure to tell her what is and isn’t acceptable when she speaks to you or about you. Let her know, in no uncertain terms, will you accept her belittling and demeaning you, your intelligence or your character.
On the off chance that she crosses your limits and calls you rude names, you’ll need to create some kind of space between the two of you. Get up and leave and disclose to her that each time she says something harmful or mean to you, you will leave her and that situation.
In no case should you continue being the victim in a relationship after identifying these signs of an abusive wife ? Of course, doing all of these things might not work out. Your abusive wife might grow more aggressive. If she shows such behavior and refuses to respect you as her spouse, then it’s best to part ways for good. Living in a toxic marriage with an abusive wife won’t do you any good.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.

10:55PM Wednesday, August 17th, 2022
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AARON Gilmore was sexually abused by when he just 12. When he reported it, police told him they didn’t know what the crime was.
AARON Gilmore was not even a teenager when he was sexually abused by a family friend who he regarded as a second mother.
But when he reported it to police years later they told him they couldn’t see what crime had taken place.
Ken Clearwater was 12 years old when he said he was sexually violated by a woman and asked to do things he could never comprehend and was left scarred, ashamed and broken.
He never reported that abuse or named the woman involved.
Both men carried a deep shame for years, worried that police and society wouldn’t believe that they had been abused by women.
Both men believe this is why males don’t come forward to report it.
Now a father-of-two children and the owner of a dancing school in Auckland, Mr Gilmore told news.com.au the grooming began at 11 after Hendrika Margaret Shaskey noticed he was a troubled kid craving attention.
She was jailed for five years for the sexual violation of Mr Gilmore in 2003.
Initially, Shaskey was charged with cruelty to a child but this was upgraded to sexual violation.
In 2005 New Zealand law was changed which raised the maximum jail term to 10 years for any “sexual connection” with a person under 16.
While the NZ Dancing with the Stars performer has learned to cope with what took place during his formative years, it left him feeling numb and like a shell. He said he felt he was unable to escape from the abuse.
“Consent can’t really be given when you’re in that state no matter how immature or mature you may feel,” he said of the abuse which went on until he was 18.
“She (Shaskey) was genuinely nice to me,” he said. “I didn’t have that kind of relationship with my own mother, I even called her my second mother.
When alarm bells started to ring as the abuse became more sexual, he said she assured him it was their special secret.
He began to stay over and eventually moved in with Shaskey after his parents accepted her home was closer to his high school.
It was what he called a “typical grooming story”.
What started as hugging and kissing on the cheek soon progressed to much more but as the months wore on he said he became more uncomfortable with the situation and wanted out.
But when he told her he said she “burst into tears” and threatened to tell his parents, telling him it was all his fault.
“I was a shell, I shut down, I just existed,” he said.
Feeling trapped, he felt he had no choice but to stay. He managed to escape the situation when he was 18.
But it wasn’t until he went to counselling at 22 that he finally had the courage to report what took place. With the help of his partner and mother of his two children he went to the police.
The police reaction was one he will never forget.
“The officer said ‘I’m failing to see a crime here’ and my partner lost it,” he said.
While justice was eventually served, Mr Gilmore said it has been a long road to recovery and he still struggles with society’s view of sexual abuse.
He also said people needed to stop thinking men or boys enjoyed such abuse or that it was “good practise” as that wasn’t helping men talk about it.
Ken Clearwater was just 12 years old when he said he was sexually violated.
Already having suffered a rape at the hands of a man, he never expected to be abused by a woman.
“She sexually violated me and wanted me to do things to her that I couldn’t even comprehend,” the Christchurch man said of the second assault.
That abuse, which followed a rape six months earlier, destroyed the tiny amount of innocence and trust he had left.
Alan William Davies was arrested and spent time in jail for abusing the young Ken after being charged with two counts of indecent assault.
Ashamed, he didn’t report the abuse at the hands of the woman or tell anyone out of fear no one would believe a “confused” boy.
“She made me lie on the bed beside her, she started touching me sexually and got me to touch her,” he told news.com.au
“I was scared and couldn’t get an erection and she laughed at me and said I wasn’t a real man, and she was right I was a frightened boy.
