Anal First Person

Anal First Person
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You’ve explored anal play for the first time , you’ve played with a few toys , and now you’re ready to put that P in the A. Here’s your guide to everything you need to know when trying anal for the first time.
Anal sex is pretty polarizing. A lot of people love it, and a lot of people don’t even understand the temptation to try it. No one is should be forcing you to try anal, but there are a few compelling reasons to give it a go:
If your interest isn’t slightly piqued by this point, I can’t help you. But if you’re intrigued, read on!
You’ve got a butt, but (heh) the odds are that you’re probably ignoring it. Your ass has the…
Just like with any other type of sex, you have to take precautions to keep yourself safe during anal. You can’t get pregnant, but you can transmit STIs through anal sex. In fact, transmission rates are higher for anal sex than for most other sexual activities, since anal tissues are sensitive and susceptible to microtears. Use a condom unless you’re already fluid-bonded with your partner.
The hygiene factor is one of the biggest reasons people tend to shy away from anal sex. A lot of guys are worried about poo-dick (yes, that’s the official term for it). We won’t lie to you; your penis is probably going to come into contact with traces of fecal matter. But the key word here is traces . Poop slides through the rectum and anus when you’re on the toilet, but it doesn’t hang out there the rest of the day. Here are some steps you can take to keep things as clean as possible:
In the end, you’re probably way more paranoid about the cleanliness factor than necessary. Anal sex is actually pretty clean, and it’s likely that you won’t notice anything when the deed is done and you’re pulling out of anal town.
If you’re the pitcher in this scenario, it’s usually best to let the catcher take the lead with hygiene. They’re likely just as concerned about cleanliness as you are, and you don’t want to shame them by dictating how they should take care of their body.
Most anal virgins are bound to be a little nervous at first, so give yourself plenty of time to get aroused. Do the usual things you do when you’re naked together. If you’re the receiving partner, an orgasm beforehand will help your muscles relax.
Lube is non-negotiable for anal sex. Your rectum is very tight and doesn’t create lubrication on it’s own, like a vagina does, so you need lube to help things slide in properly . Lube will also prevent painful tugging and tearing of the skin. Try a silicone lube like Pjur Original Bodyglide or a water based lube like Wicked Jelle . Put lube directly on the asshole itself, and onto the penis, strap-on, or condom. Use a lot. Even if it seems like a laughable amount, it’s necessary. Trust us.
I firmly believe that lube can be a wonderful addition to any person’s sex life. But picking a lube
When it comes to penetration itself, it’s usually best to let the receiving partner be in control, at least initially. They’re the ones at risk of experiencing pain. Dictating the pace and depth of penetration will minimize pain and ease any lingering nerves. One of the best positions for first-time anal is doggystyle. It allows the receiv er to be in control of the movement, and go as slowly as possible. Plus, doggystyle helps open up that whole area back there. Side-by-side spooning (where you’re facing the same direction) is also a good beginner position, though the pitcher will have slightly more control than the catcher.
When you’re getting started, go as slow as possible. Pretend you’re actually in slow motion, and try moving at half-speed. The receiver should focus on keeping their muscles relaxed. You may feel yourself instinctively tensing up, so keep taking deep breaths and trying to release that tension. You’re putting a big thing into a small hole, so expect that there will be some discomfort (the amount will vary from person to person). Some people will experience a “hurts-so-good” type of sensation, but others might feel “bad pain” that feels sharp or stinging. If you’re unsure what kind of pain it is, err on the side of caution and ask your partner to stop and give you a moment to relax. , Don’t ever push yourself to keep going if it doesn’t feel right. Keep working your way down the shaft of the penis slowly. Don’t start thrusting in and out until you’ve achieved complete penetration, and the receiver is comfortable with moving forward.
Once you’re both feeling at ease, you can pick up the pace and start thrusting more. You want to avoid pulling all the way out and pushing back in (this can lead to pain), so try to limit thrusts to a small range of motion. Make sure to keep communicating about what feels good and what doesn’t.
Now’s also the opportunity to add more stimulation to other areas of your body. If you’re a lady catcher, get some extra clitoral stimulation going at the same time with a vibrator, your hand, or your partner’s hand. Doggystyle and side-by-side are easy positions to do this. If you’re a dude catcher, you can jack yourself off or have your partner jack you off.
Before I tell you how to find the best strap-on harness for you, let’s get one thing straight: In…
When you’re both done with your anal fun, make sure that the giver pulls out as slowly as possible. Having something that girthy exiting your anus can feel a little strange, but slowing it down will make it feel much better. Don’t be concerned if the anus doesn’t immediately return to it’s usual balloon-knot state. It’s just taken a bit of a beating, and needs some time to close back up.
Wipe yourself off with tissues, then take a trip to the bathroom to clean up more thoroughly. Even if the pitcher used a condom, it’s still a good idea to wash off with soap and water. Soap will also help take care of the lube around the catcher’s anus. Make sure not to have any other sexual contact before cleaning up. In particular, putting a penis that has just been in an anus into a vagina is a one-way ticket to a vaginal infection.
Anal sex leaves one lingering present for the receiver: lube poops. Your next bowel movement is probably going to feel like it’s sliding right out of your butt. If your partner ejaculated into your anus, it will feel even slipperier (and may look a little strange too). Farts can also feel different traveling down your lubed-up butthole. Don’t fret if you find a tiny bit of blood in your stool; anal tissues are susceptible to small tears. But if you have a lot of blood, or ongoing pain, give your doctor a call.
Anal sex is unfortunately still saddled with a bad rap, but it can be immensely pleasurable for giver and receiver alike, and can be a fun new journey to embark on together. Give butt love a chance!
This article was originally published in January 2016 and updated Nov. 13, 2020 to replace outdated links and align the content with current Lifehacker style.

