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Medically reviewed by Janet Brito, Ph.D., LCSW, CST β Written by Zawn Villines on August 6, 2020
Anal sex can be very pleasurable for people of all sexes and genders, but for many, it is uncomfortable. With a gentle approach, open communication, and mutual consent, it is possible for people to have anal sex without pain.
In this article, we discuss how to prepare for anal sex and lessen pain during it. We also provide general tips for safer sex.
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Using a water-based or silicone lubricant may make anal sex less painful.
For most people, anal sex can be painful, especially when it is their first time or is with a partner who is not gentle. In a survey of 412 people by the San Francisco Aids Foundation, 96% of participants reported having, or having had, anal sex. Of those participants:
Anal sex may hurt for several reasons, including:
However, anal sex does not have to hurt, and severe pain may indicate that a person is doing something potentially harmful.
Before having anal sex, it is important to talk with a partner about consent, why they want to have anal sex, and how to make the experience as pleasurable as possible. Some topics to discuss include:
Some strategies that can make anal sex less painful include:
Many people worry that anal sex will be messy, but for most people in good health, there is little or no poop afterward. Having some wipes or towels on hand can help with the cleanup process. It is important to wash any toys that penetrated the anus.
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No sex can be fully safe, but a few strategies can reduce the risk of both anal sex injuries and transmitting an infection to a partner:
It is a myth that anal sex damages the anus or causes the leakage of poop. As long as a person moves slowly and does not do anything that injures them, long-term anal sex is safe. Some common questions about anal sex include:
There is usually only poop in the rectum or anus when a person needs to poop. So, unless a person feels the need to have a bowel movement, there should not be significant poop during anal sex. Sometimes, a person will notice trace bits of poop, but not large quantities.
Anal sex should not make a person poop unless there is something else wrong. For example, a person who is severely constipated or has nerve damage may not notice that they need to poop before anal sex and might get the urge to go during it.
Gentle, careful anal sex should not affect pooping or damage the muscles of the anus. However, very aggressive anal sex, penetration with large objects, or anal sex that causes significant bleeding may tear the anus or damage the muscles, causing fecal incontinence.
While more research is necessary, a 2016 studyTrusted Source suggests that anal sex may be a contributing factor toward fecal incontinence in adults.
Anal sex should not cause bleeding. However, people with hemorrhoids may find that anal penetration irritates the hemorrhoids, leading to bleeding.
Similarly, rough anal sex may cause anal fissures, which are tiny tears in the wall of the anus. A few drops of blood are not usually cause for concern, but heavy bleeding may be a sign of an emergency.
Gentle, careful anal sex should not cause serious injuries. However, penetrating a person with objects that can slip into their rectum, such as dildos without a flared base, may cause those objects to get stuck, making medical care necessary.
Rough anal sex may damage the walls of the anus, injuring the muscles and skin.
The sensation of anal sex may feel unfamiliar or uncomfortable, even to people who eventually grow to enjoy it.
A person should not feel obligated or pressured to have anal sex, and people should only perform anal sex if all parties enthusiastically consent.
With a gentle and cautious approach, plenty of communication, and an understanding of safer sex, many people of all sexes and genders may find anal sex pleasurable.
Last medically reviewed on August 6, 2020
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Medically reviewed by Janet Brito, Ph.D., LCSW, CST β Written by Zawn Villines on August 6, 2020
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