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Mamamia Out Loud- What is a side vag?
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Just when I finally got used to the side boob .
Just when I finally got used to the side hair shave .
Comes another side THING that is beautiful and impossible and horrifying and I cannot look away:
— David Richman (@DRich_what) April 1, 2016
The side vag is my new favourite term. It’s the result of what happens when you succumb to the latest high-crotched fashion trend and let your fleshy front lady area see the light of day. And it’s coming to a beach, a red carpet, or an Instagram shot near you.
In Venice recently, it was side-vag for days:
And, pre-robbery, Kim Kardashian was letting the gentle winds of France caress her front cheeks.
A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on Sep 17, 2016 at 9:27pm PDT
It's yet another astonishing feat for women in 2016. Up until now we've been concerning ourselves with the brave feats of fighting for equal pay, starting AFL leagues and running for President of the United States.
It's time we tipped our hats to those brave souls involved in side-vaggery.
Firstly, respect for the enormous amount of danger factor involved. Step a millimetre too far, and suddenly your bikini seam has been swallowed up by your lady pocket. And for pete's sake don't even THINK about moving sideways or you'll end up in a Malaysian prison.
Secondly, the intensity and effort it goes to ensure your side vag is display-quality cannot be underestimated. Can you imagine? How is it possible to remain hairless, without the pockmarked scars of ingrown picking, or the ugly red bumps of another $29 triple-x from Essential Beauty?
Not all heroes wear capes. Some of them wear really high-crotch things.
Side vaggers laugh in the face of their waxer when she says "this is going to hurt".
Side vaggers spit their champagne out at 1800's ladies who were considered scandalous when they flashed their ankle.
Side vaggers know where their best side is at.
So this summer, ladies, be armed with the knowledge that your vag doesn't have to lie dormant, meekly covered. Get your little muff wings out. It's what fashion wants you to do. Just remember a couple of things:
And please, don't forget to slip, slop and slap the sides too.
Monique Bowley is the host of Mamamia Out Loud. It's the award-winning weekly podcast with what women are talking about. Subscribe in itunes or listen to the full episode here:
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this is just a revision and an attempted resurgence of the high hip french cut that really doesnt look good on anyone unless you're trying to make your hips look gigantic...are dickies going to be next??
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'Imperfection is beauty' 'Imperfection is beauty'
By Lisa Klug
5 July 2015, 3:06 pm
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Jewish gymnast Aly Raisman during her ESPN photo shoot (photo credit: YouTube capture)
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Jewish-American Olympic gymnast Aly Raisman holding a gold medal at the 2012 Olympic Games in London. (photo credit: screen capture, YouTube)
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Gymnast Aly Raisman bares all as the cover girl for ESPN’s latest , the “Body Issue.” The Olympic gold medalist appears fully nude in an ESPN video, discussing her passion for gymnastics, her intense regimen and the sport that inspires and challenges her.
Rather than titillating or pornographic, the images and accompanying video focuses on the 22-year-old’s remarkable physical strength and feminine, yet muscular physique as she moves through and strikes various poses on the balance beam. Although she displays great agility, and is clearly unclothed, she hardly shows “it all.”
Raisman, who is 5’2 and 115 pounds, recognizes how gymnasts are of different body types, some thin and lithe. Yet she shares how she has come to love her muscles for the strength they give her. As she tells ESPN, “I think imperfection is beauty. Instead of being insecure about my muscles, I’ve learned to love them. I don’t even think of it as a flaw anymore because it’s made me into the athlete that I am.”
If she makes the US team for the next Olympic Games in Rio de Janeiro in 2016, at 22 Raisman will be the oldest competing gymnast. At the last Olympics she took home two golds and a bronze.
In London she performed her winning floor routine to the crowd-pleasing “Hava Nagila,” and in interviews, told reporters that she felt the 2012 games should have honored the 40th anniversary of the terrorist attack that took the lives of Israeli athletes and trainers at the 1972 Munich Olympics.
“If there had been a moment’s silence,” the 18-year-old told the world following her win, “I would have supported it and respected it.”
Back in 2012, the New York Post quoted Raisman’s rabbi praising Raisman’s victory and her “mettle” in remembering the slain Israeli Olympians.
“She is a focused person,” said Rabbi Keith Stern of Temple Beth Avodah in Newton Centre, Massachusetts.
“She’s very proud and upfront about being Jewish,” Stern said. “Neither she nor her family explicitly sought to send a message. But it shows how very integrated her Jewish heritage is in everything that she does.
In her ESPN video, Raisman explains the intense pressures involved with training a lifetime for a minute-and-a-half beam routine.
“I work out six days, 32 hours a week for the dream of competing at the Olympics again. I’m always eating healthy, always going to bed early. Everything I put into my body is for the purpose of gymnastics,” said Raisman.
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