Asian Bondage Fantasies

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Claire Lampen and Sabrina Talbert

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Claire Lampen
Claire is a freelance writer covering sex and gender.

Sabrina Talbert
Sabrina is an editorial assistant for Women’s Health.


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Do you own a scarf? Then you’re ready.
If you're looking for a surefire way to spice things up in the bedroom, your mind might jump to handcuffs. But I'll do you one better: Try using rope.
ICYDK, if you're looking to dip a toe into kink , bondage is a great place to start. Most of the tools you need to fulfill your BDSM fantasies are lying around your house already. But, before you grab the nearest bandana and strap your partner to a kitchen chair, there are a few things you should know.
Establishing how to approach rope bondage might be an intimidating process if you've never tried it. Before you and your partner get into it, many experts suggest it’s a good idea to agree on your desired roles and boundaries. For example, figure out whether you'd rather be the dominant partner who takes on more leadership and control, or would you rather be the submissive one, who prefers to give up that control to their partner.
You should also talk to your partner about what you do/don't want done to you, how much pressure you’re into, and what safe word will signal when one of you has had enough.
If this isn’t your first time incorporating BDSM into your partnership, then this process might be second nature to you. But either way, preparation beforehand is always necessary. Here’s a few things to keep in mind before getting started.
Research is a must if it’s your first time using rope. Get familiar with what positions you want to try out and how to execute them properly. There are plenty of websites you can check out dedicated to explaining rope play. Elle Chase , CSE, ACS, a certified sex educator, recommends Remedial Ropes as a good place to start learning. Doing sufficient research will give you a better sense of where to tie, how tight, etc., says Chase.
If you’re interested in trying rope play or any other form of BDSM, consent should be an ongoing conversation. "Consent, communication, and trust are essential for a strong relationship—sexual or otherwise," says Chase. "Incorporating consensual bondage into sex play builds and fortifies essential trust between partners, and requires that communication be deft and clear."
Aside from doing your own research, there are also classes and workshops you can attend to get some real hands-on experience, says Francesca Gentille , PhD, clinical sexologist and professor at the International Institute of Clinical Sexology. Rope bondage is never risk-free as there is the possibility for nerve damage amongst other things, so it’s best for all participants to familiarize themselves with any safety issues that can pop up during practice. "Think R.A.C.K. (Risk Aware Consensual Kink)," says Gentille.
With safety being the priority, it doesn’t hurt to create some sort of escape plan in the event of an emergency. A good option is keeping the ties that bind the wrists and ankles loose until you get comfortable, says Chase. As you get better with the ties and make them tighter, you can also have a pair of safety scissors handy just in case, adds Gentile.
If executed correctly and with caution, a strong bond of trust can be formed between you and your partner. " When the rope tier, rigger, or dominant listens well, notices beautifully, and attunes to the one being tied, there is a sense of growing intimacy, anticipation, and arousal," say Gentille.
Aftercare is always needed after a scene and is usually negotiated before you start a scene. The purpose of aftercare is to make sure both participants level out mentally and physically. For scenes that can be physically depleting, Gentille recommends a blanket, snacks, and a bottle of water. She also adds that it’s a good idea to check in with your partner a few days after to see if anything other thoughts or feelings have come up. “Aftercare (done well), both immediately after a scene or session, and days later, is an opportunity to deepen your relationship, build trust, and hold space for any triggers and healing,” says Gentille. “If not handled well the opposite can happen. [You] can break trust or rewound and trigger feelings of abandonment [in your partner].”
Once the specifics are out of the way, then it's finally time to play. If you don't have any rope casually laying around your home, don’t worry. Plenty of other household items, like a scarf or a tie, can serve as great alternatives. Whatever tool you've got on hand, get ready to explore these 18 best bondage positions:
How to: Missionary is the easiest possible position for beginner bondage. Simply lie on your back with your arms above your head and your legs spread, then have your partner bind your wrists and ankles to the bed frame.
Licensed sex therapist Vanessa Marin recommended Sportsheets’ under-the-bed restraint system ($29, amazon.com ) in a previous interview with Women's Health , because its velcro cuffs are easily removable for a quick escape if/when you decide you no longer want to be bound.
How to: Have your partner lie on their back and bind their wrists and ankles, either together or to the bed frame, with a silk scarf, a tie, or heck, even your own underwear. Once they’re adequately restrained, straddle them facing forward or away, whichever you prefer.
Because they’re tied down, you can switch it up as often as you see fit—playing with your clit, or maybe pulsing a bullet vibe on your partner's perineum, nipples, or clit (try the Tenga Iroha Stick, $20, amazon.com ). Basically, you get to do whatever you want—you’re in charge.
Whether you opt for standard or reverse cowgirl, woman-on-top positions provide a perfect opportunity for you to take complete control.
