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I am a 28-year-old woman, happily married for three years to a man I love. He is handsome, romantic, loving and funny. He is sexually experienced and knows how to satisfy a woman. We have a good relationship, but there is just something missing and I yearn to have sex with other men.
Many a time when I meet other men I imagine what they look like naked and what it would be like to make love to them. I want to caress them and for them to caress me. My husband is aware of my attraction to other guys.
We have a very close relationship and have discussed it several times. At first he found it quite painful, naturally, but I have reassured him of my love for him and my commitment to our marriage, and he understands more where I’m coming from.
I don’t feel I can go on like this and have asked his permission to sleep with other men. He has consented to this and the next time I find myself attracted to another man I am going to proposition him.
You’re playing with fire and risk getting horribly burnt. You might find this fantasy of yours isn’t as good as you imagined it would be and you could lose your husband in the bargain. Yes, he’s saying you can do it, but it’s not because he wants you to, it’s because he loves you and is frightened he’ll lose you if he doesn’t agree to it. Think carefully about how you’d feel if he decided to do the same.
This isn’t my idea of a good relationship. Some people have open marriages and they work for them, but in my opinion it’s usually more open for one partner than the other and someone inevitably gets hurt.
Also, bear in mind that it’s easy to say you want to sleep with other men but, until you do it, you won’t know how it’s going to affect your marriage. Be aware that it could blow it apart, whatever your hubby feels now, and completely change how you feel about each other.
I do think it’s a shame you can’t find a way of creating that spark in your sex life with him. Or maybe you just want the best of both worlds. If you were telling me your hubby wanted to do this, I'd be saying he wants to have his cake and eat it!
You say such lovely things about him, but I think you’re being incredibly selfish. We all see other people and think they’re attractive, but most of us in relationships don’t act on it. You need to ask yourself, honestly, if you really want to stay in this marriage.
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The Standard Group Plc is a multi-media organization with investments in media platforms spanning newspaper print
operations, television, radio broadcasting, digital and online services. The Standard Group is recognized as a
leading multi-media house in Kenya with a key influence in matters of national and international interest.
Standard Group Plc HQ Office,
The Standard Group Center,Mombasa Road.
P.O Box 30080-00100,Nairobi, Kenya.
Telephone number: 0203222111, 0719012111
Email: corporate@standardmedia.co.ke
More stories to check out before you go
I am a 28-year-old woman, happily married for three years to a man I love. He is handsome, romantic, loving and funny. He is sexually experienced and knows how to satisfy a woman. We have a good relationship, but there is just something missing and I yearn to have sex with other men.
Many a time when I meet other men I imagine what they look like naked and what it would be like to make love to them. I want to caress them and for them to caress me. My husband is aware of my attraction to other guys.
We have a very close relationship and have discussed it several times. At first he found it quite painful, naturally, but I have reassured him of my love for him and my commitment to our marriage, and he understands more where I’m coming from.
I don’t feel I can go on like this and have asked his permission to sleep with other men. He has consented to this and the next time I find myself attracted to another man I am going to proposition him.
You’re playing with fire and risk getting horribly burnt. You might find this fantasy of yours isn’t as good as you imagined it would be and you could lose your husband in the bargain. Yes, he’s saying you can do it, but it’s not because he wants you to, it’s because he loves you and is frightened he’ll lose you if he doesn’t agree to it. Think carefully about how you’d feel if he decided to do the same.
This isn’t my idea of a good relationship. Some people have open marriages and they work for them, but in my opinion it’s usually more open for one partner than the other and someone inevitably gets hurt.
Also, bear in mind that it’s easy to say you want to sleep with other men but, until you do it, you won’t know how it’s going to affect your marriage. Be aware that it could blow it apart, whatever your hubby feels now, and completely change how you feel about each other.
I do think it’s a shame you can’t find a way of creating that spark in your sex life with him. Or maybe you just want the best of both worlds. If you were telling me your hubby wanted to do this, I'd be saying he wants to have his cake and eat it!
You say such lovely things about him, but I think you’re being incredibly selfish. We all see other people and think they’re attractive, but most of us in relationships don’t act on it. You need to ask yourself, honestly, if you really want to stay in this marriage.
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I have been married for 5 years. Our sex life was very lusty and fulfilling when we first met - but it soon settled down to having sex once a month after a drink.
My husband is a loving man but is not demonstrative. We have chatted about the lack of sex in our relationship but end up going around in circles I was happy to go through this until we were both ready to sort it out, until last year. We usually have a drink every weekend and I often fall into a deep drink induced sleep
But I began waking in the morning feeling sore down below. I had the feeling that I had had sex but did not remember - I would ask my husband if we had sex the night before and he would say no. This continued every time I fell asleep after a drink and I could not work out why.
One night just out of curiosity I went to bed first as normal but decided to pretend to be in a deep sleep (I made sure I did not have a lot to drink) to see if anything was going on. My husband came to bed and within 15 minutes just as I was drifting off he started to touch me, and went on to have sex with me. He clearly didn¿t want me awake.
The next day I asked my husband if we had sex, and he said no! I was disgusted and felt violated and had to face him about it in a way he could not deny it. So I waited until next time pretended I was asleep again - but this time half way through I just pretended to wake and asked him what he was doing.
He came up with every excuse under the sun other than admit to what he was doing. He was distraught and said he would cut his hands off before touching me without my consent in that way again. I was very upset that he was getting off on this kind of sex preferring that to the loving intimate adventurous sex life I was trying to get back. He promised it would not happen again.
Now I cannot relax and feel I daren't have a drink in case he does those things and I get that horrible sinking feeling again the next morning. As I see it he would rather jump all over me and enjoys the fact that it is without my consent or involvement. Our sex life, or lack of it, really is not a problem but what he did when I was in a deep sleep does.
I cannot fathom out why he says he has such a hang up about sex, but can have sex with me when I am asleep.
Please help this resentment is destroying my respect for him and I feel raped and violated and have told him so. I feel I cannot confront him again about this. I got nowhere last time.
He gave me empty promises saying he would never do it again. Does it make me just as bad because I am aware it is happening and have not confronted him about it this time?
Am I consenting in a way? I am 34 and my husband is 40.
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In the United States , the legality of incest varies widely between jurisdictions regarding both the definition of the offense and penalties for its commission.
In all but two states (and the special case of Ohio, which "targets only parental figures"), [1] incest is criminalized between consenting adults. In New Jersey and Rhode Island, incest between consenting adults (16 or over for Rhode Island, 18 or over for New Jersey) is not a criminal offense, though marriage is not allowed in either state. New Jersey also increases the severity of underage sex offenses by a degree if they are also incestuous, and criminalizes incest with 16-17 year olds (the normal age of consent in New Jersey is 16). Ohio allows incest between consenting adults only when one party is not a parental figure (see table below) to the other.
As of 2010 [update] , cases of incest involving consenting adults are often not revealed to outside parties, and therefore
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