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“After chatting for a few months I decided to visit Davao City and made the long trip from Canada. We had a wonderful two weeks and our relationship became even stronger. We’re doing great, coming up on a year together, and have an trip planned for June 2019.”

Cess
&
Julian

“You gave us a tool to find each other. Without your website I may not able to find my husband.”

“I met my sweetheart, Zean, through your site in December 2018. It didn't take long for us to fall in love with each other, and I proposed to her in early April 2019 when I visited her in the Philippines. We're now in the process of filing her K1 visa so that we could get married here in the US. Thank you very much myladyboydate.com!”

“I met cherish 4-22-2018, she is from the Philippines, we talked on skype, I met her in person, she is a nice girl transgender, I never knew they existed until I met her, her k1 visa has been approved, she will arrive in the USA the 3rd week of April 2019, thank you myladyboydate.com”

“As a transwoman who’s looking for a genuine relationship. I can say that this is not just a dating website, but it’s a perfect avenue or platform for everyone who’s looking for love and real connections. I can testify that this website has a lot to offer. I met my past relationships here and it has been a privilege for me knowing them. Here I am again with high hopes looking for my better half. Kudos to the founder Cy for creating such a wonderful website. You gave so much power and love to the transwomen community. ❤️ ”

“I was pretty satisfied for a first time, I'll keep this website in mind for the future. One of my disappointements would be the rest of the male profiles. I've seen none but far too many girls were feedbacking me about many men either perverts or only here for one night stands. The other is the lack of visibility this website has for western transwomen. Not much critical features. I don't know if it's feasible but this website can grow to rival Tinder, Okcupid and such. Also the price of subscription is a bit high but that's something else. A more dynamic display of connected status, the option to send other medias in private conversation without having to share our whatsapp number and maybe integrate a cam2cam option too.”

“I am very much thankful and blessed that I am one member of your site. I’m really thankful cause I found my gwapo future partner in my life. He is really good person and humble and I am so much lucky to have him, he is from France, he is so much gwapo... I love you so much my gwapo, my love, I really love you so much... Thank you myladyboydate, you’re the reason why I'm so much happy everytime I wake up in morning to have my love in life... Thank you!”

My Ladyboy Date is the first decent dating site for trans women (aka ladyboy in Asia). Made with love, by an original trans couple .

