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Published on November 9, 2021 @ 08:00AM
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Sexual wellness brand Maude has launched a new sex toy, just in time for holiday gifting... and if you think that's weird, be prepared for Dakota Johnson to convince you otherwise. (Spoiler: It's a butt plug that happens to look like a mini Christmas tree, and it comes in a chic moss-green shade, making it all the more festive in a stocking!)
Dubbed 'cone', the anal plug has been in the works since Johnson joined the sexual wellness brand as co-creative director and investor last year. "When I first came onto the company, I asked if there would ever be some kind of an anal product because I know that there are so many people that are curious about it and, you know, there are so many parts of one's anus that are erogenous zones that I think could just be fun for people to explore," Johnson tells InStyle .
Entering this new territory, so to speak, is also a logical next step for a brand that has always taken an inclusive, genderless approach to its products. "We wanted to create products that also catered to anal sex as a basic part of the sexual experience," Maude CEO and founder Éva Goicochea says in a press release. "So often, this category is treated as a kink or taboo when it's something that every type of person can engage in."
A bit about the plug itself: Just like the rest of Maude's products, it's made from body-safe, soft-touch, FDA-grade silicone that's waterproof, durable, and easy to clean. The tapered plug, which mirrors the structural shape and design of the brand's first vibe is considered "starter size," and was designed with input from Maude's customers, both male and female, to be "really approachable, especially for new users," Tyler Aldridge, Maude's director of product, tells InStyle . Ringing in at $30, it's also affordable for those who want to experiment with butt plug play without making a major investment first.
The Maude team knows as well as anyone that an anal plug tends to be more stigmatized and taboo than other sexual wellness products. But, as Goicochea tells InStyle , continuing to talk about it as something you shouldn't be ashamed of is how we can change perspectives and "chart a new way to speak about the category." And, as Dakota Johnson points out, look how far we've come with vibrators.
"Just as an anal plug is 'taboo', a lot of women think a vibrator is taboo — and a lot of women can't orgasm from penetrative sex alone . I think that that fact is obviously becoming more well-known, but there are people that I have gifted a vibe to, and it's been their first vibrator, and that is a very cool thing to do," Johnson tells InStyle . "But similarly with cone, you know, stimulating a man's prostate or even a female's A-zone can add so much to sex and also be beneficial for prostate health," she adds, skillfully putting into action her mission to make taking care of your body in a sexual way , and talking about it, as normal as skincare or exercise.
In fact, educating people on 'taboo' topics is one of the most rewarding parts of working with an intimacy brand, she says. "A lot of men and women will be like, I heard you're involved in this company and they always kind of have a hushed voice [when they ask questions]. And I'm like, it's totally cool! I love being able to speak about sexual wellness, standing behind Maude," Johnson says. "It has sparked a conversation that is so necessary. As Eva says, sexuality is a basic human need and it's so true. Everyone should have access to quality education, first of all, and products surrounding sexual wellness."
So, yeah, Johnson is very serious when she says you should gift an anal plug to everyone on your holiday shopping list — but she is also still game to joke about it. "Oh, this is going in everybody's stocking. Are you kidding? It's the perfect stocking stuffer. You think your uncle hasn't wanted a butt plug his entire life? You're lying," Johnson says with a laugh.
"I think it's a thing a lot of people don't want to buy for themselves. First of all, namely, because they're called 'butt plugs,' and everyone's going to be like, Oh God, I'm not going to buy that. I don't want that on my credit card statement, " she continues, before seamlessly transitioning back to serious mode, and demonstrating why she is so perfectly suited to this job of de-stigmatizing sexual wellness. "But people are more curious than you want to believe they are, and people are more sexual than they want to believe they are. I think everyone should have a cone for Christmas."
