Anal Gone Bad
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Anal Gone Bad
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I'm Lee, a news writer and a millennial who doesn't like avocado toast β but don't congratulate me yet, because I still spend half of my paycheck on regular toast.
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WARNING: This is not for the weak of stomach.
Anal sex can be a pleasurable experience for both parties if there's honest communication and the right amount of preparation beforehand. But anal sex can also beget awkward mishaps and downright horrifying moments that you'll (hopefully) laugh about later. From uncontrollable bowel movements to using lube that is certainly not meant for down there (#NoJudgment), you may want to think twice about venturing into the world of anal sex unprepared.
Twelve brave souls offer their most cringeworthy anal sex stories that'll make you want to take it nice and slooooooow.
1. βMy then-boyfriend (now husband) and I decided to try having anal sex in the shower. We made the very stupid mistake of using shampoo for lube . It was terrible and embarrassing! I jumped out of the shower, called my sister, and asked what the hell to do because it burned so badly. She laughed at me. I had to kick him out of the shower and let the water run on it for a while. It took a couple days for the hurt to finally go away. I don't suggest trying this ever.β β Julia, 21
2. β I broke my boyfriend's tailbone with a misdirected thrust.β β Matt, 20
3. βI was having anal sex with my boyfriend at his parents' place while they were gone and we decided to do it on the couch. When he pulled out, I pooped all over the couch , and we tried to clean it up but it was a white couch, and it wouldn't come out, so we just blamed it on the dog.β β Katie, 21
4. βI was hooking up with this guy and we got super stoned before having sex. While we were doing it doggy style, I told him 'Let's do anal.' He put it in all the way! It was my first time. I hit my head on the headboard from going forward because of the pain and passed out . I woke up a few minutes later and he was sitting next to me concerned with water [for me]. Sweet guy. Never doing anal again. For now.β β Genevieve, 19
5. βThe guy I was dating at the time and I had done anal before, but this time was significantly more uncomfortable than before. He finished and got up to get dressed. I rolled over and noticed a tub of hair gel sitting on the table next to his bed . When he reached next to his bed for what he thought was lube, he accidentally grabbed the hair gel and used it as lube.β β Paige, 22
6. βIt was our first time. He wasn't a particularly well-endowed man but he was a pretty good lover. Until we got to anal sex β now, mind you, I'm a bigger girl with a big butt β and he couldn't reach. We tried all sorts of positions and he was too small to get in there . I was mortified and I'm sure he was just as embarrassed. We put back on our clothes and sat awkwardly apart all night.β β Liz, 20
7 . βMy boyfriend and I wanted to try anal sex for the first time. As we were doing it, he was super nervous I was going to shit on him, making the experience awkward and nerve-wracking. When I get nervous, I get gassy, so although that never happened, I let out a huge fart as he pulled out and he jumped back, thinking I had shit on him. And then tumbled off the bed. Really weird. Never did it again.β β Emily, 23
8. βHe didn't use a condom. I ended up with a really bad yeast infectio n and a trip to university health services. It wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't my nurse's first pelvic exam. Not only was it painful, but her supervisor decided to quiz her on vaginal infections and STIs. I couldn't get out of there quick enough!β β Jessica, 22
9. βMy then-boyfriend (now husband) and I were just starting to experiment with butt play. I was bent over and he had a vibrator on my butt hole while we were having sex. At some point, he decided to actually put it in my butt. Well, it was a small bullet vibrator with no cord or anything on it, and it got fully stuck in my butt hole . I was so embarrassed, I spent the rest of the night in the bathroom trying to get the still vibrating vibrator out of my butt! Luckily, I got it out. I couldn't imagine going to the hospital with that problem!β β Jacqueline, 29
10. βMy boyfriend and I had anal sex for the first time one night. It was great! The next day we went to an amusement park β I didn't realize that your bowel movements were not going to be as 'solid' as they normally are after that. Needless to say it all came out on a roller coaster!β β Taylor, 24
11. βMy boyfriend and I decided we wanted to try anal sex, so we started doing our research to make sure we did everything right and made it a good first time. We knew we need to have lots of lube so we bought some, but what we didn't know was that w e accidentally bought warming lube . The more we did it the more it burned, it was awful ... never again.β β Brooklyn, 24
12. βMy boyfriend and I were having sex for the first time. I'm a gay man, so I knew beforehand what was in store. I had a glass of wine or two or four to help ease my nerves. He was very slow about everything, gently making his way down. When he finally stuck his penis in, I completely freaked out and kicked him in his chest with both of my feet . It happened so fast, he just flew back! We went on to date for another three months. And my friends haven't let me live it down since!β β Kaleb, 20
Butt Stuff PSA: Trying a new sex activity should never be a surprise for either partner! If you want to see if anal sex is something you might enjoy, check out these foreplay tips to ease you into it slowly and *~safely~*.
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This menu's updates are based on your activity. The data is only saved locally (on your computer) and never transferred to us. You can click these links to clear your history or disable it .
This menu's updates are based on your activity. The data is only saved locally (on your computer) and never transferred to us. You can click these links to clear your history or disable it .
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