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These women are tired of being groped
Filed under
sexual harassment
women's rights
8/9/17
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The other day I was driving on a busy freeway when I noticed a car near me trying to get my attention. We were driving fast and this driver seemed desperate for me to notice him. I was worried: “Are my lights on? Is fluid spilling out of my car? What the hell is he trying to tell me?” As his car pulled in line to me, I looked at him — a middle-aged guy with glasses and a goatee. Next minute, with aggressive hand gestures, I immediately understood his message. Cupping his chest he was using the universal sign for breasts, and then following that up with a thumbs up. Yup. So gross. Of course, he did it a few times just to be sure I had seen what he was trying to say, then, he sped off.
It’s been a few days since this disturbing incident but I can’t let the rage go — and not just because of his dangerous driving. No, what makes my blood boil is the thought that this guy has managed to get to about 40 years of age and has likely spent a lot of that time being a creep. And what annoys me further is that I know many people reading this are going to roll their eyes and think I should get over it rather than chastise him.
I’m fully aware Creepy Driver Man (CDM) did not murder anyone in this scenario, but he is guilty of sexually harassing a complete stranger and that’s not okay. And I’m not being dramatic when I say that this kind of entitled, predatory attitude towards women escalates to more serious things like rape.
I should point out that the recent driving incident happened in America but casual sexual harassment is a global problem that I personally have experienced in every country I’ve been to, and some of the worst of it at home in Australia. Not so fun fact: Australia has some of the highest rates of reported sexual assault in the world, according to the United Nations , and the Australian Bureau of Statistics reports that 1 in 5 women in Australia will experience sexual assault at some time in their life.
For me, it happened on a train in broad daylight where a stranger forced his hand up my skirt and grabbed at my “p—y,” as one world leader might say. Perhaps more shocking was the fact that I did nothing. I made no attempt to attract attention, I had no desire to make a fuss. The train doors opened and I rushed out onto the platform without looking back. Why? Because of our cultural obsession with raising girls to be “good.”
From birth, we are told not to be rude, or bossy, or difficult and above all, not to be a bitch. And it’s this obsession with “being nice” that is getting good girls into bad trouble.
Now, in my late 20s, I’m less of a “good girl” and more of a “nasty woman” becoming more and more incapable of pretending to smile when a man does something slimy. And it seems it might be a right of passage for females approaching a certain age.
In a January episode of her Women of the Hour podcast, Lena Dunham, 31, was in conversation with author Mary Karr when they discussed this very phenomenon. As the “sweet” and “nice” girl grows up, Karr said, “everything she’s thinking and not saying is going to rush to the front of her face and she will not be able to stop herself.”
Lena agreed, adding: “The things I would tolerate coming out of male mouths specifically, but human mouths generally, when I was 18, 19, 20, even until I was 28, I was just kind of like ready to let anyone say anything to me and then all this rage flooded to the surface.”
I can totally relate to that. Nowadays, I will happily tell strangers to “get f—ked” when they disrespect me.
But as women, when it comes to casual sexual harassment we do pick our battles. Going back to CDM, I have his number plate. I could shame him on the Internet, or try and find his wife and tell her she unfortunately married a grade A-creepasaurus, but I don’t want to engage in that because I don’t think the outcome will reward the effort.
Instead I’m going to change my battle cry — we need to change the way we raise boys. I know not all men are handsy-creeps but there are some members of their sex severely letting the team down. Too many men are silent bystanders to sexual harassment which is too often seen as a women’s issue, when it’s clearly a human issue.
I firmly believe empowering men to call out harassment when they see it from fellow blokes is one of the best weapons we have of ending this epidemic of sickos who think they can do what they want to women.
My new challenge is to ask the fellas to call out blokes who are guilty of “locker room talk” that objectifies women and reduces them to beings that only exist for sexual gratification.
