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It felt as if that night wouldn't pass. I had a throbbing headache and couldn't stop crying. I don't remember when I slept off. I woke up to find my husband standing in front of my bed with last night's question: "So, what have you decided? Is your answer yes or no?"
I didn't know what to say. I gathered some courage to speak up and mumbled: "Please go to the office, I'll call you by evening and let you know my answer, I promise."
He threatened: "I will call you myself at 4pm. I want the answer and it should be 'yes'. Otherwise be ready to get punished."
By punishment, he meant anal sex. He knew that it was extremely painful for me and he used it as a tool to torture me.
He and his elder sister left for the office. I was now alone and struggling with my thoughts.
After a few hours I gathered the courage to dial my father's number and told him that I couldn't live with my husband anymore.
#HerChoice is a series of true life-stories of 12 Indian women. These accounts challenge and broaden the idea of the "modern Indian woman" - her life choices, aspirations, priorities and desires.
I was afraid that my father would be angry but his response amazed me. "Pack your bags and get out of there," he said.
I took a book, gathered my educational certificates and rushed towards the bus station.
After boarding the bus, I sent a message to my husband. "My answer is 'no' and I am going back home," it said. After that I switched off my mobile phone.
After a few hours, I was home, surrounded by my family. I had left my husband's house after only two months of marriage.
I met my husband, Sahil, when I was in the final year of graduation. He was a jovial man. I liked being around him and with time we fell in love.
We used to go on dates, talk for countless hours on phone. It seemed as if life was almost too kind to me.
But this rosy romance did not continue for long. Gradually I started realising that our relationship lacked equality. It wasn't what I had been looking for.
Our relationship was becoming like my parents' relationship. The only difference; my mother kept silent while I could not stop myself from speaking up.
My father used to scream at my mother for petty things. He would even hit her and the only thing she responded with was tears.
When Sahil and I had an argument, it would often turn into a scuffle. He would use force to get intimate with me and scream at me if I refused.
I remember him once asking me: "Suppose I hit you someday, then what would you do?"
The question stunned me. I controlled my anger with great difficulty and replied, "I would break up with you that very day."
What he said next shocked me even more. He said, "It means you don't love me. Love should be unconditional."
After this, we didn't talk for almost a month.
Our fights became more frequent. Many times I'd try to end our relationship but he would apologise every time. I wanted to get rid of him forever and don't know why I wasn't able to do it.
Meanwhile, I was being pressured into marriage.
I was a teacher now. I'd be in class, teaching children and my parents would call me.
The same conversation would be repeated. "What have you thought about marriage? Why don't you marry Sahil? If not him then let us find a suitable match for you. At least think about your younger sisters…"
If anything went wrong at home, it would be blamed on my staying single.
Mother fell sick because I wasn't getting married. My father's business suffered losses because I wasn't getting married.
I was so frustrated that I finally said yes to marriage. I was still not ready for it and didn't believe Sahil's promise that he would change his attitude.
My fears came true after our wedding. Sahil made me a puppet, dancing to his tunes.
I was fond of poetry and used to my write my poems on Facebook. He forbade me from doing it. He even started dictating what I should wear.
One day he told me that I should finish all my reading and writing work by night. "If you leave me dissatisfied in bed, I will have to go to someone else."
He'd say that I wasn't making him happy and would advise me to watch pornography so I could learn some techniques.
And then he got this obsession with seeking work in Mumbai.
He said: "You stay here, do your job and send me money to support me there, and then you take out a loan so I can buy a house."
This is what he wanted me to say yes to. That night he had pushed me on the bed and forced me into anal sex just for that yes.
A line had been crossed. I left him the morning after.
I was a well-educated woman who could earn and live on her own. Yet, my heart was sinking when I left Sahil's home.
There was a fear of being judged by my own family and society. But even bigger than that was the pain in my heart.
When I reached home, my hair was dishevelled and eyes swollen as I had cried all night.
Newly married women look ravishing when they visit home for the first time after marriage. But my face was pale and the keen eyes of my neighbours guessed why.
People started pouring in. Some would say: "Such a terrible thing has happened to you." Others consoled me that Sahil would come to apologise and take me back.