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Anal Sex Primer: Expert Tips for Your First Time
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For first-timers, anal sex may seem scary, unapproachable, unsexy, overwhelming, and maybe even a little confusing when it comes to pleasure and pain for the receiver. That’s why, Lawrence Johnson, co-founder and CEO of Pure for Men , advises the best thing to do to prepare for anal sex is self-play: “You’ll want to know and push your own limits so as to leave little doubt about what feels good, what hurts, and what works before bringing a teammate into the field.”
This is particularly significant for the receiver or receptive participant (we’ll talk about the insertive partner shortly). As the receiver, this starts by settling into a place where you feel safe and comfortable for self-play then simply use your fingers to start stimulating the rear. Sexologist Caitlin V. Neal recommends starting with a dry finger gently resting on the anus. Once you’re comfortable (and a little turned on), try circling the anus with a wet finger. If all this continues to feel good, it’s time to get lube involved (a viscous lube like silicone or water-based is long-lasting, which decreases reapplication). Lube up a finger and slowly penetrate with that finger; feel how the anus relaxes and perhaps insert another finger. If this is all still pleasurable, Neal recommends getting a toy involved. “Gradually working up to larger items, including a penis, will help the receiving partners have a better experience.”
While you can experiment with this type of progressive masturbation in one sitting or work up to it over a number of days, taking your time is key. Fabian Prado, co-founder and CMO of Pure for Men, reminds us, “that part of the body is not used to having things inserted, but as most will find, it can bring great pleasure.” Prado suggests butt plugs ( try B-Vibe ) as training tools that can help in anal exploration while toys like dildos can allow you to control your own pace to replicate a penis.
“An often unshared secret about receptive anal sex is that sometimes the sensations are reversed. Many people find that the same muscle contraction we use when ‘pushing’ on the toilet is the same one that helps your body ‘receive’ during anal sex,” says Johnson. “So do the same thing during the insertive part of the process and you can reduce or eliminate pain/discomfort. It takes some getting used to!”
Once you have an understanding of your likes, tolerance, and the way that anal orgasms work, you may want to start incorporating it into your sexual routine. If you’ve never talked to your partner about anal sex, Daniel Saynt, founder and chief conspirator of The New Society for Wellness (NSFW), a sex- and cannabis-friendly private members club in NYC, recommends “preparing for the conversation by asking for a safe, non-judgmental space to talk about sexual desires.”
“Don’t be pushy,” emphasizes Searah Deysach, sex educator and owner of sex shop Early to Bed . If you’ve taken the proper time to explore your own desires and needs around anal sex, you can “explain what turns you on about it and how much you want to explore it with them in particular,” she says. Deysach also suggests using this conversation as an opportunity to find out what new activities your partner might be interested in. And if you’re still nervous, Prado suggests sending your partner content and videos on the topic to help broach the subject. Along those lines, Neal recommends posing it as a question: “I saw a movie the other day, or I read an article the other day about anal sex, is that something you’d be open to try?”
If your partner is receptive, you likely aren’t going to pounce and perform anal sex right away. Set a day and time for this exciting new concept; many partners like to prepare for anal sex with a certain diet the day before and day of, as well as a cleansing routine (to make things less messy).
“Because many people are concerned about feces, limiting your diet on the day that you plan to have anal sex can help reduce any uncomfortable experiences. The anal cavity doesn’t actually hold feces—it’s stored above in the colon—but it can still be nice to eat a diet high in fiber and low in fat and animal products the day of and the day before,” says Neal. If adjusting your diet seems like too much work, you can add a fiber supplement like Pure for Men and Pure for Her to ensure digestive cleanliness.
In addition to diet, the receiving partner may perform a water enema. If you decide to do this, however, “leave time [about an hour] between your douche and the sex to allow your butt to recover a little,” Deysach says.
Lastly, before you even get in bed (or wherever you might experiment with anal sex with your partner), Neal wants you to remember that although you might have an enlightening experience, that doesn’t mean it’s going to translate with a partner. “Go into your first anal sex experience with high hopes and low expectations,” she says. “You don’t have to achieve full anal penetration, thrusting, ejaculation on the first time…you likely won’t.”
