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It felt as if that night wouldn't pass. I had a throbbing headache and couldn't stop crying. I don't remember when I slept off. I woke up to find my husband standing in front of my bed with last night's question: "So, what have you decided? Is your answer yes or no?"
I didn't know what to say. I gathered some courage to speak up and mumbled: "Please go to the office, I'll call you by evening and let you know my answer, I promise."
He threatened: "I will call you myself at 4pm. I want the answer and it should be 'yes'. Otherwise be ready to get punished."
By punishment, he meant anal sex. He knew that it was extremely painful for me and he used it as a tool to torture me.
He and his elder sister left for the office. I was now alone and struggling with my thoughts.
After a few hours I gathered the courage to dial my father's number and told him that I couldn't live with my husband anymore.
#HerChoice is a series of true life-stories of 12 Indian women. These accounts challenge and broaden the idea of the "modern Indian woman" - her life choices, aspirations, priorities and desires.
I was afraid that my father would be angry but his response amazed me. "Pack your bags and get out of there," he said.
I took a book, gathered my educational certificates and rushed towards the bus station.
After boarding the bus, I sent a message to my husband. "My answer is 'no' and I am going back home," it said. After that I switched off my mobile phone.
After a few hours, I was home, surrounded by my family. I had left my husband's house after only two months of marriage.
I met my husband, Sahil, when I was in the final year of graduation. He was a jovial man. I liked being around him and with time we fell in love.
We used to go on dates, talk for countless hours on phone. It seemed as if life was almost too kind to me.
But this rosy romance did not continue for long. Gradually I started realising that our relationship lacked equality. It wasn't what I had been looking for.
Our relationship was becoming like my parents' relationship. The only difference; my mother kept silent while I could not stop myself from speaking up.
My father used to scream at my mother for petty things. He would even hit her and the only thing she responded with was tears.
When Sahil and I had an argument, it would often turn into a scuffle. He would use force to get intimate with me and scream at me if I refused.
I remember him once asking me: "Suppose I hit you someday, then what would you do?"
The question stunned me. I controlled my anger with great difficulty and replied, "I would break up with you that very day."
What he said next shocked me even more. He said, "It means you don't love me. Love should be unconditional."
After this, we didn't talk for almost a month.
Our fights became more frequent. Many times I'd try to end our relationship but he would apologise every time. I wanted to get rid of him forever and don't know why I wasn't able to do it.
Meanwhile, I was being pressured into marriage.
I was a teacher now. I'd be in class, teaching children and my parents would call me.
The same conversation would be repeated. "What have you thought about marriage? Why don't you marry Sahil? If not him then let us find a suitable match for you. At least think about your younger sisters…"
If anything went wrong at home, it would be blamed on my staying single.
Mother fell sick because I wasn't getting married. My father's business suffered losses because I wasn't getting married.
I was so frustrated that I finally said yes to marriage. I was still not ready for it and didn't believe Sahil's promise that he would change his attitude.
My fears came true after our wedding. Sahil made me a puppet, dancing to his tunes.
I was fond of poetry and used to my write my poems on Facebook. He forbade me from doing it. He even started dictating what I should wear.
One day he told me that I should finish all my reading and writing work by night. "If you leave me dissatisfied in bed, I will have to go to someone else."
He'd say that I wasn't making him happy and would advise me to watch pornography so I could learn some techniques.
And then he got this obsession with seeking work in Mumbai.
He said: "You stay here, do your job and send me money to support me there, and then you take out a loan so I can buy a house."
This is what he wanted me to say yes to. That night he had pushed me on the bed and forced me into anal sex just for that yes.
A line had been crossed. I left him the morning after.
I was a well-educated woman who could earn and live on her own. Yet, my heart was sinking when I left Sahil's home.
There was a fear of being judged by my own family and society. But even bigger than that was the pain in my heart.
When I reached home, my hair was dishevelled and eyes swollen as I had cried all night.
Newly married women look ravishing when they visit home for the first time after marriage. But my face was pale and the keen eyes of my neighbours guessed why.
People started pouring in. Some would say: "Such a terrible thing has happened to you." Others consoled me that Sahil would come to apologise and take me back.
Then there were a few who thought that a woman should not make such a harsh choice over petty issues.
Everyone had something to say but their opinions could not change my decision.
It has been seven months since I left Sahil's home and now I am choosing my own path. I have received a fellowship; I am doing a job and studying as well.
We have been going to police stations and courts as the legal procedure of divorce is not over yet.
I still wake up with a start at night. I still have nightmares.
I haven't been able to forget what I had to face but I am trying to move on in earnest.
My trust in love and relationships is definitely shaken, but not broken yet. I have decided to take some time for myself. I am proud that I didn't stay silent and got out of this abusive relationship before it was too late.
That is why I believe that my future will be better than my past and present.