And if that happened perhaps the ladies might not feel they have to pick and choose their sexual harassment battles but have allies in decent guys raised to be equally invested in making bacon out of chauvinist pigs.
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9:47PM Thursday, September 22nd, 2022
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More stories to check out before you go
SINGER Dua Lipa is definitely not shy. But her new short “skirt” left little to the imagination, shocking paparazzi in New York.
SINGER Dua Lipa has challenged the conventional purpose of a skirt by wearing one that doesn’t actually do the job it’s meant to.
The 22-year-old British songstress was photographed on an outing in New York this week, wearing her standard eye-popping attire.
Her super-short ribbon skirt rode up as she greeted waiting paparazzi, giving the photographers an eye-full.
Lipa teamed the non-existent skirt with a slashed “heroes’ top, which boldly advertised the fact she wasn’t wearing a bra.
Some fans loved her look, taking to Twitter to tweet their approval.
Others likened her took to a character from The Incredibles cartoon.
I love Edna from the Incredibles 🤩 @DUALIPA pic.twitter.com/0b4GwM7jpG
It’s not the first time Dua Lipa has made headlines with her barely there outfits.
The singer made headlines earlier this week when she slammed United Airlines cabin crew for serving nuts around her highly allergic sister.
She kicked off at the airline on Twitter after a member of staff said that her sister would have to use her epi pen if there was a problem.
She tweeted: “I can’t believe I’m on a United flight right now and I told the steward that my sister was severely allergic to nuts and his reply was ‘we’re not a nut free airline’ so if she has an epi pen she might have to use that as we can’t not serve other passengers in your section nuts.
“Is it just me or is that kinds mental???”
The singer’s anger was met with a sympathetic response from members of the public, many of whom said that the crew should have made an announcement to the rest of the plane.
However, others said that the star’s sister shouldn’t “expect the world to stop so you can catch up”.
I can’t believe i’m on a @united flight rn and I told the steward that my sister was severly allergic to nuts and his reply was “we’re not a nut free airline so if she has an epi pen she might have to use that as we can’t not serve other passengers in your section nutsâ€
One Twitter user with the handle @texbecca3 said: “What you can’t do is walk into a situation and demand that everybody conform to you.
“You have to plan ahead if you have a severe allergy. If she’s not doing that, then she’s putting herself at risk.”
The airline has since apologised to Dua for the situation, tweeting: “We apologise for this situation. Passenger safety is our top priority.
“We can’t guarantee an allergen-free environment but we work to address allergy concerns on-board ie we don’t serve pre-packaged peanuts.
“We want to address your concerns so let’s connect when you land. We’ll contact our in-flight crew too.”
The First Lady has previously been accused of using her fashion to make a statement – and now it seems Ivanka may be sending a message too.
Despite its huge price-tag, shoppers have snapped up a designer dress the future first lady wore in a frenzy dubbed “the Jill Biden effect”.
YouTube star Emily Davies, 24, shared a bikini snap that has left fans gobsmacked and questioning if the swimwear was really a bikini at all.
9:47PM Thursday, September 22nd, 2022
A NOTE ABOUT RELEVANT ADVERTISING: We collect information about the content (including ads) you use across this site and use it to make both advertising and content more relevant to you on our network and other sites. Find out more about our policy and your choices, including how to opt-out. Sometimes our articles will try to help you find the right product at the right price. We may receive payment from third parties for publishing this content or when you make a purchase through the links on our sites.
Nationwide News Pty Ltd © 2022. All times AEST (GMT +10). Powered by WordPress.com VIP
More stories to check out before you go
SINGER Dua Lipa is definitely not shy. But her new short “skirt” left little to the imagination, shocking paparazzi in New York.
SINGER Dua Lipa has challenged the conventional purpose of a skirt by wearing one that doesn’t actually do the job it’s meant to.
The 22-year-old British songstress was photographed on an outing in New York this week, wearing her standard eye-popping attire.
