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The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers: The Secret to Loving Teens Effectively Paperback – May 1, 2016
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4.8 out of 5 stars
2,633 ratings
Part of: The 5 Love Languages Series (11 books)
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GARY CHAPMAN --author, speaker, counselor--has a passion for people and for helping them form lasting relationships. He is the #1 bestselling author of The 5 Love Languages series and director of Marriage and Family Life Consultants, Inc. Gary travels the world presenting seminars, and his radio programs air on more than 400 stations. For more information visit his website at www.5lovelanguages.com .
Publisher
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Northfield Publishing; Reissue edition (May 1, 2016) Language
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English Paperback
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304 pages ISBN-10
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080241284X ISBN-13
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978-0802412843 Item Weight
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11.2 ounces Dimensions
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5.5 x 0.6 x 8.4 inches
4.8 out of 5 stars
2,633 ratings
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I first read "The Five Love Languages" for adults and it opened my eyes to a new world. I discovered how the way I was showing love to my husband really wasn't communicating love to him very effectively because MY love language was different than HIS. Then we had a family and my three boys became teenagers and surprise surprise it was a challenge! A friend suggested this book and I immediately was drawn in by it because the concept is the same. How I was trying to communicate love to each one of my three teen and tween boys was not being received how I meant it because their love languages were different than mine. Aargh! That meant I actually had to spend the time learning their love languages and trying to understand them. This was a new idea for me, especially since by then I was a single mom and all I could think about was surviving day to day, not really trying to figure out how each teen boy thought, processed and communicated. Raising young kids I had found to be pretty easy. Teens were another ballgame altogether! Fortunately this book drew the idea of the teenage love languages together for me very easily, and at least helped put me on the right track. I started talking to each of my boys about how they thought and communicated, what they liked and didn't, and we even did the teen love language test together! They thought it was stupid, but we laughed about it and it was helpful! The five languages are, of course, the same as for adults: words of affirmation, physical touch, gifts, acts of service and quality time. I learnt that one of my sons absolutely did not like to be touched but valued when I did things for him (acts of service). I learnt that another really valued quality time even if we didn't talk much. A third needed words of affirmation and negative words tore him apart. Amazing - my languages are words of affirmation and gifts, so there was a lot of miscommunication going on! We started to establish some family rules, and, amazingly, things began to change. I wrote in another review about teenage boundaries that my oldest two teenagers just left home this year. One started college last Fall and the other graduated HS this spring and started a full-time job for a year before he goes to college. They have grown into amazing young adults, and every time I see them they seem to be maturing more. Not everything I did was wrong - something was right, and we're STILL communicating, which is incredible and definitely thanks in part to this book! My youngest son, almost 16, is in full-blown teen years and I'm about to read this book again. Plus I now have two teenage stepdaughters and I've seen that there's a chapter here for blended families which is going to be absolutely invaluable. In short, this is an incredible book and well worth the investment of time and money. Learning to communicate with your teens reaps rewards not only during the younger teenage years, but on through their young adulthood and I'm sure well into the future. In my opinion, it's fairly easy to raise young children, but teenagers are the greatest challenge ever presented to the modern parent given everything we and they face today. This book will help you navigate those years and help you stay in touch with the greatest gift you have been given - your kids!
I love the tone of this book. The author comes across well, with the whole goal being to get to know our teens at the heart level. I found myself wanting to see my kids in this same light, as wonderful people God positioned in my life for me to know and interact with. Just that part would have made this book worthwhile. It really did help to change my heart toward them. There were some areas where I felt entitled to respect from them, but those thoughts were dashed as I realized I owe them only love. The author also addressed every question that came up, such as, "Isn't that indulgent?" "What about discipline?" "If I just love them, won't they walk all over me?" Those questions proved I just didn't understand the meaning of the word Love. These questions were particularly answered in the chapters about acts of service and gifts, two love languages that can easily be misused by both parents and teenagers. I learned some things I'd never thought of, such as making a ceremony out of gift giving, in order for it to be accepted as a gift rather than just something a son or daughter is entitled to. About acts of service, I appreciated the advice to serve, all the while explaining what we are doing, so that they will never misunderstand and think they are entitled to acts of service, and also that they will not miss what we are doing is expressing love. Something else that was new to me, and I hadn't counted on, was the moodiness of teenagers. I didn't know that was common and that it will be outgrown. I know, I should have known, I was obviously one at one time, but I missed the obvious, and had some aha moments personally, when I read this book. I hadn't known that there is no need to be offended or intimidated by these moody spells, but to lovingly address the person just as if they were not. There was a whole chapter devoted to finding out our teens' love languages, and even how they might have changed dialects by growing up. The book is up to date, acknowledging that there are cell phones and electronics, and how this affects today's teens so much more than the previous generation. The reason I don't give it five stars is because I thought the author could have used more examples of interests kids could have. So many of the examples and suggestions involved either peer relationships, homework, or sports, all areas where I thought kids would be displaying false personalities. I would have liked to read more examples about family activities in the home, where everyone tends to be more like themselves, and where the reality of their life will lie as soon as they graduate from school. It could also be that we are farming, and our lifestyle is very home centered instead of business trip/9 -5 hours oriented, and I just couldn't relate to those examples. Anyway, that small concern didn't take much away from a great book, There is so much wise advice here, that we could easily fill in our own examples from our life. This is a book I'm glad to have in my library and one that I will read again.
