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https://www.thebody.com/article/anal-intercourse-aftercare
When it comes to anal sex, we often discuss preparation (aka the three Ds: dieting, douching, dilating), but we rarely mention what to do after engaging in anal sex. As fantastic as it is, anal sex can be traumatic to the body. If we engage regularly, we need to know how to properly care for the area before, during, and after the fun is said and done.
“Anal sex is a high-pressured act with significant forces at play, all of which can be quite traumatic,” Evan Goldstein, D.O., CEO of Bespoke Surgical, a medical and wellness practice for queer men, tells TheBody. “The anal cavity encompasses skin, muscles, and blood vessels, each of which can be restrictive and limiting. What that means is if someone goes beyond their capacity (i.e., their hole is opened up too wide or with too much force), any of these components can tear or develop other complications.”
The bum doesn’t self-lubricate like the vagina, and, since spit doesn’t contain the proper lubricity to ease penetration, one must invest in a quality lube (and lots of it) for a more pleasurable sexual experience and to prevent injury.
I favor a thick, water-based lubricant or silicone lube for anal sex, and applying it to the penis or toy, the b-hole, and inside the hole, since penetration often reaches deeper than the rim area. Lube can be applied with a finger (which makes for great foreplay) or, if your toy or partner is large, a lube injector. You can even play with a lubricated toy to both lube and dilate your hole before the action begins.
Goldstein says “overaggressive anal douching” (i.e., douching with too much water or force) and the angle of the top and bottom’s pelvises are additional factors to consider. “Some people like to get creative with complex sexual positions (which are fine, but only once everyone is comfortable) or they’re simply too aggressive when they’re thrusting before the bottom has opened up,” Goldstein explains. “Unfortunately, there are many variables to think about that can increase the chances of potential anal injury—and they all need to be taken into consideration to minimize possible complications.”
Some people, such as myself, favor CBD suppositories when planning for longer, more intense sessions. These rocket-shaped pills ease inflammation and help relax the area––whether a bum or vagina––prior to intercourse. Some CBD oils offer similar benefits.
Whatever you do, do not use numbing lubricants. These have a reputation of masking pain, which is your body’s way of telling you to stop and reassess the situation. “It’s also going to numb his cock as well, which could result in you getting fucked for a very long time and further irritate the area,” adult actor Dallas Steele adds.
After you’ve bottomed, the area will be more sensitive than usual, so run a nice warm bath, spill in some Epsom salts, and bliss TF out. The warm water and Epsom salts will quell the area and relax your muscles. This makes for an opportune time to replay those sexy moments in your mind and clean the area. While a gentle soap will do the trick, you can be extra and purchase a bum exfoliator to clean and buff your booty hole. If you’re still feeling a little raw after your bath, pop an ibuprofen to help with inflammation.
“If, after four hours, you discover going number-two hurts, try using CBD oil, an anal numbing solution, or just regular dental numbing gel like Anbesol,” Steele recommends. “This will lessen the pain while your hole recovers from the pounding.”
After you’ve pooped, inspect the stool for blood. A little bleeding can be expected from time to time, but excessive pain, bleeding, or discharge should not, and you may want to consult a physician.
If you witness any of these symptoms, abstain from anal intercourse until they’re gone. This can take anywhere from a few days to a week to heal. In the meantime, take some Metamucil before bed, and drink plenty of water, so bowel movements are as smooth as possible, and take a sitz bath three to four times a day to keep the area clean. For good measure, use this time to consider how things can be done more carefully next time.
Moving forward, you may also want to reevaluate how you clean your bum after a bowel movement, since wet wipes are no good for your rear, especially if you engage in regular anal intercourse. Due to their ingredients, their moisture, and their material, wet wipes can irritate and even infect your precious booty hole.
Toilet paper can be similarly abrasive, especially when you wipe instead of blot. That’s why you should be using a bidet. They’re a bottom’s best friend and offer a spa-like experience for your tuffet.
To keep your hole in tip-top shape, do some Kegels to tighten your pelvic floor and teach your hole some new tricks. Just insert a toy into your bum, flex, and repeat—it’s as simple as that. Additionally, many adult actors swear by vitamin E to keep their holes camera-ready. Dolf Dietrich, who is no stranger to a gangbang, applies vitamin E oil once per day, both in and around his hole.
Some bum injuries require surgery. At Bespoke Surgical, the most common injury is an anal fissure, a tear in the skin that’s incredibly painful. Other potential consequences could be dilated veins (hemorrhoids), skin tag development (residual hemorrhoids or scarring from tears), anal infections (abscesses), and/or the development of an infected tunnel (anal fistula). All of these can be treated—just make sure you see a sex-positive, queer-friendly doctor who is knowledgeable about the bum.