Then there were a few who thought that a woman should not make such a harsh choice over petty issues.
Everyone had something to say but their opinions could not change my decision.
It has been seven months since I left Sahil's home and now I am choosing my own path. I have received a fellowship; I am doing a job and studying as well.
We have been going to police stations and courts as the legal procedure of divorce is not over yet.
I still wake up with a start at night. I still have nightmares.
I haven't been able to forget what I had to face but I am trying to move on in earnest.
My trust in love and relationships is definitely shaken, but not broken yet. I have decided to take some time for myself. I am proud that I didn't stay silent and got out of this abusive relationship before it was too late.
That is why I believe that my future will be better than my past and present.
This is a true life-story of a woman who lives in western India as told to BBC reporter Sindhuvasini Tripathi, produced by Divya Arya. The woman's identity has been kept anonymous on request.
BBC 100 Women names 100 influential and inspirational women around the world every year and shares their stories. Find us on Facebook , Instagram and Twitter and use #100Women
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Gwyneth Paltrow has imparted her unsolicited advice on many things – from vagina steaming to ex-purging bra-burning – and now she's decided to tell us what she's learned about anal sex.
In the Sex Issue of Goop , Paltrow's lifestyle site, readers are told that if "anal turns you on, you are definitely not alone".
"First it was shocking, then it was having a cultural moment, now it's practically standard in the modern bedroom repertoire – or so a quick scan of any media, from porn to HBO, will tell you,' says Goop. "But the reality about anal is not, actually, that everyone's doing it."
The piece points out that while "somewhere near half" of homosexual men practise anal sex, the number of heterosexual men and women who've tried it "vacillates between 30 and 40 percent".
The piece then offers question-and-answer-based advice from the research psychoanalyst and author Paul Joannides , who has published a book on sexuality called The Guide To Getting It On!
He goes on to explain the health risks of anal sex, how to modify the anal sex seen in porn, how to make sure your anal experience is a positive one and what should we be telling our children about anal intercourse.
So there we have the completely unprompted Gwyneth Paltrow guide to anal sex. You're welcome.

A NOTE ABOUT RELEVANT ADVERTISING: We collect information about the content (including ads) you use across this site and use it to make both advertising and content more relevant to you on our network and other sites. Find out more about our policy and your choices, including how to opt-out. Sometimes our articles will try to help you find the right product at the right price. We may receive payment from third parties for publishing this content or when you make a purchase through the links on our sites.
Nationwide News Pty Ltd © 2022. All times AEDT (GMT +11). Powered by WordPress.com VIP
More stories to check out before you go
A man who claims to have the “world’s biggest penis” has stunned breakfast TV hosts with an explicit picture.
A man who claims to have the “world’s biggest penis” has stunned breakfast TV hosts by showing them an explicit picture live on air.
According to New York actor Jonah Falcon, his penis measures 13.5 inches – which equates to roughly 35cm – when erect, and has an eight inch diameter – which equates to 20cm.
“For some reason, having 13-plus inches means I’m a bad person, or I’m egotistical, or I’m a porn star, or I’m dumb, or I’m a slut,” he told Britain’s This Morning hosts Phillip and Josie.
“Also, I’m sick and tired of having people wanting me to measure it in front of them. I’ve done it 10,000 times – enough already.”
Rather than again measuring his penis, Falcon shocked the hosts with a picture of it – leaving viewers stunned.
“This is just for you, so you don’t have to do all that imagining,” he told them.
“Hellfire. Congratulations, well done,” a stunned Phillip said in reaction, while Josie’s face said it all.
“I look down – there is nothing special,” Falcon then said.
“I don’t compare it to objects but when I take out the rulers I am like ‘OK’.”
Viewers quickly jumped on social media, some deeming the moment “hilarious” while others felt the unsolicited picture was “weird”.
“Turned on the TV and @Schofe is talking about aubergines and length and girth,” one wrote on Twitter.
“Then the guy whips out a picture … then I read the title …‘I’ve got the world’s biggest penis’.”
“This doesn’t feel like daytime TV,” wrote another.
“Does he show his phone to random people and say ‘here’s my d*ck’ just weird sorry,” added one.