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Originally Published: July 15, 2019
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Anal sex is a bit like a roller-coaster: exciting for some, nerve-wracking for others, and an experience with so much fun potential. Maybe anal sex is your main or only option, because of your anatomy or because of vaginal discomfort. Anal can also be a kinky alternative to vaginal, oral, and manual sex, or a kinky way to give or receive double the pleasure.
If the idea of back-door fun gets you excited but you’re feeling nervous about trying anal sex for the first time, Luke Thao , a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Associate (LMFTA) and member of the PNW Sex Therapy Collective based in Seattle, says you’re not alone. He previously told Elite Daily that, when his clients are introducing any new form of play into the bedroom — whether it’s anal or toys or anything else — he emphasizes “the process of learning to be comfortable with your fantasies. So many of us have fantasies but it’s in the interpretation or valuation of our fantasies that a lot of people get caught up. So, having that space for yourself or with a group of friends or with a therapist to be able to explore that fantasy space is where I’d start. And then take it into the partnered space.”
Even if you don’t feel completely ready to take the anal penetration plunge, there are several other forms of anal play that you can engage in, including rimming (using a tongue on the anus), fingering, pegging a partner , and using a vibrator. If you do graduate to anal sex, there might be some physical discomfort in the beginning, since your muscles are trying something new. That's why it's important to take it easy, be patient, and ensure that the receiving partner lubes up during anal sex. Sexologist and reproductive justice activist Michelle Hope previously told Elite Daily that one of the most crucial aspects of anal sex is that the anus is not self-lubricating, "and therefore has a higher risk of tissue tears. Lube is your best friend when looking to explore the back door!"
As for emotional discomfort? There really shouldn't be any. Sexual consent is always and absolutely necessary — no ifs, ands, or buts about it. And when introducing a new act — especially something as physically intense as anal — it’s doubly important to get an added layer of consent, even if both partners previously consented to other sex acts beforehand.
Another aspect to consider is safety during anal sex . Use a condom to prevent the passing of STDs. And if you're switching from anal sex to vaginal sex — in that order — a new condom is necessary. Once you've got the time, lube, condoms, and a patient, consenting partner, you'll be good to go.
The following first-time anal stories will give you a glimpse of what your first time might be like, physically and emotionally. Here are 10 women and non-binary people on their first time having anal sex: the convos they had leading up to it, how it felt, and whether or not they'd do it again.
Luke Thao , MA, LMFTA (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Associate)
Michelle Hope, sexologist and reproductive justice activist
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This article was originally published on 07.15.19

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