As you can see, there are a lot of things to consider even after you’ve had butt sex. While these suggestions may not be as important as the planning––Steele insists, “The key to not being sore or even hurting after sex is to be prepared before, and to know your limits and experience level”––anal aftercare is good practice. We put our bums through a lot, and it’s time we give back.
Bobby Box is a freelance writer and certified sex educator. He's currently Grindr's sex columnist and his work has been published in Daily Beast, Playboy, Askmen, Elle, NewNowNext, The Advocate, and more.
© 2021 Remedy Health Media, LLC ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Kathleen Martin, from County Durham, says her two other children get on well with her partner Jack - despite there only being five years between him and her eldest
A MUM has told how she fell pregnant by her 16-year-old toyboy lover, who is almost half her age, after meeting him on Facebook - and they're now a "happy family".
Kathleen Martin, now 32, from County Durham, began chatting to teenager Jack Fucile, now 18, on the social media site in June 2015 after he offered to help sort out her garden.
After seven months together, Kathleen discovered she was pregnant - and Jack ended up delivering their baby in the bedroom when she went into labour three-and-a-half weeks early.
Now their son, Jay, is nine months old, and despite the fact Kathleen already has two children from previous relationships, with only five years between Jack and her eldest, she said they all get along "really well".
She explained: "We are just one big family now and it's really lovely.
"When Jay gets older we will tell him how his daddy brought him into the world - and tell him what a good job he did."
Kathleen admitted she did have reservations about dating Jack, who is 14 years younger than her and had only just left school when they met.
She told how Jack's mum Angela, who is eight years older than her, was "shocked" when she heard about their relationship.
But Kathleen said it didn't feel like there was an age gap between her and Jack, who now works as a car valeter.
She explained: "Jack is really mature for his age. Despite the age difference, we got on really well."
When she told Jack she was expecting, Kathleen said he was thrilled.
"Once he got over the shock, he loved the fact that he was going to be a dad," she recalled.
"My pregnancy progressed smoothly, and Jack was really overwhelmed when he saw the 20-week scan.
"He was so excited, he just couldn’t wait for the baby to arrive."
Kathleen told how she began experiencing early labour pains last August and the couple set off to Sunderland Royal Infirmary.
She recalled: "When they saw me there, they told me the baby wasn’t coming yet and to go back and wait for more contractions.
"I kept going backwards and forwards to the hospital over the next few days.
"I went five times and each time I was sent home because they said I was not ready to give birth yet.
"But I could feel the baby was on its way - I’d given birth to two children already, so I certainly knew what it felt like!"
After the fifth trip to the hospital, Kathleen told how she and Jack were getting ready for bed when her waters suddenly broke.
She said: "I was screaming with the pain while Jack rang the hospital, and they started to tell him what to do to help me give birth over the phone.
"He managed to get my pyjama bottoms off, and already he could see the baby’s head.
"Jack just went into auto pilot as he listened to instructions from the hospital staff and he guided the baby out and into his arms.
"It was literally all over in five minutes, and then the signal went on Jack’s mobile, cutting him off from the hospital."
Kathleen recalled how the baby looked worryingly blue, as if he wasn’t getting enough oxygen.
"Jack quickly sprang into action. He wrapped towels around the baby and started rubbing his body," she said.
"After a few minutes, he had turned a much more healthy pink colour and started to cry, which was such a relief.
"I was crying with the emotion of it all. Jack had been so fantastic. Even though he is only 18, he got down to it and delivered our baby without a hitch.
"Some men faint when they are in the hospital delivery room without even having to do anything!"
The couple took baby Jay, who weighed 6lb, to hospital for a check-up and he was given a clean bill of health.
Kathleen said her children, aged 13 and five, were "thrilled" to meet their baby brother and "love him to bits".
She added that Jack is now very much a hands-on dad.
"While other lads his age are hanging out with mates and drinking, Jack is here being a great father to baby Jay," she said.
"He doesn’t get squeamish when he changes a nappy and he’s great at bottle feeding him too.
"All our family and friends were amazed that Jack had delivered our baby. I still can’t believe it even now.
"When I look at him I just marvel about what he did."
Jack admitted: "It was a real shock when Kathleen started giving birth in the bedroom.
"It was all pretty surreal. None of my mates have delivered their own babies.
"I was in shock for a while afterwards, but I’m proud of myself for doing it."
Last month we told how a mum-of-four, 39, fell pregnant two months into dating her toyboy lover, 24, and was cruelly dubbed a "4 x 4" and "dole bludger" after they split.
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