While Falcon said being well-endowed had helped him sleep with celebrities, there are downsides – like being stopped at airport security when they spotted it hanging down his leg.
“Once I had it hanging, halfway to my leg and they asked me if I had a tumour, which I think would be someone’s first thought if they saw,” he said.
“I’ve learned if I’m going through security and things to ball it up a bit so it looks like a round mass. God help me if I get an erection if I do that. My testicles are proportionally large.”
In a 2017 interview with The Sun , he also claimed that his penis was having a negative impact on his acting life.
“It’s handicapped my acting because people won’t hire me,” he said.
“They Google ‘Jonah Falcon’ and then say, ‘We can’t use him he’s known for his penis size’.
“So it’s definitely harmed my career – I have two casting director friends who have told me so.”
Customers are going crazy for this amazing Woolworths self-serve checkout hack that will change the way you shop.
A teacher “thought it was normal to be tired all the time” in her new job – but when her legs swelled, doctors made a shock discovery.
A savvy shopper has revealed what she did to score a massive haul of grocery items from Woolworths – without paying a cent.

A NOTE ABOUT RELEVANT ADVERTISING: We collect information about the content (including ads) you use across this site and use it to make both advertising and content more relevant to you on our network and other sites. Find out more about our policy and your choices, including how to opt-out. Sometimes our articles will try to help you find the right product at the right price. We may receive payment from third parties for publishing this content or when you make a purchase through the links on our sites.
Nationwide News Pty Ltd © 2022. All times AEDT (GMT +11). Powered by WordPress.com VIP
More stories to check out before you go
A man who claims to have the “world’s biggest penis” has stunned breakfast TV hosts with an explicit picture.
A man who claims to have the “world’s biggest penis” has stunned breakfast TV hosts by showing them an explicit picture live on air.
According to New York actor Jonah Falcon, his penis measures 13.5 inches – which equates to roughly 35cm – when erect, and has an eight inch diameter – which equates to 20cm.
“For some reason, having 13-plus inches means I’m a bad person, or I’m egotistical, or I’m a porn star, or I’m dumb, or I’m a slut,” he told Britain’s This Morning hosts Phillip and Josie.
“Also, I’m sick and tired of having people wanting me to measure it in front of them. I’ve done it 10,000 times – enough already.”
Rather than again measuring his penis, Falcon shocked the hosts with a picture of it – leaving viewers stunned.
“This is just for you, so you don’t have to do all that imagining,” he told them.
“Hellfire. Congratulations, well done,” a stunned Phillip said in reaction, while Josie’s face said it all.
“I look down – there is nothing special,” Falcon then said.
“I don’t compare it to objects but when I take out the rulers I am like ‘OK’.”
Viewers quickly jumped on social media, some deeming the moment “hilarious” while others felt the unsolicited picture was “weird”.
“Turned on the TV and @Schofe is talking about aubergines and length and girth,” one wrote on Twitter.
“Then the guy whips out a picture … then I read the title …‘I’ve got the world’s biggest penis’.”
“This doesn’t feel like daytime TV,” wrote another.
“Does he show his phone to random people and say ‘here’s my d*ck’ just weird sorry,” added one.
While Falcon said being well-endowed had helped him sleep with celebrities, there are downsides – like being stopped at airport security when they spotted it hanging down his leg.
“Once I had it hanging, halfway to my leg and they asked me if I had a tumour, which I think would be someone’s first thought if they saw,” he said.
“I’ve learned if I’m going through security and things to ball it up a bit so it looks like a round mass. God help me if I get an erection if I do that. My testicles are proportionally large.”
In a 2017 interview with The Sun , he also claimed that his penis was having a negative impact on his acting life.
“It’s handicapped my acting because people won’t hire me,” he said.
“They Google ‘Jonah Falcon’ and then say, ‘We can’t use him he’s known for his penis size’.
“So it’s definitely harmed my career – I have two casting director friends who have told me so.”
Customers are going crazy for this amazing Woolworths self-serve checkout hack that will change the way you shop.
A teacher “thought it was normal to be tired all the time” in her new job – but when her legs swelled, doctors made a shock discovery.
A savvy shopper has revealed what she did to score a massive haul of grocery items from Woolworths – without paying a cent.

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