How to: Lie with your stomach flat on the mattress (or wherever you’re going to be having sex) and have your partner bind your wrists together over your head. Maybe have them blindfold you , too, because why the hell not?
Then, have them lift your hips to enter you from behind, keeping your shoulders down and your knees rooted while he (or she) thrusts.
How to: Bend over and have your partner bind your wrists to your ankles, with your feet anchored shoulder-width apart for better balance.
Have your partner enter you from behind, keeping their hands on your hips to make sure you don’t topple over. Try a hands-free couples vibrator, like the Eva II ($135), for added clitoral stimulation.
How to: Lie down with your back flush to the mattress and then lift your hips into the air, as if you were doing a bridge in yoga. Then, have your partner bind your wrists behind your back and grab your butt, so you can wrap your legs around their waist as they thrust. (This one is like the leap frog, but in reverse.)
How to: For this one, grab a sturdy chair and park your partner’s butt in it. Then, tie their wrists and ankles to the frame, and once they’re ready to go—after a little oral sex , maybe—straddle them and pump up and down. Whether you face them or turn away is entirely up to you.
How to: First, grab two ties, one for your eyes and one for your wrists. Have your partner blindfold you and bind your wrists in front of you, so they hang down by your hips. Once you’re all tied up, they can take the reins in foreplay, before rolling you onto your side and entering you from behind. As they rock into you, they can surprise you with nipple tweaks and strokes, keeping stimulation on your clit. The best part: You get to lie back and enjoy the feels.
A big part of what makes spoon sex such a winner: Easy access to the clit and nips.
How to: Have your partner kneel and sit back on their legs. Loosely bind their wrists together behind their back and sit with your back facing your partner's front. From there, straddle your partner's thighs, bending your knees so that your legs are alongside your partners. Your partner can then use their hips to thrust, without using their arms or legs.
How to: Have your partner sit in an armless chair with their ankles loosely bound together and their wrist tied together behind the back of the chair. Face your partner and straddle their lap. For extra leverage, hold onto your partner's shoulders while you ride.
How to: To best introduce bondage in a knees-to-chest position, have your partner bind your ankles and calves together. Then, while you’re lying on your back, drape your legs over his shoulder as your partner penetrates you. You can also make use of those restraints or even cuffs, and have your partner bind your wrists above your head.
How to: For this one, assume roughly the same position as leap frog, but have your partner handcuff your wrists behind your back and spread your legs. They should kneel between your legs and enter you from behind while your body is flat against the mattress, ground, kitchen table, wherever. Then, have them reach a hand around to stroke your clitoris —because to neglect it would be very rude indeed.
How to: Lying on your back with your legs spread wide, have your partner straddle you while facing your toes. Once they’re situated, wrap your legs around their waist and tip your pelvis up, allowing them to slide back and enter you.
Then, grab your anal toy of choice, lubricate it generously, and work it while your partner rides. (Please note, anal always goes better when the receiving party is really aroused, so preface this position with plenty of foreplay.)
Because the butt is right there, other teasing options include slaps and pinches. If your partner has balls, Snow Angel also gives you prime access: Consider some light testicular tugging, whatever your partner is comfortable with and enjoys.
How to: First things first, ready your restraints, whether that’s the aforementioned under-the-bed system or simply scarves or rope. Have your partner bind your wrists, either to the bed frame or above your head, while you lie in missionary position. Then, spread your legs in a V-shape and lift them toward your head. Have your partner help with this, pushing your ankles back (as far as feels good for you) and holding them in place while they thrust.
Easy to execute without too much maneuvering, the Valedictorian remains a classic because it offers solid G-spot stimulation in combination with a good stretch.
How to: For this position, bend over the bed and have your partner bind your ankles, and then wrists together. Have your partner stand behind you with one leg on either side of yours and enter. Your partner can use their free hands to stimulate other areas, like the nipples or clitoris.
How to: For a more advanced option, have your partner secure the leg tie so that both legs are locked together. From there, your partner can either spoon you while on the bed or can stand up for more leverage.
How to: Have your partner complete a simple box tie so that your wrists are tied in a horizontal position and then tied across the chest and shoulders to create a harness. From there, have your partner stand up or lean over the side of the bed for genital or anal entrance, says Amanda Pasciucco , a certified sex therapist in Connecticut.
How to: Have your partner tie you so that your legs are bent at the knees and your thighs are pressed to your chest (kind of like a fetal position). While this position may be trickier for penetration, it's a great option for other forms of play.
How to: Have your partner tie your ankles together. Then have them tie your wrists behind your back, and tie the wrists and ankles together.
This tie can be a great option for giving or receiving oral sex. ( Note: Beginners should opt for cuffs or clips that can be easily removed instead of rope as some people may struggle to breathe in this position.)