This is a true life-story of a woman who lives in western India as told to BBC reporter Sindhuvasini Tripathi, produced by Divya Arya. The woman's identity has been kept anonymous on request.
BBC 100 Women names 100 influential and inspirational women around the world every year and shares their stories. Find us on Facebook , Instagram and Twitter and use #100Women
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Pedophile Jeffrey Epstein remains behind bars in sex trafficking trial
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Epstein had stash of cash, diamonds and a fake Saudi passport
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Published: 22:03 BST, 23 July 2019 | Updated: 16:46 BST, 1 November 2020
An emboldened Jeffrey Epstein traveled the world with one of his underage sex slaves in the years before his arrest, and even took the photos to prove it according to court papers.
That victim, Virginia Roberts, included these photos as proof of Epstein's depraved behavior in multiple lawsuits.
In one she is seen on a New York City ferry while others show her horse riding and posing up in front of a museum treasure chest.
Those three photos were taken by Epstein himself she claims, when he shuttled her to New Mexico for the weekend.
All the while raping her and letting his friends do the same, according to Roberts' lawsuit.
Kids incorporated: Virginia Roberts (above in NYC at 15 in a photo taken by Epstein was just 15 when she was recruited while working at the Mar-a-Lago spa to be Jeffrey Epstein's sex slave
Snow day: She is now suing the United States for how they handled the prosecution of Epstein, and in her filing has included pictures he took of her around the world (above in New Mexico at 17)
Fool's gold: Robert was able to see the world during her years with Epstein, who flew her around the world while he and his friends raped the teenager (Roberts above at a museum in New Mexico in 2001 in a photo snapped by Epstein)
'Epstein took me on a ferry boat on one of the trips to New York City and there he took the picture above. I was approximately 15 or 16 years old at the time,' she writes of the first photo.
In that picture, Roberts looks years younger than her age as she smiles for the camera while on an unchaperoned trip with Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell over 1,000 miles away from home.
'You can see how young I looked in the photograph,' she notes, while also revealing she was raped by Epstein at his Manhattan mansion on that trip.
'Over the next few weeks, Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell trained me to do what they wanted, including sexual activities and the use of sexual toys,' she wrote.
'The training was in New York and Florida, at Epstein's mansions. It was basically every day and was like going to school. I also had to have sex with Epstein many times.'
Roberts said that she was trained to be 'everything a man wanted me to be.'
The photos that were used by Roberts make it clear that she was with Epstein at some of his properties, most notably his ranch in New Mexico.
Epstein served just a year in prison for his offenses following a 2005 criminal probe
'The first one is a museum in Santa Fe, New Mexico. We had gone sightseeing for the day. Epstein took this picture of me. I was approximately 17 at the time, judging from the looks of it,' write Roberts.
'At the end of the day we returned to Epstein's Zorro Ranch. The second picture is me on one of Epstein's horses on the ranch in New Mexico. The following two are from wintertime in New Mexico.'
Roberts and another underage victim are suing the government for the sweetheart plea deal they offered Epstein, and for failing to provide the plaintiffs and other victims with any concrete information about the sex offender.
In her case, Roberts did in fact get a letter from the FBI, but not until long after the plea deal had negotiated and Epstein's non-prosecution deal and signed.
That letter is attached as an exhibit in one filing, and shows it was mailed in September, more than two months after Epstein signed off on the deal in June .
'You can see how young I looked in the photograph,' Roberts noted in one court filing
Tree of life: 'If I left Epstein, he knew all kinds of powerful people. He could have had me killed or abducted, and I always knew he was capable of that,' said Roberts
Roberts, who was the first and remains one of the few Epstein victims who has gone public with her allegations, recounted how she found herself being shuttled around the world and raped by men three times her age in court papers.
'Epstein had promised me a lot, and I knew if I left I would be in big trouble. I also knew that I was a witness to a lot of illegal and very bad behavior by Epstein and his friends,' stated one filing.
'If I left Epstein, he knew all kinds of powerful people. He could have had me killed or abducted, and I always knew he was capable of that if I did not obey him. He let me know that he knew many people in high places. Speaking about himself, he said 'I can get away' with things. I was very scared, particularly since I was a teenager.'
Virginia Roberts pictured with Prince Andrew, then a friend of Epstein, in 2001
And she was not the only one who was scared she claims in court documents.
'When I was with him, Epstein had sex with underage girls on a daily basis. His interest in this kind of sex was obvious to the people around him,' noted Roberts.
'The activities were so obvious and bold that anyone spending any significant time at one of Epstein's residences would have clearly been aware of what was going on.'
Ms Roberts in the past claimed in US court papers that she slept with Prince Andrew, a former friend of Epstein – however he has always denied any involvement and the allegations were later struck from the record as being 'immaterial and impertinent'.
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