Her super-short ribbon skirt rode up as she greeted waiting paparazzi, giving the photographers an eye-full.
Lipa teamed the non-existent skirt with a slashed “heroes’ top, which boldly advertised the fact she wasn’t wearing a bra.
Some fans loved her look, taking to Twitter to tweet their approval.
Others likened her took to a character from The Incredibles cartoon.
It’s not the first time Dua Lipa has made headlines with her barely there outfits.
The singer made headlines earlier this week when she slammed United Airlines cabin crew for serving nuts around her highly allergic sister.
She kicked off at the airline on Twitter after a member of staff said that her sister would have to use her epi pen if there was a problem.
She tweeted: “I can’t believe I’m on a United flight right now and I told the steward that my sister was severely allergic to nuts and his reply was ‘we’re not a nut free airline’ so if she has an epi pen she might have to use that as we can’t not serve other passengers in your section nuts.
“Is it just me or is that kinds mental???”
The singer’s anger was met with a sympathetic response from members of the public, many of whom said that the crew should have made an announcement to the rest of the plane.
However, others said that the star’s sister shouldn’t “expect the world to stop so you can catch up”.
One Twitter user with the handle @texbecca3 said: “What you can’t do is walk into a situation and demand that everybody conform to you.
“You have to plan ahead if you have a severe allergy. If she’s not doing that, then she’s putting herself at risk.”
The airline has since apologised to Dua for the situation, tweeting: “We apologise for this situation. Passenger safety is our top priority.
“We can’t guarantee an allergen-free environment but we work to address allergy concerns on-board ie we don’t serve pre-packaged peanuts.
“We want to address your concerns so let’s connect when you land. We’ll contact our in-flight crew too.”
The First Lady has previously been accused of using her fashion to make a statement – and now it seems Ivanka may be sending a message too.
Despite its huge price-tag, shoppers have snapped up a designer dress the future first lady wore in a frenzy dubbed “the Jill Biden effect”.
YouTube star Emily Davies, 24, shared a bikini snap that has left fans gobsmacked and questioning if the swimwear was really a bikini at all.
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Spring break — when students go wild (here are photos to prove it)
Spring break — when students go wild (here are photos to prove it)
Mar 14, 2017
Mar 14, 2017
Updated
Jul 6, 2021
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Spring break is a time when hedonism runs rampant. Here is what it has looked like in the past for University of Arizona students and others.
Anheuser Busch Marketing Rep Alex Durazo, 25, from Los Angeles, poses for a photo with a group of teenagers from Chapparal High School in Scottsdale. Durazo was in Rocky Point, Mexico promoting Budweiser beer with the Budweiser Party Patrol. Photo by Jeffry Scott / Arizona Daily Star. Photo taken on 3/15/98.
Dancing to a song which includes the lyrics: "let's have group sex" during a spring break binge at the Sunset Cantina in Rocky Point, Mexico. Photo by Jeffry Scott / The Arizona Daily Star Photo taken on 3/13/98.
Katye Havens, 18, a student at Chapparal High School in Scottsdale, gets a temporary tattoo applied to her breast by Anheuser Busch Marketing Rep. Alex Durazo, 25. Durazo, a rep from Los Angeles was in Rocky Point, Mexico to promote Budweiser, which was just recently introduced to Mexico. His job, with the Budweiser Party Patrol, was to promote brand awareness and loyalty to the kids attending Spring Break. The ttatoos were applied with an ice-cube, which Durazo would place in his mouth. Photo by Jeffry Scott / The Arizona Daily Star
Anheuser Busch Marketing Rep Alex Durazo, 25, from Los Angeles, seals a freshly applied temporary tattoo with a kiss onto 18-year-old spring breaker, Meagan Brenner, from Chapparal High School in Scottsdale. Durazo was in Rocky Point, Mexico promoting Budweiser beer with the Budweiser Party Patrol. Photo by Jeffry Scott / Arizona Daily Star.
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