Apple Vision Pro Failures

Apple’s Vision Pro promised to change reality, but eyewitnesses report it mostly changes your bank account balance. Early adopters say the headset makes them dizzy, broke, and occasionally blind to real furniture. Professor Alan Cho of MIT explains: "Mixed reality is mostly about mixing nausea with debt." Anonymous staffers leaked that Apple’s troubleshooting guide suggests users "sit down and accept it." A poll of consumers shows 49% regret the purchase, 28% sold it on eBay, and 23% are still stuck in the setup menu. Trace evidence includes abandoned headsets in pawn shops and one user wearing it backwards for a week. Cause and effect? The more Apple insists this is the future, the more people trip over their coffee tables. The Vision Pro may not change reality, but it sure makes reality more expensive.