If you have a teen or preteen, You NEED this Book! Noone is born with all the know-how and skills to raise Healthy young adults!! It will be the best investment into your childs life. It's not to late to be a Great Parental Figure! You don't have to "wing it."
Great book on parenting teenagers. I regularly work with teenagers and their parents, and this is a book that I often turn to. It doesn’t always give specific answers to each and every issue, but it does give a foundational template for responding to teens in particular ways. If I have any critique of the book, it is that it does not take as seriously the issues that face today’s teenagers as it should. The last chapter dips toes into the water of addictions (and really does not specifically touch other very tough parenting issues). I wish Chapman would have addressed some of those very difficult issues. Even with the addiction issues, he did not really provide major help. To be fair, he pointed to other resources (which are helpful, by the way). I just wish he would have addressed these hot button topics in specific ways. Also, there are other major issues that teens are facing that were never even gently hinted to in the book. All in all, I strongly recommend this book. It is not overly “religious”, and it is not judgmental in any way. I do not think his perspective is antiquated, but is fresh and practical.
did not read the book it was a gift
5.0 out of 5 stars
Real Eye-opener!
This book was recommended to me after my 13 year old daughter and I had reached our limits with each other and were no longer speaking. I thought we'd passed the point of no return but I have to say THIS BOOK WORKS! The gestures suggested in the book seemed so small that they couldn't possibly work but once you know the right language to speak with your teen, they speak back, without grunting and shouting and what do you know, , ,your love tanks fill up!!! Even if you don't have a difficult teen, read it anyway as this will give you a valuable insight into other people too. Anyway, I've been working according to this book and this week was the first week my daughter and I had NO conflicts at all. She even turned down going out with friends to spend time with me! Definately a book I'll be hanging on to, especially as I have another daughter about to reach her teens too!
A great way to further understand the needs of my teen daughter. I loved the 5 love languages of my partner, so it was very similar.
Really good book I do enjoy reading
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Over 600,000 copies sold! Socially, mentally, and spiritually, teenagers face a variety of pressures and stresses each day. Despite these pressures, it is still parents who can influence teens the most, and The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers equips parents to make the most of that opportunity.
In this adaptation of the #1 New York Times bestseller The 5 Love Languages (more than 10 million copies sold) , Dr. Gary Chapman explores the world in which teenagers live, explains their developmental changes, and gives tools to help you identify and appropriately communicate in your teen's love language. Get practical tips for how to:
Get ready to discover how the principles of the five love languages can really work in the life of your teenage and family.
The Five Love Languages Gift Edition was designed with gift givers in mind. If you’ve benefited from the Five Love Languages books and want to pass along the wisdom to newlyweds or couples you know, this beautiful hardcover book with its two-color interior, ornate foil-stamped cover, satin ribbon, and deckled edges makes a perfect high-quality gift for any occasion.
In this groundbreaking book Paul White and Gary Chapman apply the love language concept to the workplace. Want to know how to connect with coworkers, motivate employees, or express appreciation effectively and appropriately in the workplace? This is the book for you.
Includes an MBA Inventory Access Code when you buy it new.
If you have a teenage family member or friend you want to introduce to The Five Love Languages, this book is the perfect place to start. Written with teens in mind, it breaks down the love language concept and applies it to the life of an average teenager in language they’ll appreciate and enjoy.
"When dealing with teenagers it's really sort of like finding your way through a maze. Every child is different and has different emotional and physical needs. After reading this book, I was really able to start to sense what my children need. By employing the use of the love language it really makes your child know that you understand and love them. It eases situations that could escalate especially when a child is upset. The way I parent with teenagers is really different from when they were little and I think by using these love languages in your arsenal of parenting is truly helpful."
Reviewed by Eva Rosol on NetGalley, Apr 28, 2016
"Urgh. Teenagers sure are difficult. Although I am not a mom of teens yet, I'm already anticipating the beatific angels transforming into acne-pocked, oily monsters full of angst and contempt for "the man"...meaning me.
I was absolutely thrilled when I found that Gary Chapman had created a sequel of sorts to the 5 Love Languages. The principle of love languages was the same; there are 5 languages that people respond to and feel loved by: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Gifts, Physical Touch, and Quality Time.
However, this book helps parents to navigate the waters of troubled teenagers and how to make them feel loved...without maybe feeling suffocated by mom and dad's love."
Reviewed by Andra Lynn on NetGalley, Apr 25, 2016
"The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers By Gary Chapman.
Gary Chapman first wrote the book "Five Love Languages". Since then the books have been customised for different markets including Men, Children, Teenagers, Singles and Military.
This version follows a similar format that outlines the five Love Languages: Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gifts, and Acts of Service. This is followed by chapters on how to discover your teenager's primary love language, and how the Love languages affect their love, responsibility development, independence, and dealing with failure.
There is a section of Speaking your teenager's love language and applying them in a single parent family, and blended families.
The book is an excellent practical resource for parents to understand their teenager, how they feel, and how to express love to a teenager in a way that has meaning to them. This unconditional love boosts a teenager's emotional needs and therefore their self-esteem.
There are lots of practical suggestions and ideas for each of the love languages.
A book that should be read regularly by every parent."
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