“After the abuse that happened to me I went from a happy little boy to a nasty angry sarcastic person.”
More than 50 years later, the father of “two beautiful daughters” still has difficulty trusting women.
“I struggle with relationships with women and feel that when I am in it I am trapped,” he said.
“Alan was charged, but I never told anybody about the woman as it was to shameful, and I probably wouldn’t have spoken about Alan if he hadn’t been caught.”
At 14 the young Ken was expelled from school for a confrontation with a teacher, lost his job at the freezer works for striking the foreman and was arrested for attacking two police officers in the 1980s.
“I started drinking alcohol at 12 and smoked cigarettes. It wasn’t until 1972 I found marijuana, opium, LSD, cocaine etc. All these things helped get me through the tough times.
“The biggest problem was alcohol as I always got violent whereas the marijuana helped me relax and forgot about the s*** spinning around in my head.”
He took up boxing to feel “more like a man” and as a way of channelling his aggression.
The 63-year-old who is the manager of Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse Trust (MSSAT) in Christchurch, said he believed sexual abuse at the hands of both men and women, remained massively under reported.
Mr Clearwater said males are very reluctant to report sexual abuse because of shame, guilt and fear, “especially the fear of being seen as perpetrators, weak, gay etc”.
“And when the perpetrator is a woman there is the fear you won’t be believed or that you shouldn’t complain and you should count yourself lucky,” he said.
“People seem to think being a male victim is not as bad as being a female victim and that if the perpetrator is a female the damage isn’t as bad not realising the psychological damage it can do and especially if that female is a mother.
“As in many countries males have been seen as perpetrators and not victims and our country is having trouble coming to terms with female perpetrators.”
Mr Clearwater said research conducted by Dr Tess Patterson from the University of Otago with nine of his clients revealed all had been sexually abused by males and half at the hands of woman.
“Many of the men we work with have been abused by females of all the men we have worked with only one has ever been to the police and reported it,” he said.
“The woman received a five-year sentence which is huge and unusual in New Zealand.”
At a TED talk in Queenstown in April this year, Mr Clearwater said one in six boys will be sexually abused before their 16th birthday.
“We will never know how many boys and girls are being sexually abused some live with shame and guilt who take their own lives,” he said.
“Sexual abuse and violence is a human rights issue not a gender issue.”
He said until we accept this, male victims of sexual abuse and violence will continue to be treated in a manner that is both unfair and unjust.
Exact numbers surrounding sex abuse are difficult to obtain with many cases going unreported.
However, an ANROWS analysis of the 2013 Australian Bureau of Statistics Personal Safety Survey (PSS ) found women were still significantly more likely to have experienced sexual violence and assault than men.
It found 1.5 million women (17.1 per cent), or one in six, have experienced sexual assault.
Around 33.5 times as many women reported sexual assault at the hands of a man (852,800) compared to another woman (25,400).
One in 15 men (0.3 million), or 4 per cent, experienced sexual assault since the age of 15, the figures reveal.
But surprisingly more men experienced sexual assault by a female (130,600) than at the hands of another man (72,300).
A survey in the US found that a similar amount of women reported being raped in a 12-month period as the amount of men who were “made to penetrate” a female offender.
A new paper titled Sexual Victimisation Perpetrated by Women: Federal Data Reveal Surprising Prevalence , contradicts the idea that female sexual perpetration is rare.
Researchers used data from four main surveys, including from the Centres for Disease Control and Prevention , to reach their conclusion.
Using CDC data, they found that women and men reported a nearly equal rates of non-consensual sex in a 12-month period.
It found 1.6 per cent of women in the US reported being raped in the past 12 months (1.9 million), which is a similar rate to the 1.7 per cent of men (1.9 million) who reportedly were “made to penetrate a perpetrator”.
She’s got 18 grandchildren but the 91-year-old said when she’s out sunbathing she mistaken for a much younger woman.
Mum-of-two Lucy Banks lives an entirely harmless existence, but certain members of the public have persisted in reporting her to police.
A pub has responded after a local newspaper went viral over a full-page ad taken out by a scorned lover, but not everyone is convinced.

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