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by Asa Akira Published: Jan 19, 2018
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She's won multiple awards, written two books, and had anal sex with two men at the same time. No one is more qualified to answer your sex and dating Qs
Hi, everyone! I'm Asa Akira . I'm a best-selling author , a published poet , the recipient of more than 30 awards, and I've had two penises in my butt at the same time.
Today, I'm launching Ask Asa, my column with Men's Health . I may not be totally qualified or have multiple degrees, but I'm here to answer all of your sex and relationship questions. If you have any Qs for me, shoot them to Men's Health on Facebook or Twitter, or Instagram with the hashtag #AskAsa. Don't hold back — I certainly won't.
AA: No entire group of people has the same "type," and that applies to hot women, too. They come with all different tastes and desires. Some women need to be with a pretty guy, and some are more interested in how well a man can tell a good sharting story .
Personally, I would rather bang Artie Lange than Ryan Gosling any day. But if you're interested in a woman who feels otherwise, put her in your spank bank, come to terms with the fact that she’ll only be available to you via masturbation, and go find the girl who prefers Artie Lange. Personality doesn’t always overcome everything, but it can — you just have to find the right girl.
As someone who is not only the proud owner of a vagina, but has eaten hundreds of vaginas in her lifetime, I can confidently tell you that there are no two women who like their cunnilingus exactly the same way. The only general advice/request I can put out is this: Read the room. Try literally everything in your playbook (flicking the tip of your tongue slow/fast, sucking the clitoris soft/medium/hard, circling it with spit, using your fingers, biting the lips, etc.). Pay attention to what she responds to the most, and keep doing that. Straight-up asking us what we like is appreciated, too.
This is a pretty complicated question — depending on the context, the answer could be very different. Do you mean girl friends as in female friends? Or do you mean you’re dating both of them? And if so, do they know about each other? Do they get along? Are they attracted to each other? Do they want a group sex experience? So many questions!
Whatever the case, a real-life threesome is a pretty hard thing to orchestrate, even for porn stars. I remember one time, I had sex with two dudes at once. That’s the whole story — my point is that it only happened one time .
As a woman, though, I’d say the best way for a man to get me to agree to a threesome is to just strike up the conversation during sex — when I’m getting dicked down, that's the best time to get me excited about an idea. Maybe the next time you’re having sex, tell your partner how beautiful she looks, followed by “I wanna watch you going down on another girl," and see how it goes. If there’s any possibility of a threesome happening, you’ll find out. Keep in mind, though: if it’s an absolute no-go, you’ll find out pretty quickly, and you should not press the issue. Nothing's less sexy than a guy who doesn't understand "no."
Missionary. Bear with me — I know this sounds incredibly lame and boring, but let me argue my case.
The obvious answer here is sex, but when you’ve been gang-banged by 11 dudes in a warehouse for money and you orgasm so hard you think you see god, needless to say, your perspective changes. Holding hands in public is intimate. Hanging out with no makeup on is intimate. Cooking together is intimate.
Sexually speaking, though, I’d say creampies [the porn industry's term for a close-up of a performer's vulva after a man has ejaculated inside of her] top the intimacy chart. Nothing says, "I’d consider spending the next 18 years with you"like letting a guy nut inside you.
I don’t necessarily think “honest and direct” and “Mr. Funny” have to be mutually exclusive. But because of the way this question is phrased, I’m going to answer it as though all you want is sex, nothing more. If that’s the case, yes, I would like you to be upfront with your intentions, so that I can make an educated decision of whether or not this is the kind of interaction I want — that’s just good manners, no?
Remember: you shouldn’t assume that women aren’t also looking for casual hookups. Being good company (a.k.a. Mr. Funny) will always benefit you in the long run, because that will make us hornier.
I genuinely don’t know, and at this time I am uninterested in finding out.
The best way to introduce anything sexual to anyone is to watch a porno of that thing together (and no, I’m not just saying this because it puts money directly into my pocket). Next time you’re about to have sex, play a video of a woman being dominant and talk about how hot it is — it’ll give her a clue of what you like. If she doesn’t initiate something on her own, ask her if what they’re doing in the video is something she’d be down to try.
If porn isn’t really her thing, maybe just try talking about it the next time you’re having sex. You’d be surprised at how far a simple “You’re so hot. I really want you to ________!” goes.
HELL, YES. Eating ass , if nothing else, is the ultimate litmus test – I want to know right away from the very beginning of a relationship if I’m dealing with someone who eats ass or doesn’t. This is as crucial as whether someone is an outdoor or indoor person, or whether they like cats or dogs. Are you an anti-eating ass person? Sorry, I like foodies; goodbye.
I am from New York City and I would literally jump in a pizza oven, curl up into the fetal position, and remain there until I burned to death before I ever used a fork and knife to eat a slice. That said, if a man used a fork and knife to eat his, I would not look down upon him. It would pique my curiosity - I’d assume that either A). He is probably the kind of guy who is too afraid to fuck me on my period ; or B) He is into some very strange and kinky shit. I’d be willing to take my chances for a B.
Want to ask Asa your own burning sex and dating Qs? Shoot them to us on Twitter , Instagram or Facebook with #AskAsa.
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