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9 Most Common Sex Fantasy of a Woman Revealed

Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living consciously and encourages couples to adopt this principle in their lives too. Sylvia believes that every couple can transform their relationship into a happier, healthier one by taking purposeful and wholehearted action.

The release of the top grossing movie Fifty Shades of Grey has allowed many women to be in tune with their sexuality. It allowed women to be more vocal about their fantasies and as well as their sexual needs.
It’s true! Women have fantasies too and you’d be surprised to know what they are. Being open to your sexual fantasies is not weird at all, rather it’s considered healthy and hot!
Let’s look at the most common fantasy of a married woman and even the darkest fantasies that women in general have.
You’ve heard this term many times but what exactly is a sexual fantasy?
By definition, sexual fantasies are a collection of mental images that arouses a person. Each person has different sexual fantasies and having them are perfectly normal. Most people are a bit hesitant when this topic is discussed because of the context of it but all of us have sexual fantasies.
This is a part of who we are and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Having sexual fantasies doesn’t mean that you’re not satisfied with your husband or partner, it doesn’t mean that you are sexually deprived, in fact, sex fantasies women have that are totally normal and it actually means that you have a healthy sexual appetite . Post the hype of the Fifty Shades movie series, the film has allowed many women to be comfortable with their sexuality even discussing the most common fantasy of a married woman that they secretly want to be fulfilled along with their admiration with sexy and hot men!
If you’re wondering whether your sexual fantasy is normal or a bit dark, then let’s check the most common female fantasy that women have.
Whether you’re looking for the most common fantasy of a married woman or just women’s topmost common fantasies, then you’re about to discover them.
This may look like a common sexual activity between couples but the fact is, not all women experience the glorious feeling of being caressed down there.
This is one of the most common sexual fantasies many women want fulfilled .
We’re not talking about having sex in front of many people, rather, we’re talking about places where people might catch you doing the “deed”.
Imagine being with your hot partner in the library? He makes advances and you can’t make him stop!
The thrill of being caught can spike your libido!
Because of this movie, one of the most common fantasies of women today is to be dominated by a hot man.
Can we blame our imaginations for being enticed by that setup? Who doesn’t want to be dominated by a hot guy?
He wants you and you feel that you want him too but you don’t want to commit a sin! He forces you into a corner, pins you and kisses you. He forces himself until you can no longer fight and give in.
The roughness of this scenario is something that some women love. It’s the thought of being taken against your will which also excites you beyond belief and is definitely a sexual fantasy that is very common with women of all ages.
There are some women who also get turned on by the thought of making out with the same sex. It’s fun and arousing at the same time.
This is something that men would definitely love to see.
If you think knowing the most common fantasy of a married woman is making you feel hot, then get ready to know the top women’s deepest, darkest sexual fantasies that they can ever have.
For the men who are reading this, can you handle her?
Shhh! One of the most common fantasy of a married woman is actually committing infidelity. Guys, don’t be surprised, we all know you’re also fantasizing about actually doing it.
There’s this dark arousing feeling of having sex with another guy other than your partner. May it be your hot driver, brother-in-law, or even a family friend, the thrill is already enough to make you sexually excited.
Imagine yourself being sexually attracted by some hot stranger and he reciprocates? Drunk? Better! He grabs you and takes you! You can’t help yourself but submit to your own desires!
Now, you understand why this is among the top most common sexual fantasies of women?
Husbands don’t get all angry here okay?
Of course, your spouses would never want to get back with their exes but thinking about having sex with them again – that’s a different story. It’s the thought of doing all those sexual acts that you’ve shared that is arousing, plus the fact that you’re married makes it exciting and will go back to the fantasy of infidelity .
You’d be surprised to know how some women find this very arousing. May it be a threesome or more! It’s a sexual fantasy that many women hide even with their partners.
We don’t want our partners to get the wrong idea, right?
Do you want to make these sexual fantasies a reality without compromising your relationship or your dignity? Then doing role plays is your answer.
Allow yourself and your spouse to talk and be open with each other. Be comfortable with talking about these fantasies and agree on trying them all out – just be sure that both of you won’t take anything seriously here.
This is a great way to bring back the intimacy and can even strengthen the bond between married couples.
Role plays such as delivery guy and lonely wife is one of the most common fantasy of a married woman that can easily be acted out by any couple.
This will definitely spice up your sex life and will also allow you and your partner to enjoy your new found sexcapade.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
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