My Ladyboy Date is owned and operated by Building Bridges Ltd, Bulgaria

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WARNING: Sexual content. Some still feel shame about being who they are in Australia. But not in the Philippines.
THE billboard on level one of the two-storey, triangle shaped building reads “Lady, Oil and Midget Wrestling”.
The billboard above it on level two reads: “Mixed Nuts No Cover Charge — No Show Charge — Birdies Martinis — The Entertainment Capital and Only Ladyboy Show in Manila”. The building sits on a major four lane Manila highway, for everyone to see.
I walked up a flight of stairs and into an air-conditioned club.
It’s 1am. There’s a Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show on multiple TV screens, and Major Lazer’s Bubble Butt is playing on the speakers. A beautiful woman, about 21 years old, was doing the most erotic lip sync I’ve ever seen on the spotlit dancefloor.
She was wearing pale blue stilettos, denim shorts and a cowboy hat: hypnotising a crowd of half-a-dozen white men with the spinning white cotton string of her nipple tassels.
The performer’s name, I learn, is Mariel. She’s a star of the 13-member Mixed Nuts team. She is one of seven with breasts and a penis, two of the 13 have breasts and a vagina, four are trans women who had never had any surgery or taken hormones.
Mixed Nuts is not a drag venue. It’s a bar that caters for men who are sexually attracted to transgender women and feminised men.
“Ladyboys have great bodies, they are normally better looking than regular women, they really are,” the Australian man I’ll call David said as we sat in a soft-padded booth facing the dancefloor. He’s 42, and looks like a ginger Piers Morgan.
“I just think they are beautiful, they have this exaggerated femininity. I come to Manila for relaxation one weekend a month. I’ve had sex five times today with five different people, three women and two transgender,” David — who wanted to keep his identity a secret — told me.
“In the Philippines I can walk down the street with a trans woman and nobody really cares what gender your partner is,” he said. “It’s more relaxed here.”
GAMP: POSSIBLY MORE COMMON THAN GAY
David’s playing style is referred to by sexologists as gynandromorphophilia (often shortened to GAMP). But it’s not a medical condition, it’s just a term for people attracted to people born biologically male, but who look, act, or are women, this includes cross-dressing men, drag queens and transgender women.
And GAMP is a very common orientation too.
Porn download data suggests there are more men attracted to trans women than there are men attracted to other men.
“I guess I’m a variety of bisexual. I like trans women and women, I am not attracted to men — not at all,” David said. “I come to Manila because the trans women here are beautiful. But I am not really ready to explain this part of my life to friends, and more especially my family. I’ll have people asking: ‘Why, why, why?’ and people who think I’ve been living some kind of lie because I present as straight.”
Before I went to Mixed Nuts, I had done some reading.
I’d looked at a study by Dr Ogi Ogas, an American computational neuroscientist. He said his analysis of anonymous internet histories indicated that those who watched trans porn almost never watched man-man gay porn — they tended to watch heterosexual porn as well.
Similarly, not that long ago, researchers at America’s Northwestern University attached penis enlargement censors to a group of male research subjects as each one spent time in a room watching a variety of porn.
The researchers found that trans-attracted men were just as likely to get an erection when watching heterosexual porn as a heterosexual identifying man, and the trans-attracted men didn’t usually get erections when watching gay porn. It also found that the men who got erections watching the gay porn rarely didn’t get erections watching trans porn.
That said, at Mixed Nuts I also learned the difference between “straight” and “gay”, even “trans” and “gay” in the Philippines is not the same as we tend to understand it in Australia.
So it was just after 2.15am and I was talking to a guy in his late-40s from Britain who I’ll call Martin.
“I come to Manila rather than Bangkok because they speak better English here. I really enjoy the company of ladyboys, I love that they have a unique perspective on things in the face of so much difficulty,” Martin said.
Then I was interrupted by a tall, dark-skinned trans-Barbie doll who tapped my shoulder very politely asked: “Do you want a blow job?”
I explained that I am gay, And she said that didn’t matter because “I am really a boy, I don’t have breasts and I have a cock”.
And she said: “Straight and gay men sex me”.
A sales pitch? Perhaps — the Philippines is dirt poor and the name of the game at Mixed Nuts is to get white men to buy drinks.
But her comment made me wonder a few other things, like how Martin was attracted to trans woman who didn’t take hormones — therefore didn’t have breasts — but wasn’t attracted to say, very feminine gay men.
“Well most of the trans women I date in the Philippines don’t take hormones, but I am attracted to them and I am not attracted to men. It’s a strange thing, I know,” he told me. “What can I say? The difference is that a ladyboy has no body hair and has a higher voice, they wear perfume, they look like women, very feminine, certainly more woman than man.”
Then the 3.36am curve-ball: we were joined at the table by Valarie. She knew she was beautiful; with her hair piece, perfect skin and black contact lenses, there was something even a little bit humanoid about her. She told me her boyfriend, an American living in Vietnam, “is a GAAAY.”
Vienna breathed in with her nose, lent in, and whispered “because he wants to get a vagina.”
Oh that old story: boys meets girl, girl has a penis, boys likes penis so much he wants to get a vagina. I guess that settles it all then: men are from Mars, women are from Venus, but we are really all humanoid aliens secretly controlled by an intergalactic illuminati. Or maybe I was just asking too many questions.
I’ve often heard some of my transgender friends complain about being treated like a dirty fetish — on one occasion with make-up running everywhere because of her tears and broken heart.
American writer, TV host and transgender activist Janet Mock writes about this problem as a “pervasive ideology says that trans women are shameful, that trans women are not worthy of being seen and that trans women must remain a secret — invisible and disposable”.
That said, while it’s not surprising men travel to Asia to explore their desires for the third sex when it’s still a source of shame in Western countries, it’s important to note that discrimination and violence against transgender women remains common in the Philippines.
A Spanish colony for many hundreds of years, pre-colonial women-led Filipino tribes gave transgender woman roles as Shamans or community leaders.
The Spaniards by contrast had been subjecting gay men to capital punishment during the Inquisition and banned any form of cross-dressing back in their home kingdom (even in the theatre and during cultural events).
This was just before they sailed into and then claimed the 7000 island archipelago. Unsurprisingly, the status of trans people quickly plummeted.
It was hard not to think of the case of Jennifer Laude, 26, the Filipino killed by American marine Joseph Scott Pemberton. After Pemberton’s lawyers first tried to argue there was no evidence Pemberton killed her, they then argued he did kill her — but only after realising she was trans in the hotel room. Therefore, he told the court, he felt “repulsed” and “feared he would be raped” — so he strangled her to death.
And while we didn’t hear about it in Australia, within the same week two other trans women were murdered in the Philippines by fellow Filipinos.
‘I SHOULD HAVE JUST RAN WITH MY TRANSGENDER ATTRACTION’
It was 4.18am and Martin was telling me he “couldn’t give a shit” what people think of his attraction to transgender women. But he has a wife (“a stale relationship ... we haven’t had sex in six years”) and child.
“I couldn’t leave my wife for a trans woman, she would find that so humiliating, then I would have to explain it to my kid who is only 11,” he told me in a drunken, sombre tone — a strange contrast to the camp, fun rendition of Greased Lightning being performed on the dancefloor.
“I met my wife not long after I lost my virginity which I didn’t lose until I was in my early 20s. Looking back now, 30-odd years ago, I should have just ran with my transgender attraction,” Martin said, pushing out a deep breath.
“I should have found a transgender woman and had a serious relationship with her, then I probably wouldn’t have the complications I have today.”
Luke Williams is a journalist. His new book Extreme Asia: When Westerners go East will be released in 2018.
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