Start with traditional foreplay, then direct that foreplay to the anal region and anal stimulation. If things feel comfortable, maintain that stimulation “to get really turned on, close to orgasm,” says Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey , psychologist and gender, sex, and relationship diversity therapist, and intimacy coach. This will help the entire body relax. Since the anus is not self-lubricating, lube will need to be applied, and if you want to reduce friction even further, use a condom. Though some experts recommend desensitizing lube, Deysach recommends against relying on creams with a numbing effect as “pain is your body’s way of telling you to stop or slow down,” which is essential during anal sex.
Neal says most first-timers start anal with the receiving partner on all fours, which allows them to control depth and pace. Insertive partners should go slow and listen to the receptive partner; Johnson says, “don’t you dare just stick it in,” as that can be painful and even dangerous.
When the receptive partner’s muscles are warmed up and relaxed, Johnson warns the receptive partner should try not to climax too early, as continuing on may make receiving less than enjoyable. That’s why he refers to anal sex as an “art.” If you’re mastering the basics and want to get more toys involved, additions like cock rings for the insertive partner may increase performance time, while beads and clit vibrators for a receptive partner with a vagina enhance the experience and can lead to a double orgasm.
Important to note: Never switch between the anus and vagina without thoroughly cleaning the penis, as this can cause infection, Bisbey says. Cleanliness is a factor throughout the sexual experience, and when you’re finished, Neal says using pre-moistened wipes are a quick way to clean up the extra lube and any mess, before hopping in the shower to refresh and unwind.
Lastly, if the experience was or wasn’t enjoyable, the most important thing you can do with your partner is communicate what you did and didn’t like to ensure you’re on the same page about trying anal again or, perhaps, deciding it’s not for you.
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Anal Sex Primer: Expert Tips for Your First Time
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Carve out your core and sculpt the elusive abdominal V line with these lower-abs workouts.
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For first-timers, anal sex may seem scary, unapproachable, unsexy, overwhelming, and maybe even a little confusing when it comes to pleasure and pain for the receiver. That’s why, Lawrence Johnson, co-founder and CEO of Pure for Men , advises the best thing to do to prepare for anal sex is self-play: “You’ll want to know and push your own limits so as to leave little doubt about what feels good, what hurts, and what works before bringing a teammate into the field.”
This is particularly significant for the receiver or receptive participant (we’ll talk about the insertive partner shortly). As the receiver, this starts by settling into a place where you feel safe and comfortable for self-play then simply use your fingers to start stimulating the rear. Sexologist Caitlin V. Neal recommends starting with a dry finger gently resting on the anus. Once you’re comfortable (and a little turned on), try circling the anus with a wet finger. If all this continues to feel good, it’s time to get lube involved (a viscous lube like silicone or water-based is long-lasting, which decreases reapplication). Lube up a finger and slowly penetrate with that finger; feel how the anus relaxes and perhaps insert another finger. If this is all still pleasurable, Neal recommends getting a toy involved. “Gradually working up to larger items, including a penis, will help the receiving partners have a better experience.”
While you can experiment with this type of progressive masturbation in one sitting or work up to it over a number of days, taking your time is key. Fabian Prado, co-founder and CMO of Pure for Men, reminds us, “that part of the body is not used to having things inserted, but as most will find, it can bring great pleasure.” Prado suggests butt plugs ( try B-Vibe ) as training tools that can help in anal exploration while toys like dildos can allow you to control your own pace to replicate a penis.
“An often unshared secret about receptive anal sex is that sometimes the sensations are reversed. Many people find that the same muscle contraction we use when ‘pushing’ on the toilet is the same one that helps your body ‘receive’ during anal sex,” says Johnson. “So do the same thing during the insertive part of the process and you can reduce or eliminate pain/discomfort. It takes some getting used to!”
Once you have an understanding of your likes, tolerance, and the way that anal orgasms work, you may want to start incorporating it into your sexual routine.
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